what has the biggest compromise been in your relationship?

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Posted by the future mrs m

Since dating my FH, the biggest compromise I have had to make has been not getting into it with him when he's moody or snappy. In past relationships I would have made this an issue, now I just look at him or become quiet and he knows he was in the wrong and we deal with it quickly. I wonder how I will deal with this once we live together in three months. What has been an issue you've had to swallow and 'keep it moving with?'

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same here, i dont see it as a compromise, i see it as becoming a better person. In past relationships or more like relationship since i was in a long-term relationship before FH, I would flip out and cause scenes and start HUGE fights...Any little thing that pissed me off would set me off.

When I met FH he was so different...He is a real sweet person, kind and just a good person overall...He handled it differently if i flipped out and i would feel bad if i did...I learned how to approach things differently...I'll talk to him, or calm myself down first and make sure not to flip out on him. Its so great

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by the future mrs m

Since dating my FH, the biggest compromise I have had to make has been not getting into it with him when he's moody or snappy. In past relationships I would have made this an issue, now I just look at him or become quiet and he knows he was in the wrong and we deal with it quickly. I wonder how I will deal with this once we live together in three months. What has been an issue you've had to swallow and 'keep it moving with?'

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same here, i dont see it as a compromise, i see it as becoming a better person. In past relationships or more like relationship since i was in a long-term relationship before FH, I would flip out and cause scenes and start HUGE fights...Any little thing that pissed me off would set me off.

When I met FH he was so different...He is a real sweet person, kind and just a good person overall...He handled it differently if i flipped out and i would feel bad if i did...I learned how to approach things differently...I'll talk to him, or calm myself down first and make sure not to flip out on him. Its so great

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That is so funny. It's the same with me. He almost had a heart attack during our first fight when I became angry & started screaming & slamming doors. FH has taught me how to approach situations more maturely.

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Posted by Dee606

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by the future mrs m

Since dating my FH, the biggest compromise I have had to make has been not getting into it with him when he's moody or snappy. In past relationships I would have made this an issue, now I just look at him or become quiet and he knows he was in the wrong and we deal with it quickly. I wonder how I will deal with this once we live together in three months. What has been an issue you've had to swallow and 'keep it moving with?'

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same here, i dont see it as a compromise, i see it as becoming a better person. In past relationships or more like relationship since i was in a long-term relationship before FH, I would flip out and cause scenes and start HUGE fights...Any little thing that pissed me off would set me off.

When I met FH he was so different...He is a real sweet person, kind and just a good person overall...He handled it differently if i flipped out and i would feel bad if i did...I learned how to approach things differently...I'll talk to him, or calm myself down first and make sure not to flip out on him. Its so great

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That is so funny. It's the same with me. He almost had a heart attack during our first fight when I became angry & started screaming & slamming doors. FH has taught me how to approach situations more maturely.

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LOL i know my ex would dish it right back, which isn't healthy at all...but when i saw FH's face the first time i did that, my heart sunk and i felt horrible. So great to be in a healthy relationship, at first it was like OH WOW so this is what its like lol

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Posted by lizzynyu

I think the biggest compromise is learning to live with a fireman. I have a major fear of fire and I also have a fear of losing people I love. My dad had a stroke when I was 12 (13 years ago today actually) and he's been in a nursing home ever since. My mom has Multiple Sclerosis and its been tough for me growing up. I didn't want to put myself in a situation where there could be a possibility of my husband (GOD-FORBID 1million x's) being killed on duty and leaving me and our future children alone. We almost broke up over this past summer when we first moved in together because it was so hard for me. I'm still scared to death for him everyday that he goes to work but at least he'll be getting off probation soon so he will be able to actually call me during the day now. I've tried to be better about it. But whenever he's at work, I watch the news like a fiend just to make sure there is nothing going on. I hope in time this will get better. He also compromised for me too by moving to Brooklyn from Manhasset where he grew up so that I could be close to my mom b/c I don't drive.

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that must be so hard for you. . . i have such a respect for wives of firemen, police officers or the military. . . it must be so hard and it really takes a special person to be able to support your husband . . . you have to worry about his safety while he is worrying about the safety of the people he is dedicated to saving . . . that is true love!!!! you must be such a strong person and i am sure he realizes and appreciates that!!

biggest compromise for me is learning that i dont live in a romance novel.

I always dreamed of this handsome man writing me poems and sweeping me off my feet at every moment. I was always jealous of women who had that. . . but then slowly their true colors were revealed. A man can write a poem and still cheat on his wife. . . I don't mean to oversimplify but I was always devestated that FH could not express his feelings for me - but i learned that words can be so empty and actions are more important.

he may never write me poems or serenade me - but he was there when my grandmother passed, when my uncle was diagnosed with cancer. . . he didnt have some eloquent speech prepared to comfort me but he was just standing beside me - and i used to mistake that for coldness but now i appreciate it!!!

i used to cry and scream at him over this. . . seriously for YEARS until i understood that i didnt need all that fancy stuff!

Moved to NJ...but then again, FH moved to NJ from GA (which was definitely closer to NY than GA was). Can't even say we're even cuz his move was bigger (though he had wanted to move back to NJ- his home state, for years).

I have to compromise all the time when it comes to sports...if there's a family thing, I just have to let him do his sports crap. The issue right now is my niece's communion party- we'll be there for her ceremony, then the party starts at 12. We have tickets (we have a Saturday ticket plan w/the Yankees) to the game that starts at 4...party isn't OVER til 4. FH INSISTS he is going to the game, and leaving the party early. I'm trying to just let it go. I don't feel right leaving the party, being her aunt....but at the same time- GRRRR he should be staying with me!!

Funny thing is, we brought this up in FOCCUS. They sided with FH! They said the important thing is the ceremony and we're gonna be there....and we should leave early and not even tell them why- we just have something else planned. YEAH right with my family!! Ain't gonna happen!

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Posted by ant n tilde

biggest compromise for me is learning that i dont live in a romance novel.

I always dreamed of this handsome man writing me poems and sweeping me off my feet at every moment. I was always jealous of women who had that. . . but then slowly their true colors were revealed. A man can write a poem and still cheat on his wife. . . I don't mean to oversimplify but I was always devestated that FH could not express his feelings for me - but i learned that words can be so empty and actions are more important.

he may never write me poems or serenade me - but he was there when my grandmother passed, when my uncle was diagnosed with cancer. . . he didnt have some eloquent speech prepared to comfort me but he was just standing beside me - and i used to mistake that for coldness but now i appreciate it!!!

i used to cry and scream at him over this. . . seriously for YEARS until i understood that i didnt need all that fancy stuff!

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awwww Tilde that was beautiful

Famous for my Irish temper and Italian attitude, my biggest compromise is talking through issues immediately after they happen. I tend to need time to blow off steam, slam some doors, and be by myself, but DH is a major communicator and likes to sit down and talk things out and settle them/make up right away. This is very difficult for me to do (I can hold a major grudge), but I'm working on it and think I'm coming around.

His biggest compromise with me has been picking up his life and moving to be closer to me...I know how hard it was for him. He has also become much more open regarding discussions around finances...this is something his family doesn't really do and it made him uncomfortable for a long time. I'm so proud.

our biggest compromise has been dealing with his impossible family. FH and I are best friends and the main issue in our lives is his family and how intrusive they are...

Probably the biggest compromise for me and FH is where we will live when we're married... I'm from Long Island and love it there... FH is from Pittsburgh and loves it there! My family is on Long Island and his from Pittsburgh... he even tried to make it a little more difficult by suggesting we move south... which I am completely against simply because I cannot see myself fitting in somwhere like Georgia or South Carolina at all! (I'm a New Yorker, lol... Pittsburgh has been enough of an adjustment for me for school!)

But I agreed to start in Pittsburgh... really to save up some money since LI is sooo expensive, and I try to look at the positive side... it will be nice to have a house right away since we probably wouldn't be able to do that if we moved to LI right away. Also, he agreed to move to LI when we're ready to have a family and have enough money, and then I said we could possibly move south when the kids are all grown up (we'll see about that...lol).

That was a big issue for us for a while, i'm so glad we finally have a plan and everything is settled!