What I Did on New Year's Eve.......

I gave birth to Sophia Margaret at 9:18 pm! She was born at 5 lbs , 11 oz , 18 inches long. And yes. She was four weeks early.

I don't know where to begin. Where to end. How I share my joy without sharing how hard a journey we have traveled. I only know my life will never be the same again. I will never see my life again as anything less than the most precious gift in the world. I will never look at my little girl and know a greater love. I will never see my husband without a halo that glows brighter than any angel. I was given a million gifts in the last few hours of 2003, and honestly I am still quite a bit overwhelmed by the whole thing.

I am not sure where I left off with you all - and have to shut down right after I post so I dont' end up missing a feeding, but will be back tomorrow to catch up with all of you and see how all my buddies are doing! I must warn you the following story is not a pretty one - and I know when I was pregnant it was hard for me to read anything scary. So please if you are in that mode - skip this post and know that everything turned out brilliantly and I am holding a wondrous little angel.

In a nutshell, I saw my doctor the Monday before New Years for the pre-eclampsia symptoms. They took my heartrate, and urine and I was admitted into the hospital within an hour. They monitored me there overnight to find out that I was many many levels above the safe moderate stages and was diagnosed with severe pre-eclampsia immediately. I was sent right to labor and delivery to be induced. I don't even know when I was finally induced - I think 8 or so on Tuesday. I was hooked up to magnesium sulfate to protect against contractions and pitocin to bring them on - not a great combination. They gave me a light epidural in the beginning, but I wasn't allowed anymore because of my blood pressure and other symptoms. My heart rate was monitored every 3 minutes. I was in labor for just around 24 hours at which point it finally came time to push. My kidneys however were severely close to failure and I couldnt' get any more epidural at that point either. I pushed for around 2 hours - and then everything starts to kind of blur up here....basically, my heartrate dropped to something crazy like 60 over something. As did Sophia's. We were both I am afraid dangerously close to not being ok. So we had to do a vacuum extraction in those last vital moments. And with three final pushes - out she came. When I heard her cry I just wept from exhaustion and they bundled her onto me and I called her Sophia......

My husband had me at every push - arms right under my leg. I had to have an oxygen mask, and a catheter.... and with all those iv's...I just looked a fright and he kept telling me how beautiful I was. I could not have done it without him. I really couldn't have. My mother too was there in the corner of the room just like an angel watching over me. I am sure it wasn't harder for anybody than her to see me like that.

As a result of all this, Sophia was in NICU up until yesterday - I wasn't able to see her for the first 24 hours which was agony. I was being monitored in labor and delivery for seizures and she was in that damn incubator - we both received so much magnesium that we needed to process it out....

After I was released, she had to stay so I stayed in the NICU office for the rest of the nights so I could be with her and feed her. The good news is the breastfeeding has gone great as a result - we had so much one on one instruction and such great care. It was a little difficult not taking her home, and staying there, but I was a trooper and my husband came back and forth with food from the outside world. Hospital cafeteria food just don't do it!!!! But there is no place I would have rather been. You couldn't have torn me away. Oh and I can't say enough about the nurses...nurses in general actually - I have never had so much respect and admiration for people doing such a hard job....

So all in all - recovery is going okay - I mean I have to be very careful and take things slowly - it's all about just taking care of the baby now. I have a lot of getting used to and tons of liwedding ready to catch up on. I will try to post some shutterfly pics soon so you can see my New Years Eve angel. Thanks for listening guys - and I am sorry you weren't updated per the usual mode! Michele31 I didn't have any of your info with me!!!!

I missed you guys desparately....will be back soon to share more!!!