What if I'm not getting married in a church though?

Original post by danielleb

Mar 01, 2005 05:45 PM

Sorry to drag this subject on, but what if I am Catholic, FH is Jewish and we are NOT getting married in a church, or under a Chuppah (Spell) I have heard that a Priest won't marry you if you are not in a church. And A Rabbi won't marry you if you are in a church. We're getting married at the reception site. Am I going to have to pay someone to dress up like a Priest to please my mother because I won't be able to get a real one?

Sweetness Posted: Mar 02, 2005 02:51 PM

Re: What if I'm not getting married in a church though?

Posted by babslovesjoey

Sweetness, it says in your profile you got married by a deacon?

I did get married by a Deacon because the Priest from my congregation does not do out of church weddings. Why does that matter?

I could have gotten married in the Church by a Priest and a Rabbi but the one thing my husbands family asked was not to be married with Jesus Christ staring back at them. I wanted to respect both religions.

I got a dispensation and special permission to be married outside the church. Like i said before my marriage is on file and recognized by the Catholic church and is on file within the Dioceses of rockville center. So it is possible to have a recognized marriage outside the church. I guess your church is a little tougher on you..
No hard feelings right?

charityhope Posted: Mar 02, 2005 03:55 PM

Re: What if I'm not getting married in a church though?

This is what I was told:

A Catholic priest can only perform a marraige outside of a church if it is an interfaith ceremony. The priest would be allowed to make the exception in order to ensure that neither bride nor groom had to go before an altar of a religion that was not his/her own.
This marraige, outside of church, will be recognized fully. This information was given to me by the Diocese of Rockville Center.

Of course, this didn't help me, b/c FH and I are both Catholic, so basically we're not allowed to get married outside, but people who are marrying outside the faith can-- it's just silly. If it's valid in one instance, it should be valid across the board. If God is everywhere, and the Pope can say mass in Yankee Stadium, then why can't I get married outside? It's so unfair. ::pauses as she gets of her soapbox::

Anyway, the other option is to find a reformed catholic priest. These are priests who used to be part of the Roman Catholic church, but after disagreeing with the politics left to join the American Catholic Church. A marraige performed by one of these priests will not be cecognized by the Catholic church, BUT your children can still be baptized.

We got a reformed Catholic priest to do our outdoor ceremony at Lands End. We also decided to do a small ceremony-- just parents and witnesses-- in the Church to make sure we get the best of both worlds.

You have to do whatever will make you and your family most comfortable.

Good luck.