What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
Audreygirl
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What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
so now that we're trying to do this quick marriage, i know that most churches requires 6 mos notice, so i will likely not be able to do a church wedding. and if i get a retired priest or someone similar to marry us, then it won't be recognized by the church - but why is that significant? just trying ot get info. i've done all my sacraments and so has fh.
MnM52607
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
I am not exactly sure. But why don't you speak to your priest? I've known a few girls that got pregnant and the church still married them in a short period of time. I don't see why they wouldn't help you, all you want to do is get married sooner.
ali120206
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
If you get married outside of the church and you want it to be recognized at a later date, you can get your marriage blessed. My friend did this when she was going to baptize her children (they wouldn't let her otherwise).
Kara and Todd
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
I think the term for having the marriage reconized later is convalidation.
SeptBride70
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
Posted by MnM52607
I am not exactly sure. But why don't you speak to your priest? I've known a few girls that got pregnant and the church still married them in a short period of time. I don't see why they wouldn't help you, all you want to do is get married sooner.
absolutely-- i agree
if your priest is not helpful-- try calling father mickey (father martin bancroft jr). he is in st. phillip and james church in st. james. he helped me when my priest was not being very nice-- he is amazing, like-- AMAZING! i know he'll do whatever he can for you and he is SO nice to talk to (he's real, and he can relate) so i think you'd feel comfortable talking to him.
ant n tilde
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
i know that my BIL and SIL got their children baptized without getting married in the church
it was STRONGLY suggested that they should though - but they chose not to ( not the best example for your kids. . . but hey to each his own)
anyway, i think you need that much notice if you are planning a wedding on a fri, sat, sun that will be traditional - and you need time to complete the precana - but for a small intimate blessing? i think they could definitely work with you!! why would they discourage people from making their already legal marriage valid in church? definitely ask!
rojerono
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
If you don't have the marriage recognized then you simply have not fufilled all of your sacrements. My mother got married outside of a church and she actually had a priest refuse her extreme unction in the hospital because of it! He was an idiot, but in theory... you are failing your sacraments. You would want to have the marriage blessed at a later date ... before you have kids.
ETA... I had my children baptized... not only was I NOT married in a church... I am STILL not married. Most churches will not refuse baptism to a child simply because the parents are not married.
sfmullen
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
I am not sure what the effect is but I think you would be suprised how many churches make exceptions to the 6 month rule. as long as you can get all the investigational stuff done quickly and do find a precanna thing quick too I think they will do it!
CLMon7906
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
what impact? IMO...nothing. personally, i think the implications are just mind games that they can use against you to keep you 'in' the church and what not....this is my soapbox, but honest, answer.
donegal419
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
there really is no 'impact' i guess... but i think you need to think about what is important to you and your fiance. it seems like you have been active members of the church thus far and have received all your sacraments... why not receive the last one??
this is just my soapbox, but to me, i truly believe that Marriage is a sacrament. God brought us together and our faith and trust in Him to guide us, etc. etc. is crucial to the success of our marriage. therefore, i cannot imagine NOT getting married in the church. it is an absolute NON-negoitable for me. if your line of thinking is similar, i would suggest getting married in the Church. You could get a convalidation afterwards, but that is paperwork, etc. etc.
many churches will still marry you within 6 months... there are extenuating circumstances, etc. that often cause couples to push it up. as long as you've completed your Pre-Cana and any other requirements from your priest, you should be fine. the 6 month rule is to give couples enough time to complete Pre-Cana, etc. and to make sure that they were not 'rushing into' the marriage.
GOOD LUCK!!!
103005FallBride
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
There is no impact...it's truly a personal decision. DH & I were married at our hall for personal reasons. We are in the process of having our marriage convalidated.
As for the response I quoted below...I truly understand where you're coming from, but speak from one Christian to another...do you think that God is not blessing marriages preformed outside that Catholic Church?
God truly 110% brought DH & I together...He was there with us on our wedding day and EVERY day. God recognizes our marriage...the Catholic Church does not. There IS a HUGE difference.
Posted by donegal419
there really is no 'impact' i guess... but i think you need to think about what is important to you and your fiance. it seems like you have been active members of the church thus far and have received all your sacraments... why not receive the last one??
this is just my soapbox, but to me, i truly believe that Marriage is a sacrament. God brought us together and our faith and trust in Him to guide us, etc. etc. is crucial to the success of our marriage. therefore, i cannot imagine NOT getting married in the church. it is an absolute NON-negoitable for me. if your line of thinking is similar, i would suggest getting married in the Church. You could get a convalidation afterwards, but that is paperwork, etc. etc.
ILUVDC
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
This is 100% a personal choice. FH& I were both raised Catholic. We want to be married outside.(We believe Mother Nature is one with GOD) We also want to be married by a Deacon b/c we feel that he understands the sacrament of marriage bewteen a man & a woman more so than a priest would. Again, this is our choice. GOD gave us free will. I do not believe you will go to hell for not being married in a catholic church. You do what you feel is right for both you and FH. Good Luck and God Bless!
donegal419
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
Posted by 103005FallBride
There is no impact...it's truly a personal decision. DH & I were married at our hall for personal reasons. We are in the process of having our marriage convalidated.
As for the response I quoted below...I truly understand where you're coming from, but speak from one Christian to another...do you think that God is not blessing marriages preformed outside that Catholic Church?
God truly 110% brought DH & I together...He was there with us on our wedding day and EVERY day. God recognizes our marriage...the Catholic Church does not. There IS a HUGE difference.
I am sorry that my post was misconstrued.... i absolutely do NOT feel that marriages performed outside the Church are not blessed by God or aren't just as special... i was just saying that for ME PERSONALLY, i would not be married any other way. everyone is free to choose to do whatever they want to do. i was just stating my opinion about why I am choosing to get married in the Church and my view on the sacrament. sorry if offended anyway... totally NOT my intent!!!!
ILUVDC
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Re: What is the impact of not having the church recognize your marriage?
Being honest on the boards are the most important thing. I was not offended by anybodies posts. I just think that everyone has different opinions on the matter. Religion is a touchy subject to begin with! To each is own. Good Luck, Love, & Prosperity to all of the Brides wheather your being married at the Vatigan or in your backyard!
