We wanted no more than 100 guests at our wedding, for several reasons. We have medium sized families, many friends, and sticking to that number was difficult. But we managed.
One of the things we did, in order to have everyone there who really need to see us get married, is invite singles without guests. with more than 20 singles, we felt that inviting them with guests would be another 20 people and we'd rather have people that are integral parts of our lives instead of strangers who may not be around forever. The rule of thumb for our single friends was that people were invited with a guest only if they were engaged, living together, or an engagement was iminent.
I also felt very strongly that I didn't want to turn my wedding into an evening event in which our single friends brought their 'flavor of the week'
SInce our invitations have gone out, we have had 3 single friends ask if they could bring a date b/c they wanted someone to dance with. I said NO. I politely told them that we have a limit of 100, and while we would say yes, if we could.....we simply cannot.
Is this tacky or rude? I don't think so but I'm feeling bad about it. I really feel strongly that I don't want people at my wedding whom I a- don't know b- are someones random date who they'd take to a nightclub (my wedding is a sacred event!) c- may never see again.
what are your thoughts on this? Please be honest.
tonimike
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your wedding your choice,,
ive been to quite a few weddings where i was not invited with a guest & it stunk.. so im not doing that ,,
aprlflwr
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It is your wedding, you are entitled to do what you want. Maybe if you don't get as many 'yes' responses maybe you can make exceptions for your single guests.
Future Mrs.
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Posted by aprlflwr
It is your wedding, you are entitled to do what you want. Maybe if you don't get as many 'yes' responses maybe you can make exceptions for your single guests.
that is an EXCELLENT way of handling it.
Yecala27
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Is your wedding do what you want. Every wedding is different. I don't see nothing worng with that maybe if the guest is dating someone for a long time than maybe you should consider.
Maybride07
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Its your weddings so you can do whatever you want. I am going to invite singles over 18 with a guest. But its your day so do what works for you.
melbalalala
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Im gonna answer your question honestly.
From reading your post.. if I was dating someone for like 4 years but didnt plan on getting engaged anytime soon it sounds like I wouldnt be able to bring my boyfriend as a date to your wedding.
I think thats rude, IMO.
I understand the 'flavor of the week' mentality. Anyone I KNEW wasnt dating someone did NOT get a 'and guest'... I didnt want people going out and FINDING dates to the wedding.. but, if someone was dating someone for a decent amount of time I put 'and guest' because its just rude not to....
Future Mrs.
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Posted by melbalalala
Im gonna answer your question honestly.
From reading your post.. if I was dating someone for like 4 years but didnt plan on getting engaged anytime soon it sounds like I wouldnt be able to bring my boyfriend as a date to your wedding.
I think thats rude, IMO.
I understand the 'flavor of the week' mentality. Anyone I KNEW wasnt dating someone did NOT get a 'and guest'... I didnt want people going out and FINDING dates to the wedding.. but, if someone was dating someone for a decent amount of time I put 'and guest' because its just rude not to....
I agree with you. In the cases where someone was dating someone for very long periods of time, we not only put 'and guest' on it, but we put the partner's NAME. We knew where it would be innapropriate not to invite a guest.....we used common sense. The singles we invited without guests...almost 20 I might add, have nobody significant in their lives. At least not that I am aware of.
melbalalala
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Posted by Future Mrs.
Posted by melbalalala
Im gonna answer your question honestly.
From reading your post.. if I was dating someone for like 4 years but didnt plan on getting engaged anytime soon it sounds like I wouldnt be able to bring my boyfriend as a date to your wedding.
I think thats rude, IMO.
I understand the 'flavor of the week' mentality. Anyone I KNEW wasnt dating someone did NOT get a 'and guest'... I didnt want people going out and FINDING dates to the wedding.. but, if someone was dating someone for a decent amount of time I put 'and guest' because its just rude not to....
I agree with you. In the cases where someone was dating someone for very long periods of time, we not only put 'and guest' on it, but we put the partner's NAME. We knew where it would be innapropriate not to invite a guest.....we used common sense. The singles we invited without guests...almost 20 I might add, have nobody significant in their lives. At least not that I am aware of.
Ahh I read it wrong then...
neener1211
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i think you are right...i am basically doing the same thing...
TnOiOnL
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i am also doing this... its just TOO MUCH MONEY to spend on someone you will never see again possibly!
i agree with u 100%. a few friends have had issues with it, but 99% understand fully and say they dont blame us for doing this
BunnyBride
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I think it's fine! Your friends can stand to be alone for one night and they will have eachother of course! It's so rude to ask about bringing a guest if 'and guest' was not on the invite!
mycrayon1
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Posted by Future Mrs.
I also felt very strongly that I didn't want to turn my wedding into an evening event in which our single friends brought their 'flavor of the week'
It's funny you should say that b/c FH and I are trying to avoid the same thing! We are limited to 150 and with the FIL's getting 50, my mom with 65 we don't have many spaces.
I don't think it's tacky at all IMO I thinks it's perfectly ok to do. HTH
Espo22
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Well they just have to respect your decision...If i was single and didn't get invited with a guest, yes i will be honest it would probably stink. But your friends have to respect your wishes for a smaller and intimate wedding and respect your budget...Just explain it to them and hopefully they'll understand.
dplehat
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As long as your friends know at least one other person I don't see what the big deal is. Don't they know that weddings are a great place to meet people. And with 20 singles at your wedding there will be plenty of people to dance with. I think you did nothing wrong. For my siblings weddings friends that didn't have a SO chose not to go date shopping. They just came alone and everyone had a great time.
Future Mrs.
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ok....I think that this is what we will do....since invitations have already gone out.... new rule of thumb:
If someone doesn't know anyone a lot of other people, and is not in one of our cirles of friends, won't know anyone....I will call them and tell them that if they'd like, I would love for them to bring a guest but they should not feel pressured.
mskittynj
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My thoughts, HONEST.....I see your point! It's kinda stinky to walk around your wedding and not knwo half the people! On the other hand....If I was a single person, I would absolutely HATE to be alone and not bring my Boyfriend!!! If your single friends are dating someone (not a flavor of the week thing) more like they are seriously dating someone (in a relationship) then I think it's fair to let them bring their significant other! It's totally up to you though sweetie!!! XOXOXO Kitty
IlianaR
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Posted by MrsBartonToBe
i am also doing this... its just TOO MUCH MONEY to spend on someone you will never see again possibly!
i agree with u 100%. a few friends have had issues with it, but 99% understand fully and say they dont blame us for doing this
agreed
HamptonsBride
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One of my BF's did this for her wedding back in 1996 (yeah most of you were probably still in grammar school back then! haha)..we were all in our early 20's...those that had significant others were invited with a guest, and most of us being single, were invited alone. I had a GREAT time..all of us singles hung out & danced the night away...i danced with alot of my guy friends from HS...and in no way did we get mad at my friend for it...because we understood it freakin' costs money! good luck! PS...as a single at my brother's wedding I met a guy (not FH)...so tell them it's a chance to meet other singles!
thelastresort
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I'm just sucking it up and inviting everyone with guests.
I've been invited to weddings like that where the bride/groom had the same parameters you did and I kind of thought it was annoying. I think it's kind of hard to draw the line...my BM has been with her boyfriend for almost 6 years with no plans of getting engaged...I wouldn't even consider not inviting him. However, another one of my BM's just got engaged after dating for 1 year and I could stand to do without her FH!
But since you are having 20 singles, it should be okay. I just didn't like it b/c it was me and like 4 other singles. It made me feel left out of some of the 'coupley' parts.
