We wanted no more than 100 guests at our wedding, for several reasons. We have medium sized families, many friends, and sticking to that number was difficult. But we managed.
One of the things we did, in order to have everyone there who really need to see us get married, is invite singles without guests. with more than 20 singles, we felt that inviting them with guests would be another 20 people and we'd rather have people that are integral parts of our lives instead of strangers who may not be around forever. The rule of thumb for our single friends was that people were invited with a guest only if they were engaged, living together, or an engagement was iminent.
I also felt very strongly that I didn't want to turn my wedding into an evening event in which our single friends brought their 'flavor of the week'
SInce our invitations have gone out, we have had 3 single friends ask if they could bring a date b/c they wanted someone to dance with. I said NO. I politely told them that we have a limit of 100, and while we would say yes, if we could.....we simply cannot.
Is this tacky or rude? I don't think so but I'm feeling bad about it. I really feel strongly that I don't want people at my wedding whom I a- don't know b- are someones random date who they'd take to a nightclub (my wedding is a sacred event!) c- may never see again.
what are your thoughts on this? Please be honest.
Kathryn
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
Posted by Future Mrs.
We wanted no more than 100 guests at our wedding, for several reasons. We have medium sized families, many friends, and sticking to that number was difficult. But we managed.
One of the things we did, in order to have everyone there who really need to see us get married, is invite singles without guests. with more than 20 singles, we felt that inviting them with guests would be another 20 people and we'd rather have people that are integral parts of our lives instead of strangers who may not be around forever. The rule of thumb for our single friends was that people were invited with a guest only if they were engaged, living together, or an engagement was iminent.
I also felt very strongly that I didn't want to turn my wedding into an evening event in which our single friends brought their 'flavor of the week'
SInce our invitations have gone out, we have had 3 single friends ask if they could bring a date b/c they wanted someone to dance with. I said NO. I politely told them that we have a limit of 100, and while we would say yes, if we could.....we simply cannot.
Is this tacky or rude? I don't think so but I'm feeling bad about it. I really feel strongly that I don't want people at my wedding whom I a- don't know b- are someones random date who they'd take to a nightclub (my wedding is a sacred event!) c- may never see again.
what are your thoughts on this? Please be honest.
I agree with you 100% on all three of those options. Its your wedding, your day, your choice. Unfortunately, if your single friends cant respect that - they need to be told how you are feeling....so that they can understand. sometimes though they will not be able to understand until they are put in your position of having to see a # and stick to it...NOT EASY!!!!!
lucite
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
Posted by tonimike
your wedding your choice,,
ive been to quite a few weddings where i was not invited with a guest & it stunk.. so im not doing that ,,
Being single and dateless at a wedding is the worst. I am also allowing guest for single friends.
Espo22
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
Posted by lucite
Posted by tonimike
your wedding your choice,,
ive been to quite a few weddings where i was not invited with a guest & it stunk.. so im not doing that ,,
Being single and dateless at a wedding is the worst. I am also allowing guest for single friends.
I am also allowing guests for all single friends, but to each their own
KatenDrew
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
i am doing the same as you...unless you are engaged, living together or youve been dating for a long time and we know your significant other very well, you dont have a plus one.
We have limited space and as you metioned, I am not gonig to pay $100 for you to bring the girl your banging that week OR for someone to bring any old person cause they felt obligated since they were invited with a 'plus one.'
I think this is very common practice now and people are used to it. Most of my single guy friends are happy about this rule anyway, cause theres more of a chance of them meeting someone there.
Shannondon
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
We invited single people with guests and I have to tell you that I was pretty surprised when we got alot of responses back from people that have not dated in a long time that they were bringing guests! I mean, I have a friend who has not dated in years and and she responsed with a guest!.
I understand what you mean about all those extra people but just be aware that if you invite people with guests you have to take into consideration that they will bring someone!!! We were pretty surprised at some of the responses but I would not invite them without guests. IMO
Its your day
PegaLega
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
I dont think there is anything wrong with saying NO. Thats me-im sure people are going to be upset but we also did this to keep numbers down. Its your wedding and you are paying for people you love and care for who love and care for you to be at your wedding. That is what is important.
faithandkevin
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
I get annoyed when I think about some of FH's friends scrounging around for random dates that I won't even know. Especially when they ALL know each other for years and would be comfortable without a guest. But I do also feel that inviting them with a guest is the 'right' thing to do- for me anyway. I wouldn't like to be alone at a wedding, so I won't make anyone else be.
carolinebr
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
First of all - it is SO TACKY that people would call you to ask if they can bring a date. Incredibly inappropriate. That's a HUGE no no.
That being said...I was with an ex for 5 years. His roommate was getting married & my ex was in the wedding party. I wasn't invited because we didn't live together & we weren't engaged. I was really hurt especially since I knew the bride & groom very well. I actually cried over it. Everyone we knew was going & I felt so snubbed b/c we didn't meet the 'criteria' even though we were together longer than most co-habitating couples that were invited.
So, if its a BF or GF that you know exists, I would acknowledge them, even if they don't live together or aren't engaged.
JMO
Vicky423
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
Posted by aprlflwr
It is your wedding, you are entitled to do what you want. Maybe if you don't get as many 'yes' responses maybe you can make exceptions for your single guests.
thats what i'm doing, We also wanted a small wedding, no more than 120 guests.
MF9282
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
Its ur wedding u do whatever makes U and FH happy. No one else. I was invited to a wedding and they did not invite me with my Fh we were not engaged yet but he was not invited, in conclusion I did not attend, still sent a gift but did not go. All this costs sooo much money. Friends or even family who have a bf/gf that I know on a personal level and they have been dating for AWHILE not a month or 2 but A GOOD AMOUNT OF TIME I am inviting with a date. Otherwise no date, u never know who people may bring just for the sake of bringing some1.
Captsarkasm
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
I don't think its tacky....i'm going to do the same thing....BUT, if the person that asks to bring a guest is someone that I know does not know a lot of people there, I will probably let them bring a guest, just so they're more comfortable.....
ksl268
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
It's your wedding so what you say goes I'm only inviting guests with a date if they are older than 18.
cmrcmr0430
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You are so right! I look at it this way. You don't have a steady boyfriend that you have been with for more than 2 years, are engaged, or married...I will see you at my wedding alone...Tootsie! I am paying for your plate and I have more important people to invite at my wedding than some fly-by-the-night guy that you found at a club so you can have a DANCE PARTNER!! Sorry, I love you,...but NO!!
SoulMates422
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
I so agree with you. We are doing something similar for the same reasons
Jenn n Lance
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
I was just talking about this yesterday. It's not rude at all to set that limit. Honestly, I would never, ever ask a bride and groom if I could bring a guest to the wedding. We have big families and a large amount of friends, so we're having a hard time even keeping the list to 220
I'm also having so much angst over this! I've already had single friends say that they hope they find a date by then I really don't think thats fair! Engaged, married, or seriously dating for a matter of YEARS. I wouldn't expect anything other than that from a wedding that I was attending
Marchbride07
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Re: what is your opinion on this?
I understand your reasoning but I would like to be invited with a guest....even if I didn't bring one it would be nice to have that option...unless most of your friends know each other, then it's not a big deal because they are with their friends!
But I feel ya girl...there are some people I invited with a guest...and I have been telling them in subtle ways they don't have to bring one if they don't want because they are the type of people to just bring some random chick....or dude :)
