What It's Like to have a 15 month old Toddler

This is my weekly BabyCenter newsletter:


By now you probably know how powerless you can feel when your toddler decides to have a full-blown screaming fit in the middle of the produce section. It may be embarrassing, but rest assured that other parents feel your pain. Whatever you do, don't get angry. Losing your patience won't solve the problem and will only draw more attention to you. It also sends a message to your child that raising your voice is a good way to get a reaction. Instead, just take your child out of the store (even if it means leaving a cart full of food behind) and sit with him in the car or on a bench until he finishes crying. When the storm is over, your child will feel close to you and happy again, and will be over the feelings that had welled up into the outburst. You can also take some comfort in knowing that eventually your child will outgrow this behavior.

isn't toddlerdom such a great time?

has Paul started throwing tantrums yet?

Sounds like What Dr. Phil suggests, to leave the store even if you have a cart full of groceries.

I dont think the advice of leaving the store till they calm down is always going to work. (and they dont really care if we get or dont get the groceries anyway )

JA is just starting to verbalize in defending himself. When we tell him 'NO' if he goes and stands RIGHT in front of the TV lets say, he turns around, scrunches his eyes and babbles 'ahh dradnadaradra'...



We do the best we can mommies!

Anna - that is so cute.

While I agree with the don't get angry part, the whole idea of allowing a child to dictate your behavior (leaving a full cart of groceries and walking out of the store) sets a dangerous precedent. Children learn all too quickly that they can control what you do if everytime they behave badly you drop whatever you are doing to give them your complete attention.

Rather than leaving the store try taking them to a quiet corner and calming them down. Be firm, not angry. Let them know their behavior is unacceptable (even toddlers understand enough to get this point) and then continue your shopping. This works and your child doesn't get the idea that he or she is the boss. Set the boundaries early!!!

Wendy, I TOTALLY AGREE With everything you said, and I couldnt have said it better myself!

I think alot of these 'Discipline' books out there today, are giving wayyyyy too much power to the children. Like the say when the child is angry, or acting up, to talk it out, why are they angry? what would make them feel better, etc. I dont have a specific example in front of me, but as I read some of these books, the 'rules' are just soooo unrealistic to me! They'll be manipulating mommy and daddy in NO time!

Excellent points Wendy and Anna... I agree!

I also agree Wendy

The response to this is funny...I originally posted it b/c so many 'non-Moms' who visit this board often speak harshly about misbehaving children, and I wanted to post something that illustrated that sometimes, misbehaving is simply a phase that a child goes through, in order to develop their own independence. (Of course, how parents handle the phases are a whole other issue...but, I digress)

While I haven't put BabyCenter's suggested technique (leaving the store) into practice yet - (I haven't needed to, as Paul is not really a huge tantrum thrower in stores yet) - I don't know if I agree w/Wendy's suggestion either.

I do not think a toddler can understand what you mean when you say, 'your behavior is unacceptable' in a firm (not angry) voice. I'm sorry, but my son has really amazing comprehension - probably beyond his age - but, he cannot always understand 'tone' or 'inflection' and he will sometimes cry based on the tone of my voice - even if I am playing w/him OR just talking to my hubby. So, I do not think the 'reasoning in a quiet corner' technique is so infallable either. JMO.

I have heard Dr. Phil suggest leaving the store too, and I think there are instances when it can work - if you do it at the right time and you're willing to make the sacrifice of abandoning a cart of groceries that you spent (valuable) time gathering. I think if your child is demanding or whining that you buy something that is not on your list, than that is the right time to leave if they continue to carry on. Then you are showing them that they do not have the control or power to dictate what Mommy and Daddy spend money on. However, if they are simply just acting out b/c they are tired or hungry or bored than it's not so easy to leave b/c IMO, you are showing them that world will bend to their every whim.

What a perfect day to see this post. We went food shopping today. And Patrick felt the need to keep throwing things out of the cart. (Included the one little 'present' that he gets (a small bag of Irish Chocolate) Well, he threw it once & we put it back on the shelf. Then, the wailing began. He gave the I'm sorry hug. So, we fell for it. We got to the register & he decided that they bag had to go across the room again. That was the end of the candy. And guess what less then 30 seconds later the tears were gone. Toddlers get over things VERY quickly. There is no way I'm going to leave a store because of tears.

I think the people who suggest that are people who don't want to hear other peoples kids!!!

Claud you took my words too literally. Of course I don't expect a 15 month old to understand 'Your behavoir is unacceptable' in those words. Every parent has their own way of conveying to a 15 month old that what they are doing is wrong. That is what I meant. And saying it in a tone so that your child understands you mean business. The same way that you would if you child were doing something wrong at home. Sure it doesn't work all of the time but it's far better than walking out and leaving a cart full of groceries.


Edited to add: My opinion of Dr. Phil's advice in most situations is not printable here, but suffice it to say that I have a very jaded view. This is based on first hand knowledge of the people he supposedly 'helps' on his show!!!!

I thought I took what you said at face value, Wendy. Sorry if I misinterpreted but I just think that even trying to 'reason' with a 15 month old is very difficult. Like now, for example. When we tell Paul 'No!' in a firm voice, it sends him into a fit of crying - which is the opposite goal of the 'reasoning' - know what I mean?

Claud-when I read Wendy's response, I took it as relevant to 'older children' (older than 3 lets say), definately not Paul's age.