OK, so I have a friend that I used to work with, he is older, married and has 2 teenage children. His daughter is a great kid, great student, works part-time, just an all around good kid. His son got left back last year and is now repeating 10th grade. He is very disrespectful, has been diagnosed with ADD within the past few months, and has been going to see a psychologist. He has been taking Ritalin (sp?) for about 4 months. Although he does not realize that he is being drug tested, he recently tested positive for marijuana. His parents went into the city a week ago without him and his father set up a videocamera to 'spy' on the kid. He had his friends over and they raided the liquor cabinet, the kid found the fathers gun, loaded it and him and his friends were 'playing' with it in the backyard. My friend has not approached his son about any of this yet. His wife 'doesn't have time' to watch the video, so doesnt know about the gun incident, and my friend doesnt want to tell her. I just want to shake him and tell him to do something before it's to late. I just dont understand how you don't address this IMMEDIATELY. He is worried about his sons reaction, and wants to wait to speak with the kids psychologist in a week..
I can't stop thinking about this. I'm so frustrated!!!!!
lullabella
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
WOW, First things FIRST I hope he was smart enough to remove the gun from the home. Also, why wasn't it locked up to begin with. People ARE SO CARELESS!!!!!
divabride
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
First and foremost, he needs to get rid of that gun!!!!
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
Posted by lullabella
WOW, First things FIRST I hope he was smart enough to remove the gun from the home. Also, why wasn't it locked up to begin with. People ARE SO CARELESS!!!!!
I couldn't agree MORE . And yes, the gun has been removed.
Irishbride
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
I would be freaking out now if I was the Dad. His wife doesn't have the time!!! And the Dad doesn't want to tell her. I hope he has taken the gun out of their home. I would tell him to tell his wife asap & call the psychologist right away to find out how he should handle this.
Janice
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
I am at a loss for words...just hearing this story makes me want to have an intervention with this kid...how could the dad watch and not do anything about it immediately?
i seriously would look into a military school and go that route..if his wife is MIA, and he is not going to do it..someone needs to change this kid's life
Calla
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
Posted by The Original 2nd-time-around
I just want to shake him and tell him to do something before it's to late. I just dont understand how you don't address this IMMEDIATELY. He is worried about his sons reaction, and wants to wait to speak with the kids psychologist in a week..
I can't stop thinking about this. I'm so frustrated!!!!!
I'm with you. If he thinks he absolutely has to speak with the psychologist first, he should be in that office TODAY, not in a week!
marymoon
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
you have to tell him that he ahs to do something. If he doesn't, you may ahve to call child protective services. You may lose your friend, but you may save a life, and just think of what could happen if this doesn't stop.
Parents are in a lot of denail about their kids to begin with, and of course he doens't think his son or firneds would kill anyone..BUT, mix in aldohol and marijuana and you don't know what's going to happen. it's a sceintific fact that teengage brains are not fully formed and can have wacky reactions to certain drugs, especially if he's mixing ritalin with other stuff. They give out ritalin like candy, but it is a serious drug that can have amphetamine effects. I used to take ritalin and I think I had mixed it with the wrong other prescription drug and I remember having a SERIOUS freak out on it, shaking, cold sweat and I thought people were always calling my name.It was weird paranoia. I was 16, and I didn't know how to deal with it. Fortunately I had the sense to just stop taking itm but if there are other other drugs in this mix, this kid probably can;t think straight..it may not even be his fault..ADD can be ver y disabling, but to eff it up with more drugs.,.
Anyway, sorry for the tangent Somethng HAS to be done. if the dad doens;t do anything, you HAVE to call CPS. it could save the child's life.
bluegrl24ny
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
Wait, his wife KNOWS what on that video and she STILL says she doesn't have time for her troubled son to do something about it!?!?!?!?.... I agree with marymoon that child protective services should be called. Just reading about that unsupervised weekend gave me the chills - thank GOD none of those kids were hurt!!!! So sorry to hear this, this kid obviously needs some kind of help, and his parents need to take responsibility and do what's best for thir child right now - regardless of how the kid feels about it!
marymoon
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
if the mom ahs no time for him, the dad can't just sit her down and tell her to watch or tell her what happenned and he's waiting a week to see the psychologist, I don't think they can handle this kid. I think they need help. CPS isn't always about the parents being bad, it's sometimes about the kid being out of control and parents needing extra help.
The Original 2nd-time-around
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
Posted by bluegrl24ny
Wait, his wife KNOWS what on that video and she STILL says she doesn't have time for her troubled son to do something about it!?!?!?!?.... I agree with marymoon that child protective services should be called. Just reading about that unsupervised weekend gave me the chills - thank GOD none of those kids were hurt!!!! So sorry to hear this, this kid obviously needs some kind of help, and his parents need to take responsibility and do what's best for thir child right now - regardless of how the kid feels about it!
She doesn't know whats on the video because she's 'too busy' to WATCH IT!!! I swear as I heard this nightmare today I just wasnted to slap him and yell 'what the HELL is wrong with you'?!
mrswask
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
Even if you're bluffing - it sounds like you have to SCARE this dad into doing something!!! Tell him if he doesn't do something, you will - and that something will be calling CPS. I'm a guidance counselor and I can tell you if I heard this in school, and KNEW that nothing was being done about it - I would legally HAVE to call CPS!!!
prncssrachel
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Re: What kind of advice do I give??? LONG
It sounds like, to me, that the parents have relinquished their control over their son. You need to tell him that his son can certainly sense his apprehensiveness, and is probably taking advantage of it, and that if he REALLY wants to help his son, then he needs to get on the phone with his psychologist NOW, not in a week, NOW. This kid is OBVIOUSLY making poor choices, and it is up to your friend and his wife to watch him like a hawk to make sure he is not able to make these poor choices. They obviously need to be ontop of him and know where he's been and what he's been doing. What I don't get is how someone sets up a camcorder in their own house to figure out what their child is doing. That takes more effort than talking to him to begin with. These people are not equipped to deal with their own son, but they need to actually DEAL with the situation and soon.
