MY famliy does not want me to marry the man I am with and the wedding is next year. feel like I should be happy but how can I. My mom has done every thing in her power to stop the wedding and threatens to completely destroy my day and my brother and sister and helping her. my boyfriend threatens that he will leave the wedding if they are there what should I do postpone the wedding and lose someone that i love or go ahead without the blessing of my family.
cds58019
Posted:
Member since
Re: what should I do
You don't really say the reasonin behind your family's feelings, but whatever they are, I think you need to sit down and really think about whats more important to you. Maybe it's something that can be fixed but if not then you need to take a step back and re-evaluate the whole situation. Good luck!
luvabul
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Member since
Re: what should I do
definately re-evaluate the situation. Are you willing to cut all ties and upset your parents ? Do you think u can handle juggling between fiances feelings and your families? WHat about holidays. thanksgiving, christmas etc Do they not wish to invite the both of you? Ultimately if this battle contines it could lead to a serious wedge. Ive seen it happen to one of my friends. Since i dont know the clear reason behind why they dont like FH, all i can say is u can have a long clear talk to them about all the good things u like about him and why you want to marry him. This sounds more like a choice...parents or FH...that can be really hard, think its best u should take a step back, and as far as FH not even wanting them on ur wedding day, i mean they can be there even if theyre not content with the decision ur making, ultimately they are ur FAMILY...so FH should respect that.
anyways, i really hope everything works out, update us,
rojerono
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Re: what should I do
It is hard to give advice without knowing if your family is justified (example - he is a convicted felon who has beaten you up on numerous occassions) or if they are completely off the wall (example: he is Irish and they just hate ALL Irish people.).
Can you elaborate on WHY they are so hell bent on stopping the wedding? Is there any hope at all of reconciling your family and your fiancee?
Regardless this can't be easy for you and you are in my thoughts!
Kara and Todd
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Member since
Re: what should I do
Posted by rojerono
It is hard to give advice without knowing if your family is justified (example - he is a convicted felon who has beaten you up on numerous occassions) or if they are completely off the wall (example: he is Irish and they just hate ALL Irish people.).
Can you elaborate on WHY they are so hell bent on stopping the wedding? Is there any hope at all of reconciling your family and your fiancee?
Regardless this can't be easy for you and you are in my thoughts!
Exactly. I think we need to know WHY your family feels the way they do before anyone can offer any advice on the situation.
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, though. I agree with the above posters that it's time to take a step back and reevaluate...
hayleyandsteve
Posted:
Member since
Re: what should I do
Posted by Kara and Todd
Posted by rojerono
It is hard to give advice without knowing if your family is justified (example - he is a convicted felon who has beaten you up on numerous occassions) or if they are completely off the wall (example: he is Irish and they just hate ALL Irish people.).
Can you elaborate on WHY they are so hell bent on stopping the wedding? Is there any hope at all of reconciling your family and your fiancee?
Regardless this can't be easy for you and you are in my thoughts!
Exactly. I think we need to know WHY your family feels the way they do before anyone can offer any advice on the situation.
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, though. I agree with the above posters that it's time to take a step back and reevaluate...
agreed. i think we'd all love to give you advice.... but its hard to do that without knowing the situation. like rojerono said, we dont want to defend your fiance if he's been physically or verbally abusive...
we all want to help!
JIFFY
Posted:
Member since
Re: what should I do
Posted by hayleyandsteve
Posted by Kara and Todd
Posted by rojerono
It is hard to give advice without knowing if your family is justified (example - he is a convicted felon who has beaten you up on numerous occassions) or if they are completely off the wall (example: he is Irish and they just hate ALL Irish people.).
Can you elaborate on WHY they are so hell bent on stopping the wedding? Is there any hope at all of reconciling your family and your fiancee?
Regardless this can't be easy for you and you are in my thoughts!
Exactly. I think we need to know WHY your family feels the way they do before anyone can offer any advice on the situation.
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, though. I agree with the above posters that it's time to take a step back and reevaluate...
agreed. i think we'd all love to give you advice.... but its hard to do that without knowing the situation. like rojerono said, we dont want to defend your fiance if he's been physically or verbally abusive...
we all want to help!
I was just going to say the same thing. I think you must elaborate. Is it bc your Italian and he's Puerto Rican? That's just silly.
EGreene79
Posted:
Member since
Re: what should I do
I agree with the sentiments above. Regardless, you need to sit down with your parents and discuss why they have such a problem with him. Really listen to what they're saying, because maybe there is a valid reason and they're looking out for your best interests.
I have a friend going through this with his brother right now. The brother's wife cheated on him a MONTH after the wedding, and said she had feelings for this other guy. Now the brother wants to go back to her because he loves her, but the rest of the family knows she has problems and this one incident won't be the end of it. The whole family is so frustrated because they can see that this girl will just cause him a life of misery, but he doesn't want to hear that now. Luckily he's been going to counseling, and both his counselor and PRIEST!!! told him he has to get out of this marriage. Maybe you should see a counselor as well and really talk out what is going on.
causeimb
Posted:
Member since
Re: what should I do
Yeah there has to be more to the story. They dont just hate him for no reason. But you are grown and able to make your own decisions. You have to do what's right for you and if your family is justified in disliking him so strongly then you probably know why. Im sure your family loves you and only wants you to be happy. Sometimes people who arent in the box can see things that those inside cant.
Trishthedish
Posted:
Member since
Re: what should I do
Posted by Kara and Todd
Posted by rojerono
It is hard to give advice without knowing if your family is justified (example - he is a convicted felon who has beaten you up on numerous occassions) or if they are completely off the wall (example: he is Irish and they just hate ALL Irish people.).
Can you elaborate on WHY they are so hell bent on stopping the wedding? Is there any hope at all of reconciling your family and your fiancee?
Regardless this can't be easy for you and you are in my thoughts!
Exactly. I think we need to know WHY your family feels the way they do before anyone can offer any advice on the situation.
I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time, though. I agree with the above posters that it's time to take a step back and reevaluate...
I agree with this also.
I also went through a similar situation but I do not know your families reasons.
I had dated a guy who just wasn't good for me and I thank God everyday I got away from him,not that he beat me but he was into drugs and that wasn't me. For 6 years I dealt with this and my mom would cry a lot and i would be torn. They told me if I ever married him they would write me out of the will.
Now that I am out of the relationship, I can see why my family felt the way they did and I am grateful for it.
Try to take a step back and re-evaluate the situation. I know it is harder when you are in a situation but just try to look at it from the outside.
HTH!!
1nicetouch
Posted:
Member since
Re: what should I do
Hold on now hes never laid a finger on me and im a hard person to get along with. the only person who has a problem with my man is my mother. and the truth is she dont like no man. At first she loved him its just when we started living together she felt as he wasnt good enough for me. because I worked alot and he worked too he's a good provider and good man. then she said that he's to hard on my son. and she didnt want my son around him. hes never laid a finger on my son. trust me i would kill him if he did. this is were the problems started because i think it hurt my man that she felt this way and she express it alot. she took me to court for visitation rights after we had a big fight about it . thats why my man hates her now this thing has been blown out of porpotion. thank you for all your responses but as hurtful as it will be i will get married to my man if my mom comes or not. we have been together for a long time 3+ years and even thought sometimes we have problems we always work through them and he has never hit me,he doesnt do drugs,and he has always provided for me and my son. and my mother knows that.She just feels Im not ready for a commited relationship and shes wants to get her way but not this time. ladies she is something like new yorks mother from flavor of love once her mind is made up about someone it stays that way.so its really no use trying to talk it out with her. I just can only follow my heart and ask god to watch over me
