So now we're in this totally different financial situation. My mom may be losing the house, because htere's just no money (mmany of you know why)...So I'm supposed to be having this big wedding next year, but I just can't see affording it since I actually have to get a FT job and push school to the backburner, it's that bad, and we're taking on a lot more $$ responsibility that my parents once had...so I just don't see how we can afford to get married next year, and I also sort of don't feel like planning a wedding at the moment because of everything that's going on.
I think it's stupid though to not marry my wonderful FH. I mean, how long can I put it off? We already planned a 3 year engagement to save $$. So I was thinking maybe on Dec 16, 06 (our planned wedding date) we can just have our wedding ceremony in church or whatever, and then a year later, Dec 16 07 have a renewal and have the white dress and the reception then.
FH says that people won't come if it's a 'renewal', and they'll think we're just doing it for gifts (which is ridiculous because you always spend way more on the wedding than you get back)...
Also, I figured we'd just have a small wedding in church for the first one, so it would be recognized by the church and the state, and ahve the big interfaith thing in 07. I figured it'll just be close relatives and so they won't care where it is..but FH is arguing that too, he said we should have it at historical chapel and have a priest and a rabbi, and like that's a HUGE expense and a huge deal...I don't know...it's just frustrating. I figure as long as we're having 2 wedding, why can't one be in a church? I know I'm probably being selfish, but right now I'm at a time when I feel like EVERYTHING's being taken away from me.
Please answer the poll, and maybe say a little bit about why you answered the wya you did, like if you would still want to come to a big wedding if you knew it was only a renewal, etc..
MrsK-in-June05
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Re: What should I do? re: postponing wedding?
I had a small wedding instead of a big wedding and it was the best decision ever. Having a wedding is not supposed to be about worrying how much you get back. I got checks for insane amounts of money which I still think is ridiculous. I also had ppl come that I never received a gift from. The whole point of it is that you love your FH and want to get married. 10 years from now, I guarantee that no one will remember your DJ or your color scheme. Don't go futher into debt and waste money that you don't have. You know I love ya and by now you know that I am honest and rarely sugar coat things.
swags1016
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Re: What should I do? re: postponing wedding?
Jen you have to do what is right for you and your FH. But don't let money stop you from getting married!
akaMrsT
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Re: What should I do? re: postponing wedding?
Posted by marymoon
So now we're in this totally different financial situation. My mom may be losing the house, because htere's just no money (mmany of you know why)...So I'm supposed to be having this big wedding next year, but I just can't see affording it since I actually have to get a FT job and push school to the backburner, it's that bad, and we're taking on a lot more $$ responsibility that my parents once had...so I just don't see how we can afford to get married next year, and I also sort of don't feel like planning a wedding at the moment because of everything that's going on.
I think it's stupid though to not marry my wonderful FH. I mean, how long can I put it off? We already planned a 3 year engagement to save $$. So I was thinking maybe on Dec 16, 06 (our planned wedding date) we can just have our wedding ceremony in church or whatever, and then a year later, Dec 16 07 have a renewal and have the white dress and the reception then.
FH says that people won't come if it's a 'renewal', and they'll think we're just doing it for gifts (which is ridiculous because you always spend way more on the wedding than you get back)...
Also, I figured we'd just have a small wedding in church for the first one, so it would be recognized by the church and the state, and ahve the big interfaith thing in 07. I figured it'll just be close relatives and so they won't care where it is..but FH is arguing that too, he said we should have it at historical chapel and have a priest and a rabbi, and like that's a HUGE expense and a huge deal...I don't know...it's just frustrating. I figure as long as we're having 2 wedding, why can't one be in a church? I know I'm probably being selfish, but right now I'm at a time when I feel like EVERYTHING's being taken away from me.
Please answer the poll, and maybe say a little bit about why you answered the wya you did, like if you would still want to come to a big wedding if you knew it was only a renewal, etc..
Hey Jen,
Just got around to reading this after spending the weekend in VA with no computer.
Sorry to hear about your financial hardship. I voted for other. I think you should go pick out a dress and as soon as it's in (if not off the rack) you & Doug should have a small ceremony in a church or go to City Hall with a few close friends/family.
My explanation - I think the most important thing is that you and Doug get married. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to any of us and there is really no reason to spend $20K - $60K on a wedding if it will put you into debt.
I spent this past weekend in VA looking at catering halls and all sorts of other sites that allow caterers. I guess I'm inherently cheap or something since we already have the $25K wedding money in a separate account and I got my tax refund this week too which can pay for FI's idea - a week in Turtle Island? I just don't want to spend so much on one day. Granted, it is our wedding day but at the end of the day whether you and Doug spend $500 or $500K you will still be married.
You can always revisit the idea of a renewal once you and Doug are financially able to do that - assuming you still want to years down the road. I attended a renewal for a couple that had been married for 25 years at city hall.
Sassyz75
Posted:
Member since
Re: What should I do? re: postponing wedding?
i would just get married in a small civil ceremony now and keep the whole thing under wraps until you can have your big white dress wedding in 2007... Why postpone the marriage.. the wedding is just one day?
I think of all the hard times my DH and I have been through and it's been OK b/c we've been together... maybe you and FH getting married will give you that extra strength that you are going to need through these hard times?
Butterflybride
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Re: What should I do? re: postponing wedding?
Posted by emilain
the BEST wedding I EVER went to was in Jamaica. My DH's bestfriend invited a bunch of close family members and friends and we all went down and had A BALL!!! It was very simple, although the bride worse a wedding gown, they did the ceremony on a cliff, had the small recption under a hay bungalow, it was the best!! I wish I could do my HUGE wedding over and do what they did, plus it only cost them $3,000 for EVERYTHING (photographer, music, food, flowers, etc)!!! When we all left they stayed an extra 5 days for their honeymoon. Could this be an idea for you!?
I think that's a great idea! It's very personal and romantic and it's still very beautiful. That and it's unique.
