What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

HamptonsBride Posted: Jul 05, 2007 09:48 PM

What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

So yes, i am one of 'those' people who is keeping their name...(DH is fine with that, he actually suggested it...) haha

He keeps calling me Mrs. MaidenName...and i am like...stop! I feel like you are calling me my Mom! haha

Sooo...my questions is...am I now Mrs. Kathryn MaidenName or do i go by just Ms. Kathryn MaidenName..i want people to know I am married...but what the heck is the protocall?

If i use Mrs. MaidenName, they will assume i am married to a Mr. MaidenName, right?

I ask because i have to RSVP to a wedding...they addressed it to Mr & Mrs DHsName....i was gonna just reply that way...but kind of want people to know...hey...i kept my name darn it!

Anyone know??? TIA!

ETA: here's what i have found

Miss is used for an unmarried woman.

Mrs., with her husband's full name (if known), is used for a married woman or a widow; if a divorcée retains her married name, use Mrs. plus her own name, not her husband's.

Ms. is used in any of the above cases if the woman prefers it; it's also used if you do not know the woman's marital status or if you're addressing a divorcée who has resumed her maiden name.

PegaLega Posted: Jul 05, 2007 09:49 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

I think you go by Mrs. Maiden Name but Im not sure

jaiese Posted: Jul 05, 2007 09:52 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

This is tricky. I think you're right that if you use Mrs. and your maiden name (maiden name is a funny term, I'm just realizing!) they'll think DH's last name is your maiden name. I don't really have an answer though.

jaiese Posted: Jul 05, 2007 09:52 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

Have you checked the Knot.com? They seem to have answers to a lot of these questions.

HamptonsBride Posted: Jul 05, 2007 09:54 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

Posted by jaiese

Have you checked the Knot.com? They seem to have answers to a lot of these questions.

I have not checked the Knot...haha...but i was able to find all this info about divorced women & their proper addressing when i had to do invites...the search will continue...THANKS!

jaiese Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:04 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

Posted by HamptonsBride

Posted by jaiese

Have you checked the Knot.com? They seem to have answers to a lot of these questions.

I have not checked the Knot...haha...but i was able to find all this info about divorced women & their proper addressing when i had to do invites...the search will continue...THANKS!

ooh! What did you find out about divorced women? That info could come in handy for my invites!

diva7531 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:05 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

I think it is Mrs. Maiden name, you are married=mrs + kept your name=maiden = Mrs maidenname, good luck

portjeffbride Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:06 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

you can be either.... Mrs. or Ms.... but I believe most people use Mrs. (and use Ms. if they are divorced or single).

I'm the same as you, keeping my maiden name, and DH suggested it.... but since I'm a Dr., nothing has changed in my title, so it's like I'm still single

Pencils Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:19 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

You're Ms Maidenname.

I'm the same. Although my husband keeps calling me Mrs Hisname. (He's joking.)

Pencils Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:20 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

I don't think I've ever heard anyone call themselves 'Mrs Maidenname.' That's odd. It's Ms.

Posted by portjeffbride
you can be either.... Mrs. or Ms.... but I believe most people use Mrs. (and use Ms. if they are divorced or single).
I'm the same as you, keeping my maiden name, and DH suggested it.... but since I'm a Dr., nothing has changed in my title, so it's like I'm still single

JIFFY Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:23 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

At the hall when we got our marriage licence they asked if I was taking his name and I said yes. I haven't changed anything and I don't plan on it. If people want to call me Mrs. Smith then they can and I'll answer but for everything else i'm still D----

HamptonsBride Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:24 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

Posted by portjeffbride

you can be either.... Mrs. or Ms.... but I believe most people use Mrs. (and use Ms. if they are divorced or single).

I'm the same as you, keeping my maiden name, and DH suggested it.... but since I'm a Dr., nothing has changed in my title, so it's like I'm still single

i guess i could always get my PhD and then at least my title will change!! hahaha...way to go by the way DR!!!!

jax1023 Posted: Jul 05, 2007 10:26 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

I'm not changing my name either.

Techincall you are still Ms. Maidenname. Mrs. Maidenname is your mother. There really isnt a way to communicate that you are married.

vintagegirl Posted: Jul 05, 2007 11:41 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

I am keeping my name.. friends and family call me by my fiance's last name.. at work i am called by my maiden name

vintagegirl Posted: Jul 05, 2007 11:41 PM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

yeah you use a ms. in front of it for work purposes..

erdbeere Posted: Jul 06, 2007 02:52 AM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

i'm int he same boat as you... I don't really wanna be called Ms. though... don't like that.

poogie Posted: Jul 06, 2007 07:33 AM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

The saga's we face

I am not changing my name either and my boo is very much okay with that. I am actully Mrs. Andrea Maiden Name-Married Name. I want to keep my maiden name and that is what I will use for everything. I am going to use the two names in some places but the one name in others. My boo is fine with that. The wedding bands explain enough as far as I am concerned.

BoxOfRocks Posted: Jul 06, 2007 07:40 AM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

You're Ms Maidenname.

This is correct. You are not Mrs. MaidenName.

A gentleman who posts on The Knot forums says that in formal correspondence, the use of 'and' or an ampersand (&) signifies that a couple is married.

So 'Mr. HisFirstName HisLast Name and (or &) Ms. YourFirstName YourLastName' means you are married. For space reasons, your name may have to go on a second line.

Cpt2007 Posted: Jul 06, 2007 08:01 AM

Re: What the heck am i called now? (not changing name )

I believe the proper thing to do is to use 'Ms. Maiden name.' I'm pretty sure the use of 'Mrs.' is restricted to the actual married name. I bet this is in the Chicago Manual of Style...I have no idea where my copy is though!