what to do when FH says...

That the wedding is too much money for one day and he doesnt want to have the big wedding anymore? This is after all the hard work I have put in budgeting like crazy? I could really hurt him right now!!

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Posted by WishfulRinne

That the wedding is too much money for one day and he doesnt want to have the big wedding anymore? This is after all the hard work I have put in budgeting like crazy? I could really hurt him right now!!

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Oh boy!! MEN!!!... Tell him...Its too late for that honey....j/k. Seriously, I keep hearing this more and more from others that are engaged and about to be married. It's a hard time to be paying for a wedding right now, it really is. Especially, if you and FH are paying for the wedding on your own, IMO it's even more stressful. Keep talking to him about the significance of this day and that it is important. Set a budget that you're both more comfortable with. If you already have a budget maybe sit down and reconfigure your budget and make it even less. If you havent booked all your vendors already maybe cut costs in the areas you have left to book. This may make him feel better, to know that you are listening to him and his feelings as well.

too late, suck it up and take it like a man

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Posted by littlepixie12

beat him!!! lol ... tell him you cant cancel the contracts for the vendors but maybe cut down on the guest list ... thats where most of the money will go anyway

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i agree

Its hard becuase my FH said the same thing. I have calm down a bit with the planning but I can convince him easily.. I'm just overwhelm myself. It will work out!!

I know in the end it will be worth it but if we dont have the $ to pay then what can I do? How are you guys paying for the wedding. I really dont want to take out a loan. I have too many from school anyway. We arent getting any help from parents...its just us.

Give him the time and the date and tell him to shut up and show up. LOL TOTALLY j/k! That's very frustrating that, after all the planning, FH says he might not want to go through with the big wedding. I can see how that would be upsetting. But, the fact is that, if you don't have the funds to pay for this then maybe he's right. Maybe you can push it back? Cut the guest list? I know this is difficult. I hope you can both sit down and figure out a way to make this work that won't leave you both penniless for years to come.

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Posted by WishfulRinne

I know in the end it will be worth it but if we dont have the $ to pay then what can I do? How are you guys paying for the wedding. I really dont want to take out a loan. I have too many from school anyway. We arent getting any help from parents...its just us.

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Have you guys considered pushing it back a year? You wont lose any deposits that way and you will have an extra year to pay everything off so it won't seem to overwhelming

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Posted by WishfulRinne

I know in the end it will be worth it but if we dont have the $ to pay then what can I do? How are you guys paying for the wedding. I really dont want to take out a loan. I have too many from school anyway. We arent getting any help from parents...its just us.

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The first thing I did was ask myself how much can we afford to put aside to save for the weathing and times by how many months I have left. That gave me ballpark of where I should be at budget wise.

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Posted by gporka23

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Posted by WishfulRinne

I know in the end it will be worth it but if we dont have the $ to pay then what can I do? How are you guys paying for the wedding. I really dont want to take out a loan. I have too many from school anyway. We arent getting any help from parents...its just us.

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Have you guys considered pushing it back a year? You wont lose any deposits that way and you will have an extra year to pay everything off so it won't seem to overwhelming

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I agree also maybe months back Nov -Dec '09. You maybe able to get a low rate at your RH since most of your budget goes to the RH. July is peak season for vendors.

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Posted by WishfulRinne

I have more than 1/2 of the RH money saved. That will stay untouched. Its all the extras that I am afraid of. I know they say to save an equal amount for the extras as you do for the RH but I just cant afford that.

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Can some of your vendors like for example photo and video can you pay them the final balance after the wedding when your receive the final product. You can cut money by doing candle centerpieces and just getting bouquets for you and the bridal party.

Have you considered postponing until later in the year or the following year when you will save up the money necessary to pay the full wedding? It doesnt make sense for anyone to go into debt for a wedding. Set a realistic budget that you both can afford and willing to pay.

It really is only one day in a lifetime of marriage and happiness and should not be started off stressed and arguing over costs especially in this economy.

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Posted by WishfulRinne

I have more than 1/2 of the RH money saved. That will stay untouched. Its all the extras that I am afraid of. I know they say to save an equal amount for the extras as you do for the RH but I just cant afford that.

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i would try to save anyway u can..have a friend do ur own hair n make up..no flowers,candle cps get ur bo-k but maybe bp hold something else liek a candle..no dj play it off an i pod(u can have exactly what music u want)no video just have 2 friends tape everything for u..even no limos get a big coach bus..i know we all want all the fancy things but bottom line is u will be getting married and nobody will careif u have a dj videographer or anythign else all they will see is how beautiful the two of u look and how u will begin this great life together..hth and good luck to u

Kick him!!!!

That is my solution to everything

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Posted by gina409

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Posted by WishfulRinne

I have more than 1/2 of the RH money saved. That will stay untouched. Its all the extras that I am afraid of. I know they say to save an equal amount for the extras as you do for the RH but I just cant afford that.

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i would try to save anyway u can..have a friend do ur own hair n make up..no flowers,candle cps get ur bo-k but maybe bp hold something else liek a candle..no dj play it off an i pod(u can have exactly what music u want)no video just have 2 friends tape everything for u..even no limos get a big coach bus..i know we all want all the fancy things but bottom line is u will be getting married and nobody will careif u have a dj videographer or anythign else all they will see is how beautiful the two of u look and how u will begin this great life together..hth and good luck to u

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Maybe you can get a DJ company that can be the MC and DJ. That will save money also