What to do with this girl?

Okay, I have a friend who I continually try to remove from my life but keeps sneaking back in here and there. Long story short, I originally asked her to be in my bridal party, but she was acting like a real 'female dog' (making constant snotty remarks about how married people are boring, have nothing going for them, etc). It finally escalated to the point where I asked her to step down (since clearly she showed no support of the marriage, etc.). After awhile, she guilted me to let her back in. Not more than a week after the wedding, I hear all kinds of garbage from her about my 'white trash brother' wearing a ponytail to my wedding, how my niece is this and that, and made up a TON of lies about my family, to the point where I had a major confrontation with my SIL. Anyway, I cut off the relationship immediately with her. She emails me several months later, looking for a reconciliation. Feeling bad, I let her back into my life, only to have her become totally clingy, needy and demanding of every minute of my free time. I was just married, in the process of renovating my entire home (from the ground up literally), working two jobs and I would get daily calls from this chick about how I would never make any 'time' for her and what a bad friend I was. Being under such incredible financial/personal stress, I finally had enough and told her she was just too high maintenance for me and to stop bothering me. About a year later, she sends me another email about how her childhood friend committed suicide and how she needed me, since we were mutual friends with this person. Stupid me, I reopen the door to the friendship, however this time, she seemed more preoccupied and had her own life going on, so the contact was sporatic and casual.

Fast forward to current day. She recently moved about two exits from my home. She has started upping her communication to me since she moved, because after all, we're that much closer in terms of geography. Anyway, she continually makes digs in my direction about me not having a degree and she does, blah, blah, blah. I let it roll because with all her scholastic accomplishments, she still remains shallow and ignorant. The latest conversation I had with her, she was complaining about how she can't find the 'right' guy, how this one is not on the same career path as her, how this one is 'fat' (meanwhile, she weighs somewhere over 200lbs, but she 'claims' she wears a size 12) and she won't date a fat man, this one doesn't have a degree, etc. Then she started to point out to me that I always seemed to have luck finding men, but that's because I didn't date anyone who had a degree and I must have not minded because I didn't have one myself. I didn't know what to say to that one. Then she points out how perfect my husband is; funny, hard working, good looking, etc. and complains how I get all the good ones. So I tell her, despite how 'perfect' she thinks my husband is, she should walk a day in my shoes with him. Everyone has issues. It's like she doesn't even hear me and says 'Well, I know we'd be perfect together!'. So I point out that my husband doesn't have a degree either and that seems high on her list! She is like 'That doesn't matter, I know we would work because we have chemistry together!'. I was floored and exited the phone immediately. Now I don't know how to answer her next communication, short of telling her to F off. Plus, we hang out in the same group of friends, which is the primary motivation I've had to let her re-enter my life in previous occasions. My husband thinks she's a good friend of ours, but I don't know how to tell him about this latest round of crap from her. What did she expect me to say to her 'Gee, I feel SO bad that you're so shallow and self-absorbed that you can't find a man. Here, have mine. What are friends for?!?' WTF?!?

Suggestions?

Re: What to do with this girl?

I had to ask my son to pick my mouth up off the floor!!! I would tell your husband but of course be laughing when you do it! (My Aunt actually told me after Thanksgiving how she can see my FI w/ my SISTER!!! We had a great laugh about that one!! ( My Fi thinks my Aunt is just plain batty) I would talk to one of your friends in the clique & ask her what she thinks your friend meant by this! Or maybe confront her yourself. Meanwhile feel flattered that someone thinks your husband is that great!
I hope my rambling helped!

Re: What to do with this girl?

GET RID OF HER IMMEDIATLY....I have had friends in the past who were like that...always so self absorbed... i would just not take her calls, get caller id if you have to and set up your annoynmous call blocker and just avoid her.. shell get the hint..if you keep opening the door you will keep setting yourself up for disapointement from this woman...if you see her in your circle of friends just tell her you have been busy with your house and leave it at that...The breaking point for me would have been the comment about my husband, i cant belive she would say that to you..sorry that you have to deal with this!

Re: What to do with this girl?

Don't return her phone calls or emails. If you have caller ID, don't pick up the phone when she calls. Tell your DH that she makes you uncomfortable and miserable and that you choose not to pal around with her anymore. That should be enough for him.

This girl sounds like a nightmare, but she can't really weasel her way into your life unless you let her. You don't owe her any explanation, especially after the chemistry remark, which is totally asinine

Good luck removing this person from your life! Keep us posted.

Re: What to do with this girl?

You cut her out a few times - for a reason! It's time to let go - circle of friends or not! She is obviously not a friend to you......

Re: What to do with this girl?

You have to feel sorry for the girl, she's so insecure! But that's still no reason for you to be unhappy w/the friendship. I would end the relationship, not respond to her emails and if she should call and you answer the phone, tell her you're very busy and were just walking out the door.

However, I wouldn't say anything you'll regret to her or your other friends. It will come back to haunt you. I would just put an end to the it. Why waster anymore of your time?!

Re: What to do with this girl?

OMG!!!! What a psycho! I agree with the other girls.... get rid of her-NOW!

also, why make excuses about how your husband isn't perfect when she goes on and on about how the two of them would be perfect for eachother! I would have just said, 'yes, he is perfect isn't he. He did pick me now didn't he? We are so happy to be married.'

best of luck to you.

Kelly

Re: What to do with this girl?

Stay away from her !! It sounds like you are WAY too good of a friend for someone like her, she doesnt realize it or appreciate it. She's psycho. Shes trying to push your buttons, and dont let her get to you. Smile and enjoy the beautiful life and husband you have (and she doesnt !! HAH).
She is obviously very jealous of you and your happiness. and It sounds like you would have made her part of your happy life, but she blew it honey. OUT OUT OUT. Shes playing mind games, throwing vicious digs UNnecessarily ,and being completely selfish, cruel, and condescending.
You are obviously ALREADY the bigger person, so theres no need for you to make a scene anywhere or make any big confrontation (and youre NOT doing it, will get to her even more, she WANTS you to react..) If anything, confront her privately and thats that. Get advice from yours/her close friends only if it really is bothering you...
otherwise...
Get on with your holiday decorating and ....
to all a good night !


HUGS !

Re: What to do with this girl?

Two words...Bah-Bye! Lose her immeadiately

Re: What to do with this girl?

and
Sorry to hear you must deal with someone like this!
I would immediately stop all communication with her. Enough is enough!

Re: What to do with this girl?

I have to agree ... Cut her off! Send the subtle hints and just end this relationship. Anna is right she is very jealous of you!