what to young to be marry?
just want to know
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what to young to be marry?
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Re: what to young to be marry?
I dont think age is a factor... if you found someone u truely want to spend forever with and you are ready then thats all that matters. Age is just a number. I will be 23 and FH will be 26 and people always ask why we are getting married so young... it shouldnt matter to anyone but u two... age is just a #...
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Re: what to young to be marry?
Honestly? I think under 21 is way too young.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
I agree that under 21 is to young to marry. People say to us all the time that we are too young and I am 26 and he is 27?![]()
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Re: what to young to be marry?
i'd love to say that age doesn't matter, but in all honesty, i think under 23 is too young for these days. maybe 30 years ago it would be different, but i don't know about these days. although there are plenty of 40 year olds who still have a lot of growin up to do, as well. i just think that for someone that young to be thinking marriage really needs to think harder. yeah, it is fun and a lot of work to plan a wedding, but a marriage is a whole other story. a marriage is like parenthood: once your married, your right to being selfish goes out the window. at 21, there is a tendency to still be very selfish and you don't get that right when you get married. just my opinion.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
Depending on the couple, 21 is sometimes too young too.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
I agree with most of you, I think under 21 this day in age is too young. My 'little' brother is getting married in July....he's 21, she's 18! My whole family thinks that they are way too young, but there's no telling them that.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
I don't know.............age IS just a number. My FH grandparents' have been together for 70 years.........since they were teenagers....an still happy.![]()
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Re: what to young to be marry?
Personally and JMO i think anything under 25 is too young.
I just remember my own personally experiences and i am thankful i had a
couple of serious boyfriends and a hanful of short term boyfriends.
It taught me sooo much about myself and what i want from a life partner.
I just remember my own personally experiences and i am thankful i had a
couple of serious boyfriends and a hanful of short term boyfriends.
It taught me sooo much about myself and what i want from a life partner.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
Well I know I will be very unpopular in this room but I happen to be twenty and can't wait to get married( FH is 26). I would personally agree with all of you but I am not the average 20 year old in my opinion. I am doing the same thing all of you guys are doing. Work, school, bills etc. So I would say in general that most 20 year olds ARE NOT ready to be married, however I am. I have no desire to do the stuff that most people think I should be doing such as partying and drinking and having a string of meaningless relationships. Why would I go out searching for something that I already have and WANT.![]()
Also I happen to have family members who are at least 35 and STILL they aren't ready to be married. So who is to say, it is all very individualistic. I have a very good idea of where I want my life and CAREER to go. I have seen enough failed relationships in my lifetime to know that i want more for myself and my child/children. Also I have no feelings that I have missed out on anything in my life. I went away to college for a while, I did not like it. I used to bartend, did not really like that either. For anyone who feels like getting married stops them from doing things in their lives then they should definitely NOT be getting married. The things I love doing the most is singing and dancing. I don't see how being married stops me from doing either one.
ps - I am not pregnant and neither of us have any children, together or otherwise.![]()
Also I happen to have family members who are at least 35 and STILL they aren't ready to be married. So who is to say, it is all very individualistic. I have a very good idea of where I want my life and CAREER to go. I have seen enough failed relationships in my lifetime to know that i want more for myself and my child/children. Also I have no feelings that I have missed out on anything in my life. I went away to college for a while, I did not like it. I used to bartend, did not really like that either. For anyone who feels like getting married stops them from doing things in their lives then they should definitely NOT be getting married. The things I love doing the most is singing and dancing. I don't see how being married stops me from doing either one.
ps - I am not pregnant and neither of us have any children, together or otherwise.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
NYCHICK....I totally agree with you. I myself just turned 30...but, at 20, I would have said I was ready...but I hadn't found 'the one' at that point. I was engaged when I was 23 and ex-fiance was 29 at the time...I was ready...he wasn't. Needless to say...it's not age that matters...it's maturity and understaning.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
NYCHICK, i've read so many of your posts before and i am surprised to hear that you are 20 and i will completely agree that you don't seem like the average 20 year old. and you are right, the average 20 year old doesn't get what marriage is about. whoever said age is just a number is right. however, for the most part, i think it is safe to say that MOST people under 22 are NOT ready for marriage. And as i said before, a wedding and a marriage are two different things. If you can seperate the two, then you're onto something.![]()
i've just seen a lot of marriages in my family fail b/c the couple is waaaayyyyy too young to realize what the responsiblities entail. granted, other things factored into why they got married to begin with. but my mom would tell me not to wait to get married, not to wait to have children and i would look at her and just stare!!! i didn't want to be like my family members whose marriages were disintigrating. i didn't want to put little kids in the middle of a divorce. i'd been there-it sucks. plus, i didn't want to settle for some guy that i happened to be dating. i don't settle for stuff like that. it's too important. plus, when my mom and grandma got married, times were different. People's goals were different.
so anyway, for the most part, and i reiterate for the MOST PART, under 22 is too young, but it depends on the person/couple. i, too, was not like most 22 year olds. i was working two jobs, 45 hours a week plus going to college at that age. i've never been raving or clubbing or bar hopping. i never had the desire. i'm not a prude, i'm just not interested.
NYCHICK, much much luck and keep that good head on your shoulders!!!
i've just seen a lot of marriages in my family fail b/c the couple is waaaayyyyy too young to realize what the responsiblities entail. granted, other things factored into why they got married to begin with. but my mom would tell me not to wait to get married, not to wait to have children and i would look at her and just stare!!! i didn't want to be like my family members whose marriages were disintigrating. i didn't want to put little kids in the middle of a divorce. i'd been there-it sucks. plus, i didn't want to settle for some guy that i happened to be dating. i don't settle for stuff like that. it's too important. plus, when my mom and grandma got married, times were different. People's goals were different.
so anyway, for the most part, and i reiterate for the MOST PART, under 22 is too young, but it depends on the person/couple. i, too, was not like most 22 year olds. i was working two jobs, 45 hours a week plus going to college at that age. i've never been raving or clubbing or bar hopping. i never had the desire. i'm not a prude, i'm just not interested.
NYCHICK, much much luck and keep that good head on your shoulders!!!
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Re: what to young to be marry?
I would say under 23. I think many people under this age are too immature to get married, many -- but not all. Maturity definitely has a lot to do with it but even more than that is how much you grow and change after 23. Your personality, beliefs, morals, and other traits are still developing and I just feel it's such a drastic change that you risk making a mistake if you marry before allowing yourself to grow 'into yourself', so to speak. Again, this doesn't apply to everyone and it's just my opinion. I know that I myself was not ready to marry at 22 and was able to recognize that. Then, to my amazement, I grew and changed a good deal between then and now... and we're only talking two or three years!
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Re: what to young to be marry?
All I can say is that I have three friends who go married at 21, and 22. Two have been married for about 7 years now, and one for about 3 years. They all wished that they waited. It is sad to think that.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
i think under 21 is too young...
ill actually be 22 when i get married... but I will been with my fh for over 4 years then, and i see him every day so i know what im getting into.
also im not into the clubs and bars(which is more of the single crowd scene).. so i feel old enough to be getting married..
ill actually be 22 when i get married... but I will been with my fh for over 4 years then, and i see him every day so i know what im getting into.
also im not into the clubs and bars(which is more of the single crowd scene).. so i feel old enough to be getting married..
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Re: what to young to be marry?
I think 23 or under!
I say this given the situations of myself and my friends, I think that after college it takes a few years to really 'find' yourself as a grown up, responsible individual! I have been with my FH for almost 5 years! I wnated to marry him 2 years ago but looking back I am glad we waited! I think timing can be a very strong factor in the strength of a marriage!
Sometimes I still feel kinda young at 25 but I know that I have discovered who I am with and more importantly WITHOUT my FH and we have spent years growing together!
Many of our parents may have been married very young and last many many years but what we have to remember is that its impossible to compare ourselves to them at our age! They grew up differently in a different time and these factors help shape who we are. We are in a completely different world now!
I dont think my feelings apply to everyone, I think that the circumstances can change this!
NYCHICK I agree I NEVER would have guessed you were only 20!!!!!!
I say this given the situations of myself and my friends, I think that after college it takes a few years to really 'find' yourself as a grown up, responsible individual! I have been with my FH for almost 5 years! I wnated to marry him 2 years ago but looking back I am glad we waited! I think timing can be a very strong factor in the strength of a marriage!
Sometimes I still feel kinda young at 25 but I know that I have discovered who I am with and more importantly WITHOUT my FH and we have spent years growing together!
Many of our parents may have been married very young and last many many years but what we have to remember is that its impossible to compare ourselves to them at our age! They grew up differently in a different time and these factors help shape who we are. We are in a completely different world now!
I dont think my feelings apply to everyone, I think that the circumstances can change this!
NYCHICK I agree I NEVER would have guessed you were only 20!!!!!!
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Re: what to young to be marry?
I always say no man should get married before 25. For women I would say not before 23.
I remember how much I changed between 18-23, I was a completely different person with different interests, including my taste in men. I did so many things that my friends who were married at that time could not or would not do simply because they had a husband. I can't imagine being married during that time.
I remember how much I changed between 18-23, I was a completely different person with different interests, including my taste in men. I did so many things that my friends who were married at that time could not or would not do simply because they had a husband. I can't imagine being married during that time.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
My FH and I were 20 and 21 when we got engaged. I won’t bother to try and prove why im ready to get married, because other people’s posts have already shown that it is possible. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances. I just wanted to make one point. It is ok to come to the conclusion that if you take some random sample of couples under 23, and investigate each couple’s maturity, etc that a large majority are not ready for marriage. However, it’s not ok to come across a young couple you don’t even know, and just assume they are part of that majority. (it seems like some of you may do this). It’s really sad to know that random people pass me in the hallway at work, see a ring on my finger, and automatically fit me into the “she’s way too young to get married” category. (and I have the added problem of looking younger than I actually am.) The point is: I think everyone should try to stay aware of the subconscious labels you may put on people by taking a generalization and applying it to individuals. Wait until you get to know someone before you make a judgment.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
Posted by dmu0221
My FH and I were 20 and 21 when we got engaged. I won’t bother to try and prove why im ready to get married, because other people’s posts have already shown that it is possible. Everyone has their own unique set of circumstances. I just wanted to make one point. It is ok to come to the conclusion that if you take some random sample of couples under 23, and investigate each couple’s maturity, etc that a large majority are not ready for marriage. However, it’s not ok to come across a young couple you don’t even know, and just assume they are part of that majority. (it seems like some of you may do this). It’s really sad to know that random people pass me in the hallway at work, see a ring on my finger, and automatically fit me into the “she’s way too young to get married” category. (and I have the added problem of looking younger than I actually am.) The point is: I think everyone should try to stay aware of the subconscious labels you may put on people by taking a generalization and applying it to individuals. Wait until you get to know someone before you make a judgment.
I agree! I also look younger than I am (I'm 23) and people always tell me I'm too young to get married. These people don't know anything about me or my life. I was forced to 'grow up' at a young age because of my parents divorce. I have a college degree. I have a good job! And I have been with my fiance for 7 and a half years by the time the wedding comes. It also depends on life experiences and maturity. I know plenty of 30 year olds that have the maturity of 16 year olds, and they are too 'young' to be getting married!!! It varies from person to person and to just say an age or make an assumption about someone isn't fair.
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Re: what to young to be marry?
Posted by oct.2004bride
Personally and JMO i think anything under 25 is too young.
I just remember my own personally experiences and i am thankful i had a
couple of serious boyfriends and a hanful of short term boyfriends.
It taught me sooo much about myself and what i want from a life partner.
I am going to have to agree with you. Anyone under 25 definitely. At least in my case it applied.
