what would you do?

I am currently having 'issues' with a friend of mine. I known her for 10+ years, she has 5 boys and have always respected her advice and her opinions. In the past I have miscarriged (way in the past) and she knows about my experiences. So when I told her I pregnant she told me to take it easy,because I am 'delicate'. I didn't think much of it except her being concerned for my well being.

In the very begining of the pregnancy I had an issue with genetic testing. I tested + for the CF trait and the Tay Sachs trait. So it was an extremely emotional time for my husband and I , while we were waiting for his lab results to return. (they took about 3 Weeks) after I had received my results. It turned out that my husband tested - for both traits and my son will not be affected. (Thank God!)

So, with that experience and my past experiences with pregnancy naturally I am very concerned and sensitive about this much wanted and loved baby.

Well, anyway my friend has always made comments to freak me out. I was 14 weeks and she asked me do you feel the baby move? I said no, b\c I didnt. She told me that I should call my OB ASAP b\c the baby might be a stillborn or my aminotic fluid might be low. I told her I'm 14 weeks and its my 1st pregnancy that has lasted > 8 weeks so maybe the baby is moving and I haven't notice it. She went on to tell me no that I should felt the baby by 12 weeks. That 1st time she really pissed me off. But I didn't say anything.

She has also made comments about how my life is going to change after the baby. How I'm going to be 'stuck' and I won't be able to hangout the way I use to. I told her that unlike her, I was extremely fortunate to get alot of out of my system in my early-mid twenties. I have traveled and partied enough for a life time. And I have not have the desire to party, go clubbing in greater than 3 years. I am much more content and happy at home in my own house relaxing with my husband and pets. Even before I got married I was ready to settle down. She said talk to me in a year after the baby.

I havent spoken to her after that comment its been about 4 weeks or so. Tonight she calls and says hey how are you? I told that I'm doing well and I've been feeling great except for the fact that I'm tired. I told I think its because I have get up to pee in the middle of the night and I have a hard time falling back to sleep. She went to tell me how I might have an UTI and how UTI's can cause preterm labor and with me being 24 weeks the baby might surrive! HELLO! What the f---k was that about!
Not for nothing I think I can distinugish a UTI from normal urination. I am a nurse. Anyway, I just bit my tonuge and told her I had to go.

What should I do? Should I tell her not to call me! Should I tell her not to keep her opinions to herself?
I'm really hormonal so I don't want to be out of line. My mother is ready to call her and tell her to leave me alone because all she does is make me upset!

thanks for letting me vent!

IMO...shes what I call an 'arsonist friend'...she likes to light fires where there are none! Just for the drama effect I suppose...I have a friend just like her...do what I do: tell her to get a grip and listen to herself when she speaks..then ask her if she knows that saying: 'better to let people THINK you're ignorant, than to open your mouth and remove all doubt'...

ETS: tell her EXACTLY how she makes you feel when she says sh*t like that to you!! also tell her that if she doesnt have anything nice to say then STOP CALLING YOU!!! you dont need the aggravation!!!

by the way:

'THIS TOO SHALL PASS'

She sounds toxic!!! Do what's best for your but don't let her upset you any further, some people can NOT be happy for others
to you!!!!!

DO NOT TALK TO THIS WOMAN!!! She is obviouslly a moron!! Why do people have to be so obnoxious. If she calls you again & she starts just tell her 'If you are going to keep talking so negative don't call me anymore!!' Some people don't realize (or forget) how sensitive & somewhat frightening the first pregnancy is.

Does she not REALIZE how obnoxious and hurtful some of these comments are?
If not, then you should set her straight.
Say: I'm sorry, but you're my FRIEND and you must know how emotional all this has been already, because of my past history. I wish you would be a bit more sensitive in some of the things you say to me. They're unncecessary and hurtful. I don't need to constant reminders about risks and how I may lose this baby. It's already something that every mother-to-be deals with on a day-to-day basis WITHOUT being reminded by their so called friends!

If she doesn't get it, and decided to get angry, defensive and not call you, they you're better off.

If she wakes up and learns to shut her mouth, then even better.

What an idiot. First of all everything I have ever read says you feel the baby at around 18-20 weeks, also everyone gets up to pee a million times when they are preggo. Where in the heck is she getting her info from??? She doesn't seem like much of a friend if all she does is scare you. Sounds like she might be jealous. I would let her know how you feel and if she keeps it up I would lose the friendship

Never having been pregnant before, I know that a pregnant woman gets up a thousand times during the night to pee! It's a normal part of pregnancy.

I think you need to distance yourself from this woman. Unfortunately there are unpleasant people in this world who find pleasure in bringing people down. Since you are super sensitive right now, the last thing you need is her advice concerning your pregnancy. The next time she calls, you need to tell her that her negativity just upsets you and you can no longer talk to her for that reason. I can't understand why she's not happy for you.

Keep in mind that every pregnancy is different, so she shouldn't compare yours to any of hers.

Good luck!

I think anyone that would upset you like that, you should stay away from the best you can.
Do you have caller id? If you do, and you see its her, don't pick up. Talk to her as little as you can. She is stressing you out.
I didn't feel the baby moving until I was about 20 weeks pregnant.
If she happens to catch you when you pick up the phone, just cut her short and tell her you were just running out or in the middle of something. Eventually she will get the hint.
Good luck.

You need to let this woman know that she is being hurtful. If you don't want to do that, do not take her calls. Some people just don't know when to shut up.