I am having an issue with one of my bridesmaids putting her deposit down on her dress. About 3 weeks ago I went with a couple of my bridesmaids (her included) to try on the dress and to put down a deposit. the other girls did everything they had to do and this one girl said when is the latest i can order my dress because I want to lose weight so I can order a smaller size. I said to her that even if you lose weight you can take the dress in. Anyway now she is saying that she doesnt have the money and has to wait for her tax return check to come in. Meanwhile she is going to Atlantic City this weekend as well as buying a new living room set for her apartment. This really urks me because I feel she should be putting the money down on the dress.
I know that I have time before the dresses have to be ordered I just feel peoples priorities are out of wack.
Goldi1021
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Re: What would you do?
I'd offer to do it for her but it sounds as if she puts things off. I wouldn't expect her to pay you back too quickly.
TP&SH82506
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Re: What would you do?
man thats a headache.. what can you do? i gues you kinda just gotta wait and see if she'll get her act together.
May05Bride
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I know how you feel. For whatever reason, and I can't immagine why myself but our own weddings aren't as important to other people as it is to us. It really bugs me too!!!!
eogara
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Re: What would you do?
Since you do have so much time, I don't think this is something to stress about at all. It's really not for you to say where her financial priorities should be.
csorisi
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I have the same problem except I dont' have the money problem--she is just trying to delay I know that she will go I just need her to go--I don't want it to seem like i am annoying her either I just need it to be done so I can feel better that the dresses are ordered. My last girl ordered hers this past monday so after 2 weeks if my BM hasn't gone I am going to have to bother her. It ***** that she is going to AC when she should be going to get BM dress but why don't you ask her straight out if she wants to be in it--maybe there is another issue--just a thought
BriBri529
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Re: What would you do?
I understand everyone has many financial obligations in their lives, however a deposit for a dress is not so major . . . I would not put money down for her because there doesn't seem to be a real need- she could have waited for her tax return for AC or her furniture . . . give her a date that the dresses must be ordered by and be done with it- she will have no choice but to put her deposit down.
dpli
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Re: What would you do?
I think you should just tell her the dresses need to be ordered by this date:______ and if her deposit is not in, she is not going to be in the wedding. I had a hard time getting my MOH to get a dress (she picked out her own) and she didn't have one a few weeks before the wedding. Finally I sent her an email explaining that this detail was causing me the most stress at the time and it would mean a lot to me if she would just take care of it.
People get busy with their own stuff and don't realize how stressful all of the details combined can get to you after a while. I also think it is presumptuous to say where and how someone else spends their money.
sunflwr29
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I really dont care how any of my friends spend their money because god know I am constantly shopping and buying something and I am not well off myself. I just dont understand how someone can tell you constantly that they do not have the money for the dress and that she wishes she did and then to go out I dont care so much about AC but furniture is a big expense. I would just like the dresses ordered so I know that it is done and I dont have to worry about them not coming in on time. I dont want to sound like I am someone trying to run someone elses life.
Sorry if I am coming off the wrong way and I do not mean to offend anyone.
dpli
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I don't think you offended anyone, don't worry. What I was trying to express, and maybe it came out wrong is that when we are wrapped up in planning our weddings, we forget that some of these things are just not as important to other people as they are to us. Believe me, I was extremely frustrated through a lot of my planning, so I know how you feel. I think you need to be firm with her, and if she is not willing to do what you want her to, after committing to be a BM, then you might have to ask her to step down. Either way, good luck- it stinks when things are not going smoothly.
allaboutthecake
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Re: What would you do?
I had the same problem with 2 of my BM's ordering their dresses. The both told me that they would go the weekend I spoke to them about the dress. After what I presumed to be my last BM putting down her deposit I called the place and asked them if they were going to put in the order. It was then that I found out that they still hadn't put in the order....3 weeks later!!! I felt like I was being annoying by calling them but I had to push them. At least I know for any future weddings that I am in I will def. go ASAP and get the dress done so I won't stress out the bride.
buckles
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Re: What would you do?
Did you let her know that she will incur a rush fee if she doesn't get it in in a timely manner? I bet if she knew that she would put a deposit down verses paying an additional $30.
LaurenluvsTJ
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Well... let's see.. you still have a while yet till the wedding. How long does it take for the dresses to come in? Wait a little while longer and maybe give her a date it has to be done by, and if she doesn't put the money down by then, tell her she can't be a Bm because the dress won't be in in tikme for the wedding. If money truly is an issue, I would offer to pay for it.
jamesbride
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I actually put a deposit down for one of mine. I can't afford the risk of it not being ready.
12-3Princess
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i put a deposit downfor one of mine, but she's paying me back.
