What would you do...

mrsgtobe Posted: Jun 08, 2005 10:28 PM

What would you do...

...if you were invited to a wedding with two ceremonies?

We are struggling with how to handle our interfaith wedding, and I'd love to hear your opinions on the 'two ceremony' concept.

We would have a Catholic ceremony at a church in the afternoon, around 3:30pm, and a Jewish ceremony at the hall at 6:30pm. The Jewish ceremony would be followed by the CH and reception.

If your friends/cousins/sisters/etc. did this, what would you think? Would you go to both ceremonies? Why or why not?

We just want so badly to honor both sets of traditions - and familes - in their entirety. Please post feedack. Thanks so much!

AJsMommy122 Posted: Jun 08, 2005 10:32 PM

Re: What would you do...

I have heard of this before.
Honestly Im not big on going to ceremony's usually but if I were a close family member or friend I would most def. go to both or at least the one at the hall. Its not so bad esp. since they are not back to back.
I think it is nice actually. Its the most important part of the day why not do it twice!

suven Posted: Jun 09, 2005 08:15 AM

Re: What would you do...

We always go to the ceremony- regardless of the religion. But, if there were 2 ceremonies:

I wouldn't go to both. If it were family, we would probably go to the Catholic ceremony, since we're Catholic and then just go to the reception.

If we weren't that close to the bride and groom, we would probably skip both ceremonies and just go to the reception.

Donna Posted: Jun 09, 2005 08:21 AM

Re: What would you do...

It would depend on my relationship with the bride and/or groom - it was family or close friend I'd do both.

If it was someone not as close I'd probably just choose one. Also I'd think about the distance -if the 1st ceremony was NJ, but the 2nd ceremony was LI I'd only go to that since I live closest to LI

RedHead Posted: Jun 09, 2005 08:42 AM

Re: What would you do...

NO...i wouldn't want to go to both...
In all honesty sitting through the ceremony part is rather boring...sitting through 2 i wouldn't do

babybride Posted: Jun 09, 2005 08:46 AM

Re: What would you do...

I usually only go to ceremonies if I am close to the person or they are family. Having said that my best friend did what you are doing. She got married at the Church in Brooklyn (only ceremony, not Mass) and then had the Jewish ceremony at the Fox Hollow a half hour before the cocktail hour. We went to that also and then straight to the cocktail hour.

boobobunny Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:01 AM

Re: What would you do...

Can you ask the church if the Rabbi could also help perform the ceremony at the church?

My aunt and Uncle did this....they still had the 2 readings...(a Catholic Relative read the reading from the New Testament, and a Jewish relative read the reading from the Old Testament)
At the end the breaking of the glass was still done...it was really nice...and both families felt really good about it.

I forgot to mention what I would do...I would probably only go to the ceremony at the Hall...(nothing to do with religon for me...just convience)...unless I was a relative or close friend...then I would go to both.

jms100303 Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:01 AM

Re: What would you do...

We are going to a wedding in October with two ceremonies. The first will be the Catholic ceremony at a church and the second will be a Hindu ceremony at CHC.

I am really looking forward to it. I didn't even consider NOT going to both.

It surprises me how many people don't go to the ceremony. The only time I didn't go to a ceremony was when it was out of state on a CT and we couldn't get there early enough. To me it is important to go to the ceremony, it is the most important part of the day.

MandM07-03-05 Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:03 AM

Re: What would you do...

imo i think a lot of people would just go to one, probably the one at the reception place.
if this is ok with you then go for it!

troutster Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:07 AM

Re: What would you do...

I have always gone to the ceremony, and if i was very close to the person I would probably go to both. But if i was doing it, I think i would try to combine the 2 ceremonies, since most people don't really like sitting through them they may not go to both.
Also what are your guest doing after the church ceremony but before the jewish one? Is there a place that they go to in between?

nylisa Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:09 AM

Re: What would you do...

My parents did this when they got married (32 years ago) and they had alot of people at both ceremonies.

Dooodles Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:54 AM

Re: What would you do...

I've never been invited to 2 ceremonies, only 2 receptions. Depending on how close I was with the person would decide on whether or not I would go to both. If it weren't a close friend or family member I associate with regularly, then I would skip one.
The 2 receptions I went to were of friends who were Indian. They had a traditional wedding and small reception in a small hall in their traditional garb.
Then a week later, they had a reception in a ballroom with tux and wedding gown. And not everyone was invitied to both.

LFitzy79 Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:55 AM

Re: What would you do...

I would only go to one ceremony, unless I was family, then I would attend both.

sarahbelle Posted: Jun 09, 2005 09:57 AM

Re: What would you do...

I would probably just go to the second one.

I'm having an interfaith wedding as well. We are basically using a generic ceremony with a few adjustments to represent our faiths.