Ok the kids at the wedding thread had me thinking about something...For the e-party we also said no kids and fh's first cousin and the one he is closest to out of all his cousins asked if she can bring her daughter, well her daughter is 12 plus his cousin doesnt know yet, bc i am formally going to ask everyone soon to be in my bp but we are going to make her 12 year old daughter our junior bridesmaid, so when I found out that she called to ask and they said no sorry no kids it got me thinking...I told FH maybe we should let her come, i mean she is going to be part of our bp right. But he said this will cause too many problems and that there were 2nd cousins who are 18 and over who he didnt invite and people will get mad.
Also on my side theres some close family friends who have 15-16 year old kids and i know they usually bring them to events so i told my mom to let them know...But its sooo difficult with this age. They're not kids who have to be watched
But do you think everyone else will get upset if they see we invited his cousins daughter but they were told they cant bring their kid, even if we explain that she is in our bp...What would you do?
Kimbalina
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Re: What would you do
Invite all BP members. If the 12 yr. old has a br/sis then invite them too so they do not feel that they have to find a sister. We are not inviting an 2nd cousins that will be 18 and under at wedding time. There are tooooo many kids and I dont want them to think they will be invited to the wedding.
blu6385
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Re: What would you do
i would def. invite her ... i made a rule our whole BP has to be at our engagement party or thier not in the wedding (unless if they couldnt make it for a really good reason i.e. their sick kids are sick etc) ... i feel that they should have the respect to come ... if you planning on asking your BP at t the eparty and shes part of it she should def. be there ... if anyone cant understand that and has a problem with it then all well ... they will get over it ...
korndoggie
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I think if she is going to be in your bridal party then she should definitely be at your engagement party!
kris01
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I would invite her....only because she is going to be in your BP. If anyone questions it just explain that you are going to ask you BP at the party and you would like her to be there...I have learned in planning my wedding that you cannot make everyone happy and at some point you just have to do what you and your FH want to do....if someone doesn't like it..then it is their problem!!!! I say invite the 12 yr old Jr BM to your party!
HTH!
cherish83
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Re: What would you do
eeek.. sticky situation... I personally would deal with the drama and have her come since she will be in the BP. Tell the others, yes you didnt want kids, but you also wanted your entire BP there, which includes the 12 year old.
snowcutie82
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I would invite her because she is in the BP...are you going to have any other kids in the BP???
i dont think ppl can get mad if she's IN the wedding. if you're formally asking everyone...it might hurt her feelings to be left out.
Espo22
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Posted by blu6385
i would def. invite her ... i made a rule our whole BP has to be at our engagement party or thier not in the wedding (unless if they couldnt make it for a really good reason i.e. their sick kids are sick etc) ... i feel that they should have the respect to come ... if you planning on asking your BP at t the eparty and shes part of it she should def. be there ... if anyone cant understand that and has a problem with it then all well ... they will get over it ...
We were going to do that but decided to do it a little bit before the e-party bc this way nobody gets hurt for not being asked, i think its different when its done in your face and you didnt get asked. BUt yeah thats what i am saying, i mean it would be wrong not to invite her if shes in our bp.
Kimbalina
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I would definatley invite her!
Espo22
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Posted by snowcutie82
I would invite her because she is in the BP...are you going to have any other kids in the BP???
i dont think ppl can get mad if she's IN the wedding. if you're formally asking everyone...it might hurt her feelings to be left out.
Yeah theres other kids but at the moment they are 1 1/2 and 2 years old so its different. Yeah i am definitely gonna discuss this with FH tonight and his family...I know what everyone will say and they're going to be concerned with what everyone else will say, theres alot that goes behind it too that i cant get into, you never know who reads this.
Espo22
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Posted by Kimbalina
I would definatley invite her!
I think you're right, I do know for a fact i will have to deal with stuff bc of it but i think its only right...Her being younger she wont be able to be part of everything we do so i feel bad to leave her out of this
Espo22
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Posted by cherish83
eeek.. sticky situation... I personally would deal with the drama and have her come since she will be in the BP. Tell the others, yes you didnt want kids, but you also wanted your entire BP there, which includes the 12 year old.
yeah i mean its FH who has to deal with it not me lol jk...I also would have no problem inviting the other teenagers, its the whole no 2nd cousins rule, ahhh this get so aggrevating.
Belongs2DanBuckley
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TOUGH situation, but i say invite her..i'm going through the same thing with my cousins...i would say invite her but make sure it is known that SHE is invited because she is in the bridal party...if your family dosen't understand then there is no use for them...she's 12...its not like its JUST the FG or RB...ya know
Espo22
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Posted by kris01
I would invite her....only because she is going to be in your BP. If anyone questions it just explain that you are going to ask you BP at the party and you would like her to be there...I have learned in planning my wedding that you cannot make everyone happy and at some point you just have to do what you and your FH want to do....if someone doesn't like it..then it is their problem!!!! I say invite the 12 yr old Jr BM to your party!
HTH!
VERY TRUE, i mean people are gonna be upset regardless about something. The only problem which i wont get into details about just briefly say something is that people are going to get upset that we invited 'HER' daughter, hope that makes sense
Espo22
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Posted by Belongs2DanBuckley
TOUGH situation, but i say invite her..i'm going through the same thing with my cousins...i would say invite her but make sure it is known that SHE is invited because she is in the bridal party...if your family dosen't understand then there is no use for them...she's 12...its not like its JUST the FG or RB...ya know
its not even my family thats why its harder to deal with, otherwise i would talk to my family personally...Actually my family is sooo small, they're all sitting at one table hahaha.
Kimbalina
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LOL, sounds like FH has a really big family!
Espo22
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Thank you all for your input, when i first brought this up i was told i shouldn't but I am glad to see alot of people feel the same way as I do...You're all great
Espo22
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Posted by Kimbalina
LOL, sounds like FH has a really big family!
YES LOL...its nice having a big family, i guess i see it like that since i am an only child and dont have alot of family here, but at times like this I just want to scream...I mean we invited twenty something first cousins and this is just for the e-party lol...You know how many first cousins i invited -TWO!!! lol
Julybride08
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I invited all my BP members. Even the flower girl and ring bearer. I also had FH's cousins and some of mine who have kids. But non of them except one asked if they can bring there kids. And we simply said no. She did mention something at the party about the opther kids there and we simply sai dit was cause there in the wedding and that was it. FH has alot of 2nd cousins also who were not invited. but no one said anything. So it shouldn't be a problem. We did have kids there that were 14 and 16 though. Because they are older. we said no one really under 12.
Kris10546
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Re: What would you do
I agree with most of the responses, invite her to the engagement party along with any siblings she has. If anyone has a problem with it, let them know you already have almost 200 ppl at the e-party alone and it was just immediate famly, BP and some friends. Its none of their business anyway. We didnt invite any children from the BP (we haven't even decided about FG or RB yet anyway and they would be the only kids)
