if you had a good friend that was about to get married and you thought that they were making a HUGE mistake, but no one wants you to say anything?
hyphenbride
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That's always a tough place to be in. Maybe frame it in a way to say, 'sometimes I look at you and I'm not sure if you're really happy with this. As your friend, I just wanted to see if you were.' This will at least get them thinking...without you attacking them (or have your friend think that's what you're doing).
It's hard--you don't want your friend to make a mistake, but you also want to be there for your friend. In most cases, people won't listen if you think it's a mistake and they don't. As a friend, you should be there when it all falls apart, even when they don't listen.
queensora1980
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If you really care.... you should tell your friend what you think.
Jayla127
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WOW! That's touch subject. How close are you to your friend? Can she handle constructive criticism? If it was my good friend I would definitely tell her
michesq
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good friend I would probabkly say something to her but would depend on why i feel sshe should not go thorugh with wedding and realtionship with friend
MrsBtobe2009
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I was a MOH in a wedding like this. I threw hints in here and there and asked her if she was sure. We have that type of relationship though, where we can talk about everything on our minds. Some people would be offended by this. It is a delicate situation. I would just try to say something in passing to try and get her to say she isn't happy. I don't know this is a hard situation. Definitely handle is with care.
roan126
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Not to go against the grain here, but if it were me I wouldn't say anything. Its really not my business or my place to tell her who she should or shouldnt marry. She's marrying this guy for a reason...she obviously doesnt think she's making a mistake, and she probably wouldnt appreciate someone elses opinion that she is. I personally wouldnt appreciate someone telling me that.
GinaZ
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wow def a hard one! I think people wrote great ideas and comments on here. Its hard to give yuo an answer without knowing them and how they are. You have to do what you think you should or shouldn't do.
irishgrl1017
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If you are that close...she should prob welcome it right?
lizzie217
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IMO when it comes to friends relationships you should give input only when your friend asks for it. The truth of the matter is we are all adults now and while when we were teenagers my friends and I would give more input I have learned its really not appropriate.
Of course there are circumstances when you should talk to your friend about the realtionship such as if you suspect any abuse or if you see the guy cheating. Other than I would wait for her to bring it up. The reality is it will strain your relationship with her. If there are a lot of problems in the relationship and you two are very close she WILL bring it up to you.
Lucky0510
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I honestly wouldn't say anything. Been there... done that. All it does is ruin relationships / friendships. I decided to say something once cause I found out the groom was cheating on her. She didn't care... ruined our friendship and she went through with the wedding anyway.
DeeluvsVinny
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this is a tough one... I was actually in a situation like this. One of my best friends was dating this guy and no one really liked him, he's just a jerk to her and most of the times to everyone. She makes excuses for him all the time. We thought she'd outgrow him. Well, they got engaged in Nov. 06..and were planning an Oct, 2009 Wedding. They fought about EVERYTHING, he didn't let her pick one thing for the wedding, it was all his choices! She really wanted a big wedding, he didn't.
In December 07, she calls and says 'we cancelled the big wedding and are getting married tomorrow at City Hall' Ummm, what??!!
they're married now, fight more than ever and she's miserable.
We tried to broach the subject with her when they were dating..but she ended up telling him!! We're still friends, he's still a jerk and everyone knows how we feel. Unless you suspect abuse or your friend asks, stay out of it.
autumnbride10
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Can I ask what makes you think it is a bad idea? Is he cheating, using drugs or mistreating her? In those cases, I would definitely say something. Otherwise you can delicately try and ask if she is sure about this decision. I had a similar situation years ago, and lost a best friend for about 7 years. We have reconnected since but things are not like they were....hope that helps....
LeeLee111
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You have to let them make the mistake, as soon as you open your mouth you become the bad guy.
GiantsBride
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We had a guy friend who we sat down and talked to him honestly about what we saw and how we felt... he didn't change his mind, but his wife started to act nicer to us and less protective of him - so he might have talked to her about things... but I think it is something that person needs to hear. I know I would want someone to say something to me. My best friend constantly told me she didn't like the guy I was with before I started dating FH - in fact she kept telling me she wanted to introduce me to FH and that's when I broke up with the guy she hated... I needed to hear he wasn't making me happy, I didn't even realize how miserable I appeared to everyone else. Or maybe I realized it, but I didn't think about it as much as I did once she said something.
NoraPearl
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Posted by Lucky0510
I honestly wouldn't say anything. Been there... done that. All it does is ruin relationships / friendships. I decided to say something once cause I found out the groom was cheating on her. She didn't care... ruined our friendship and she went through with the wedding anyway.
Agreed, unless this person is a family member like your sister or something, you just have to let her make her mistake and live her own life or be prepared to lose her friendship. She's a grown woman after all. While it ***** to have to watch, the best thing you can do is be there for her when everything falls apart. Good luck!
sweetdoublenn
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It's hard to be stuck in the middle like that. I truly believe if they are a good friend and you really trust them...I would tell them the truth!!! That's what i would do!!
SFAR89
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My friends would have no problem saying how they felt to me, so i wouldnt hold back either. I mean, if she really cares about you and values your opinion, then she shouldn't get too upset over your question.
Maybe really talk to her about why she feels she wants to marry him, how long have thy been together for?
