what would you do??

christine2010 Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:31 PM

what would you do??

i just found out that a family friend just got engaged. to be perfectly honest i am in shock. they are only 20 years old & have only been dating for 2 years.
asides from me feeling that they are too young, my issues are as follows:
without going into too much detail he is not that nice of a person (extremely controlling & very rued). she is not finished with college & is a spoiled brat. (she has never worked a day in her life). there also have been rumors of him cheating of her.

i am going to see her on Saturday & i am not sure how to approach the situation. any advice would be greatly appreciated.

TIA

grkbarbie Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:33 PM

Re: what would you do??

say congrats. i personally would not get involved.

MrsC2010 Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:33 PM

Re: what would you do??

i dont know if theres anything you can really do. Although you might not agree with it, I think the best thing to do is just be a friend and be supportive.

If you say something bad about her FH or about them getting married she may end up getting mad at you for it.

MikesBride2B Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:34 PM

Re: what would you do??

Posted by grkbarbie

say congrats. i personally would not get involved.

This. She has to make her own mistakes in life.

beebs341 Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:34 PM

Re: what would you do??

Posted by grkbarbie

say congrats. i personally would not get involved.

ITA, thats they're problem now

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:34 PM

Re: what would you do??

I would just wish them congratulations and stay out of it.

StaceyWill Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:35 PM

Re: what would you do??

IMO-why don't you suggest to them to have a loooooooooooong engagement since they are so young-let her know how fun and great engaged life is (overly exaggerate it, of course). Then maybe she'll see he's not the one for her (if that's the case), she'll have finished college, etc... HTH

MarjorieFrank Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:37 PM

Re: what would you do??

I would be pleasant as long as they don't schedule their wedding anywhere near yours.
You can tell them how you feel if you want but it may not be worth the drama, even though you may be trying to save their lives lol.

soontobecruz Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:38 PM

Re: what would you do??

Posted by grkbarbie

say congrats. i personally would not get involved.

yupp!

Lsorrent Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:39 PM

Re: what would you do??

I'm with everyone else. Congratulate them and then let it go.

I don't know your situation, but from my own experience......people will never leave a bad relationship until they are ready to do so, and no sooner. No one will be able to talk her out of it, not you, not her parents, siblings, etc. One day she'll wake up on her own and deal with it then.

T E R I Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:39 PM

Re: what would you do??

i agree with other posters, i would just say congrats and stay out of it. If you start saying negative things about him or the situation she will most likely distance herself from you and think your jealous or something

jayepyt Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:43 PM

Re: what would you do??

Posted by grkbarbie

say congrats. i personally would not get involved.

ita bc iam a young bride iam younger than her and i hate when ppl try to tell me what to do they arent my mother there not paying for my wedding after all is said and done its me and fh and our kids no one esle really matters sorry went a little off track just now

babsbeark Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:44 PM

Re: what would you do??

I learned from my mistake I would just say Thank you

I had a “friend” who was dating this guy who was such an immature jerk (very men rule the world type) I told her she totally got pissed off at me, then they got engaged I saw him with another girl I told her and that ended our friendship cause she thought I was just jealous. Long story short they got married and divorced 3 months later he had another girl pregnant!!

SO I vowed to stay out of things from then on just pretend to be happy for her unless she asks you for your honest feelings about him then worry about it then

bulldoglover Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:44 PM

Re: what would you do??

i'd say congrats and let it be. if she specifically asks you what you think, i'd go with the suggestion for a long engagement.

Soon2bMrsH Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:53 PM

Re: what would you do??

unless they ask what you think, i would just say congratulations and let it be.

does she know about these rumors??

i would be pissed if people knew my FH was cheating and didnt tell me.

christine2010 Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:53 PM

Re: what would you do??

thank you for all your advice. i am just going to say congratulations & suggest a long engagement & hope she listens.

if she asks for my honest opinion on how i feel about him i am going to risk the friendship.

christine2010 Posted: Jun 24, 2009 02:55 PM

Re: what would you do??

Posted by Soon2bMrsH

unless they ask what you think, i would just say congratulations and let it be.

does she know about these rumors??

i would be pissed if people knew my FH was cheating and didnt tell me.

yes my sister told her that another friend saw him with someone else. she told my sister that she was going to talk to him about it. we don't know what happened though.