What would you do?.....

My sisters and her best friend have known eachother since they were 5 years old, they are now both 28. She is like another sister to me. Anyway, she is engaged, getting married this October. Her and her FH had their precanna this past weekend, and when the priest asked how many people each of them had been with, she was blown away by her FH's answer. She had no idea he had so many partners before they met. I guess they never had 'that talk'. Anyway, she is flipping out now saying she doesn't know if she can go through with it, what else has he lied about, yada yada yada. I don't really think it is a lie since she never asked, but that is my opnion.

What do you girls think? What would you do if you were in her situation?

Also, I hadn't a clue the priest asks you how many partners you have had! Not that I am hiding anything from FH.....

Re: What would you do?.....

I don't think it's a lie either - if they never had the talk. Obviously she wasn't concerned with knowing, which is why she didn't ask, why would it bother her now? Unless he claims to be Magic Johnson!

Re: What would you do?.....

Kim.
Let me tell you BRAVA for the topic.....

Hey it was b4 me.
I don't care.
I have the ROCK on my hand and I keep the 'good' stuff now a days at home..

So I think that she shouldn't be upset nor worried.
Its the past leave the amount of lovers you had THERE...
But I think they should have discussed it prior to precana..
WE had that talk like 3 days of 'talking' b4 we even kissed!

Re: What would you do?.....

cp0329....lol, magic johnson. Basically, we are talking HIGH numbers here. I said the same thing to her, 'you never asked.' She goes, 'i never imagined a 28 year old could have that many partners in 23 years' (they started dating when they were 23)

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I say she should leave it alone. If she never asked, he never lied. People change. Maybe he was in a lot of relationships that he felt were important but found out they weren't and that is why they ended, you know?

It's hard to swallow when you hear something about your significant other's past that you don't like, but liek R&T said, it's the PAST, leave it there. He is moving foward with your sister's friend, not dragging her back in time.

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I think the past should stay in the past. I know my FH was a man-w hore before we got together but I don't stress it because he's with me now and he's very happy that way!

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I feel that the past is the past.....(obviously within reason)

I don't actually want to know how many people FH has been with b/c that has absolutely nothing to do with me.....

I hope she is able to get past that.....She can't hold against him what he did before she even knew him...ya know?

(again, i'm not saying that if he said 50 or 100 girls I would feel the same, but like I said...within reason)

Re: What would you do?.....

Look girls..

Sex is sex..

Comeone lets not all make a big deal about it.......

If a NORMAL guy had sex with 2 girls a mt from the time he was 18.
think how many that add's up to.
Now if your man is HOT and use to be a playa the # can be alot HIGHER..

HEy atleast he knows what he is doing!

Re: What would you do?.....

personally I am shocked that the priest even brought that up. that was never mentioned in my precana.
My theory is don't ask if you don't want to know! What we did before we met each other is better left in the past. We once attempted to have that converstaion and it got so uncomfortable that we ended it. I'd really rather not know and vice-versa. As long as both of them are secure and happy with being with each other for the rest of their lives I see no reason to flip out.

Re: What would you do?.....

Thanks Theresa! Same here, I think I asked how many girls he had been before I gave him my number..

I totally agree, it is in the past. Sure, he had his fair share of women, but he chose you, you should be happy.

I think she is just getting cold feet and freaking about everything!

Re: What would you do?.....

I'm surprised the priest asked - thats nervy. Neither of our priests asked, and if they did I would have told them its none of their business.

I had a similar situation with an ex, except he outright lied to me (shaving 10 or so off his number). I was terribly hurt when I found out (especially when I learned I KNEW some of them).

But this is a different story. It shouldn't affect her now - he never lied, she never asked. If it was such an important issue, it should have come up earlier in the relationship. She needs to let it go and accept that his past experiences helped to make him who he is (heard that on Montell yesterday )

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Numbers can be racked up easily!

FH & I had that talk before we had sex...my numbers were much higher than his - which bothered him a little...but obviously not too much!

I was surprised by how many sex questions the priests ask during precaning (that's what I call it ). My sister was really put off with the line of questioning her Deacon put her through. The things he chose to focus on and stuff.

Re: What would you do?.....

If it is before my time then it is none of my business. Just my opinion....

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T- You are cracking me up! 'At least he knows what he is doing.' That is exactly what I said. I got a dirty look for that from my mom..lol

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In my experience, 'experience' doesn't necessarily equate with knowledge. I've been with some sloppy boys who *should* have known their way around 'town', but didn't. Maybe they inflated their numbers cause they surely weren't..................

Re: What would you do?.....

Nightclubs..
Drugs
Multiple Partners help the # get alot higher as well..
I know alot of LOSSSSSSSSSSSSSIEEEEE Goosieeeeeeeeeeeeee girls thanks to DRUGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSs........................

Hey if he doesn't know how to WORK it show him..

Always can tell how good they are on how good they are on the DANCEFLLORRRRRRR>

I can't quote it here But My fav SONG has a line in it about that!

Re: What would you do?.....

So let me get this straight....some priests will ask sexual history and some may not? If you are getting married in a Roman Catholic Church, since you aren't 'supposed' to participate in pre-marital sex, shouldn't the priest assume you haven't had sex?

When you call to schedule your appointment, can you ask for a priest who won't even bring the topic up?...

Re: What would you do?.....

My priest never asked us how many partners we had.

I am shocked he did this

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Theresa-if only that were true. My exbf was a dancer at factory (don't ask) and he hadn't a clue what to do with himself in the bedroom....

Re: What would you do?.....

There was a priest who chose to focus on the fact that the bride was molested as a child by a family member. He wanted details and how it affected her relationship with her FH. Personally, I would have told him to get his rocks off somewhere else and walked out. But I have many issues with priests, as it is, so that's just me.