What would you do?

So I've gone on in the past about my MOH. We haven't spoken in close to a month now. She is a horrible person. We've been friends for 15 yrs. At this point I feel we've grown apart. She said some pretty hurtful things, and admitted to a mutual friend she was wrong but hasn't called to make amends... She'll randomly like my FB stuff but wont be an adult and apologize. We are 30 yrs old... Now, I said she was a terrible person. if I listed some of the things she does/has done you ladies would be disgusted. Not even for the sake of judging just bc it's things you don't do... She's never been horrible to me before until now. I guess jealousy kicked in and whatever else... Side note, She's unemployed for over yr, her parents pay her bills and pay for her place. She claims she has no money or time to do anything wedding related but is constantly posting on FB about doing all these things and going to all these places. She makes me sick.

Anyway, FH & I have been trying to figure out what to do. We have a MOH and Best Man. Thats it. No limos, keeping the flower budget low, paying for everything ourselves. Ceremony and Reception is at the hall and im getting ready there. So, I need a MOH who is capable and can be there for me, and can put her issues aside and be helpful. We are thinking about adding two more people. I'd ask our new friend to be my MOH. But if I have demote my best friend of 15yrs, then I don't want her in it at all, especially since the only damn reason we are adding another 2 ppl is bc she isn't capable. FH doesn't want the guy to girl ratio to be uneven. The new female I'd ask is dating the guy we'd ask. They are kind of a package deal. I asked if he'd have his friend step down from the current best man... Not an option, but I was desperately trying anything. The girl who would step up to be my MOH has only been my friend for 3yrs. We are not best of friends but shes a good person, I know I can count on her, and she's FH best friend girlfriend. They will most likely be engaged within the year.

I never wanted 2 bridesmaids. I wanted to keep this simple... For many reasons.

Would you:
A) Ask these 2 people to step up and ask my current MOH to be a bridesmaid instead?

B) Ask these 2 people to step up and completely get rid of my current MOH, and ask a different friend to be a bridesmaid? (I have another long time friend who is honestly just to busy to be MOH)

or

C) Your SUGGESTIONS PLEASE!

You yourself said that your MOH is an aweful person... Me being in your shoes I would completely take her out, ya'll hardly speak anyway and apparently she doesnt respect you if she's done wrong and wont apologize but liked ur FB stuff like all is peachy.

ETA: I would do B.... Plus you said she makes you sick.... Why would u want an MOH like that anyway? Sometimes you gotta do whats best for you, ad yeah it is 15 yrs, but what united you and her in the past obviously isnt a factor now. I'm sorry you have this drama

I can't even explain how helpful it is having people on the outside, especially brides, giving their feedback. Thanks ladies.

unless the MOH is someone you are blood related to, be done with her! Even if she was your sister, you really would have to demote her to get what YOU NEED done that day.

I am sending you positive vibes, bc this def is not an easy situation.

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Posted by linda_art

I can't even explain how helpful it is having people on the outside, especially brides, giving their feedback. Thanks ladies.

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I'm so annoyed for you!!! This girl is being a terrible friend and an even worse MOH! I think it's time to just replace her...you'll be so much happier!

B sounds like the best option. Your MOH is supposed to be someone who would be there for you all thorough, she's not doing that AT ALL. I think I recall you saying she was acting weird weeks ago. Please do yourself a favor, you don't need any added drama.
Doesn't sound like your bridal party would get large and out of control if you add two new people. I'm in a similar situation as you in terms of flower budget and bridal party size and I had to decline a friend wanting to be my Bridesmaid. I knew it would be a bit problematic and FH doesn't have another groomsman he can add, oh and that adds to our limo cost . Sometimes you have to choose some battles. It doesn't sound like keeping her in your BP is doing you any good. Just MHO.

you want someone who is helpful, in FULL support of you, and someone who shares your excitement.

I know this can't be easy but hang in there! You deserve a great MOH!

I hope what ever is meant to be happens. sending good vibes and support your way.

B

you dont need someone who makes you so unhappy to be around for the happiest day.

sorry you are going threw all this, i hope things get better

BYE BYE current MOH...

Seriously, I would totally get rid of her. Lately I have no tolerance for incompetent people.

I was just talking about this with my sister, and how now that we are older we are realizing the true characters of some of the people in our family. We were saying that it was so much better when we were young and ignorant to these facts, but I digress...

In my opinion, she's lost her opportunity to prove to you that she can be there for you when you need her most, which is what a MOH is for.

Wedding planning aside, it doesn't seem like she is a true friend, which is what you will really need when the wedding is all said and done. You don't want to look back at your wedding photos in 10 years and regret the people you had standing by your side. I would take some time to think about it, but I personally would think about assigning someone else the role of MOH. Good luck!

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Posted by 1112bride

BYE BYE current MOH...

Seriously, I would totally get rid of her. Lately I have no tolerance for incompetent people.

I was just talking about this with my sister, and how now that we are older we are realizing the true characters of some of the people in our family. We were saying that it was so much better when we were young and ignorant to these facts, but I digress...

In my opinion, she's lost her opportunity to prove to you that she can be there for you when you need her most, which is what a MOH is for.

Wedding planning aside, it doesn't seem like she is a true friend, which is what you will really need when the wedding is all said and done. You don't want to look back at your wedding photos in 10 years and regret the people you had standing by your side. I would take some time to think about it, but I personally would think about assigning someone else the role of MOH. Good luck!

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Definitetly This!!!! I know what you're going through too... I am in the process of demoting one of MOH's too... She is younger than I am and we're just not on the same page. At first she seemed all excited about it but the more I think about it, makes me think that she was just excited cause it was like a competition for her. She is not my best friend, she is FH really good friend from college and I thought since I didn't have best friends or sisters I would make her MOH especially since she seemed so thrilled about it. Ever since I asked her and gave her the position she doesn't call or text. I hardly ever speak to her and has cancelled several bridal showcases. So I totally understand you. It's better to get rid of the nonsense now than later. Take it easy and don't let it bother you too much!!! Cheer up!

Whatever you decide, I hope you get rid of your MOH. Unecessary drama and stress. Sorry sweety, I hope it works out