What would you do?

i dont blame you...maybe you can say an email to the effect of this.

hi so and so

hope you enjoyed our wedding and had a great time. we were going through all our stuff and we noticed that there wasnt a gift from you. we wanted to make sure it wasnt stolen or misplaced somwhere at the rh.

something to that effect just to feel em out

HTH

omg i would be FUMING!
my gut says you cant really say anything, however if i were in your shoes i wouldnt be able to resist! i think emailing and wording it as above (making sure it wasnt misplaced) is the way to go. And hopefully they realize and say no we didnt bring anything bc we were going to mail something to you later on....


sorry you are dealing with this, and i hope no one else has to!

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Posted by rosatemp

i dont blame you...maybe you can say an email to the effect of this.

hi so and so

hope you enjoyed our wedding and had a great time. we were going through all our stuff and we noticed that there wasnt a gift from you. we wanted to make sure it wasnt stolen or misplaced somwhere at the rh.

something to that effect just to feel em out

HTH

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DH did that to two people and got this in response:
'hey times are hard right now, we were planning not to attend at all at first but felt bad so we came'

A couple of people in our BP did this to us. I couldnt believe my BM didnt even give us a card. im still a little hurt by it... and what is worse... one of DHs groomsmen and his wife did the same thing... and what made this even worst was not only the fact this his wife bailed on my shower, but when we went to their wedding 2 years ago DH was in the wedding party gave a VERY nice gift, and they gave us NOTHING back...

People are just terrible!

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Posted by pjc92980

omg i would be FUMING!
my gut says you cant really say anything, however if i were in your shoes i wouldnt be able to resist! i think emailing and wording it as above (making sure it wasnt misplaced) is the way to go. And hopefully they realize and say no we didnt bring anything bc we were going to mail something to you later on....


sorry you are dealing with this, and i hope no one else has to!

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I hope not for everyone else on here. This was truly insulting. I didn't invite people so they can pay for the wedding but common...something....a gift? card?

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Posted by Lana and Johan

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Posted by rosatemp

i dont blame you...maybe you can say an email to the effect of this.

hi so and so

hope you enjoyed our wedding and had a great time. we were going through all our stuff and we noticed that there wasnt a gift from you. we wanted to make sure it wasnt stolen or misplaced somwhere at the rh.

something to that effect just to feel em out

HTH

---

DH did that to two people and got this in response:
'hey times are hard right now, we were planning not to attend at all at first but felt bad so we came'

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OMG what is wrong with people?!?! if i got a response like that I woulda wrote back...
yes we know, times are tough for us too. we could have saved $200 if you DIDNT come but instead we just paid for you to have a night out and got nothing in return...thanks

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Posted by Lana and Johan

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Posted by rosatemp

i dont blame you...maybe you can say an email to the effect of this.

hi so and so

hope you enjoyed our wedding and had a great time. we were going through all our stuff and we noticed that there wasnt a gift from you. we wanted to make sure it wasnt stolen or misplaced somwhere at the rh.

something to that effect just to feel em out

HTH

---

DH did that to two people and got this in response:
'hey times are hard right now, we were planning not to attend at all at first but felt bad so we came'

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ummm wow..i have no words...i would rather they not come so i dont have to pay for their plate...i hope that dont make me sound like a biatch lol...

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Posted by pjc92980

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Posted by Lana and Johan

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Posted by rosatemp

i dont blame you...maybe you can say an email to the effect of this.

hi so and so

hope you enjoyed our wedding and had a great time. we were going through all our stuff and we noticed that there wasnt a gift from you. we wanted to make sure it wasnt stolen or misplaced somwhere at the rh.

something to that effect just to feel em out

HTH

---

DH did that to two people and got this in response:
'hey times are hard right now, we were planning not to attend at all at first but felt bad so we came'

---

OMG what is wrong with people?!?! if i got a response like that I woulda wrote back...
yes we know, times are tough for us too. we could have saved $200 if you DIDNT come but instead we just paid for you to have a night out and got nothing in return...thanks

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omg i just said this itss sooooo true

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Posted by FutureMrsPanuch

A couple of people in our BP did this to us. I couldnt believe my BM didnt even give us a card. im still a little hurt by it... and what is worse... one of DHs groomsmen and his wife did the same thing... and what made this even worst was not only the fact this his wife bailed on my shower, but when we went to their wedding 2 years ago DH was in the wedding party gave a VERY nice gift, and they gave us NOTHING back...

People are just terrible!

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its rude thats what that is...how dare people do this...we spend so much money on this and they cant even give $50 come on something is better then nothing

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Posted by rosatemp

its rude thats what that is...how dare people do this...we spend so much money on this and they cant even give $50 come on something is better then nothing

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EXACTLY!!! its not about how much you give - i understand everyone has a different financial situation so you give what you can. but at least SOMETHING!

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Posted by rosatemp

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Posted by Lana and Johan

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Posted by rosatemp

i dont blame you...maybe you can say an email to the effect of this.

hi so and so

hope you enjoyed our wedding and had a great time. we were going through all our stuff and we noticed that there wasnt a gift from you. we wanted to make sure it wasnt stolen or misplaced somwhere at the rh.

something to that effect just to feel em out

HTH

---

DH did that to two people and got this in response:
'hey times are hard right now, we were planning not to attend at all at first but felt bad so we came'

---

ummm wow..i have no words...i would rather they not come so i dont have to pay for their plate...i hope that dont make me sound like a biatch lol...

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I totally agree

I can't believe what I'm reading!! I don't know what I'd do to be honest...I would feel like 'what CAN I do?' I think I'd be extremely upset but I wouldn't comfront anyone since I don't think I'd get anywhere and their just not worth my aggravation. I would just remember my day as amazing as I hope it will be lol and take the loss... I'm sorry you had to go thru this tho!

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Posted by evita2781

we had a few of those and we didn't say anything. it's been a month now and most of the non-gifters got us the remainders off our registry. One handed me the card w/ $ last week and another emailed me asking to meet up so he can give me the card w/ the $ (didn't want to mail it and get lost). i honestly cannot say anything to people about this sitch. it's a bit awkward. all i know is that i was a bit thrown off and offended by it. i will remember this for future references. i know, sounds crappy but come onnnnnnnnnnnnn

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I am not saying anything to people but duly noted...sorry to sound like a biatch

I agree that at LEAST a $2 card is necessary, even if they can't afford to give a gift! But you also do have to remember that its about having your loved ones there with you, not about the gifts. I wouldn't totally write them out of your life just based on that if they were good friends beforehand. If times really are tough for them, then being supportive is so much better than getting angry with them, that just makes the situation worse.

ETA I know it sucks, we had a few close friends do the same, but we were just happy to have them there with us on the day. Don't let it ruin friendships!