What would you do?? (Advice Please)

---

Posted by MISSESPINK722

---

Posted by Songstress

I have been a little depressed for the past couple of days and it mainly has to do with family drama. The newest being with my father. My father has always had money problems and moved to Florida about 3 years ago when his house was foreclosed here. When I told him I was getting married (about 7 months ago) he already made it seem like it was going to be hard for him to raise money to get here. From then up until now, everytime I speak to him its always, 'I dont know what Im gonna do, my wife wants to come, its gonna be so expensive' And his newest story is that he's worried about being deported because he doesnt have papers and immigration laws are tough right now. My dad didnt put anything toward this wedding. My mom and and stepfather did. All my dad had to do was be there. I feel like he's wants me to say, 'Its okay dad dont worry you dont have to come' Why cant he just keep his stories to himself and just do whatever it takes to get here? Am I asking for too much. Its really taking a toll on me and I feel horrible. My own father is pulling this. Should I just give in and tell him not to come even though it will kill me?

---

do you think that maybe he is saying that because he wants you to offer to pay for a flight up there?

---

Nah I know he is having trouble with his legal status here. So Im sure he's worried to fly. He could be hoping I offer to pay for him to come some other way. But should that be my responsibility??

---

Posted by Songstress

---

Posted by MISSESPINK722

---

Posted by Songstress

I have been a little depressed for the past couple of days and it mainly has to do with family drama. The newest being with my father. My father has always had money problems and moved to Florida about 3 years ago when his house was foreclosed here. When I told him I was getting married (about 7 months ago) he already made it seem like it was going to be hard for him to raise money to get here. From then up until now, everytime I speak to him its always, 'I dont know what Im gonna do, my wife wants to come, its gonna be so expensive' And his newest story is that he's worried about being deported because he doesnt have papers and immigration laws are tough right now. My dad didnt put anything toward this wedding. My mom and and stepfather did. All my dad had to do was be there. I feel like he's wants me to say, 'Its okay dad dont worry you dont have to come' Why cant he just keep his stories to himself and just do whatever it takes to get here? Am I asking for too much. Its really taking a toll on me and I feel horrible. My own father is pulling this. Should I just give in and tell him not to come even though it will kill me?

---

do you think that maybe he is saying that because he wants you to offer to pay for a flight up there?

---

Nah I know he is having trouble with his legal status here. So Im sure he's worried to fly. He could be hoping I offer to pay for him to come some other way. But should that be my responsibility??

---

No i dont think it should, but it sounds to me that he might not want to ask you directly??..but that might be what hes hinting at........I think he'll be fine to fly, since hes staying in the states.

---

Posted by MISSESPINK722

---

Posted by Songstress

---

Posted by MISSESPINK722

---

Posted by Songstress

I have been a little depressed for the past couple of days and it mainly has to do with family drama. The newest being with my father. My father has always had money problems and moved to Florida about 3 years ago when his house was foreclosed here. When I told him I was getting married (about 7 months ago) he already made it seem like it was going to be hard for him to raise money to get here. From then up until now, everytime I speak to him its always, 'I dont know what Im gonna do, my wife wants to come, its gonna be so expensive' And his newest story is that he's worried about being deported because he doesnt have papers and immigration laws are tough right now. My dad didnt put anything toward this wedding. My mom and and stepfather did. All my dad had to do was be there. I feel like he's wants me to say, 'Its okay dad dont worry you dont have to come' Why cant he just keep his stories to himself and just do whatever it takes to get here? Am I asking for too much. Its really taking a toll on me and I feel horrible. My own father is pulling this. Should I just give in and tell him not to come even though it will kill me?

---

do you think that maybe he is saying that because he wants you to offer to pay for a flight up there?

---

Nah I know he is having trouble with his legal status here. So Im sure he's worried to fly. He could be hoping I offer to pay for him to come some other way. But should that be my responsibility??

---

No i dont think it should, but it sounds to me that he might not want to ask you directly??..but that might be what hes hinting at........I think he'll be fine to fly, since hes staying in the states.

---

I think he would be okay too but the problem with him is that he has a record. Because of that he feels like if they stop and look him up, his record will come up and theyll send him straight back to DR.

---

Posted by Songstress

---

Posted by MISSESPINK722

---

Posted by Songstress

---

Posted by MISSESPINK722

---

Posted by Songstress

I have been a little depressed for the past couple of days and it mainly has to do with family drama. The newest being with my father. My father has always had money problems and moved to Florida about 3 years ago when his house was foreclosed here. When I told him I was getting married (about 7 months ago) he already made it seem like it was going to be hard for him to raise money to get here. From then up until now, everytime I speak to him its always, 'I dont know what Im gonna do, my wife wants to come, its gonna be so expensive' And his newest story is that he's worried about being deported because he doesnt have papers and immigration laws are tough right now. My dad didnt put anything toward this wedding. My mom and and stepfather did. All my dad had to do was be there. I feel like he's wants me to say, 'Its okay dad dont worry you dont have to come' Why cant he just keep his stories to himself and just do whatever it takes to get here? Am I asking for too much. Its really taking a toll on me and I feel horrible. My own father is pulling this. Should I just give in and tell him not to come even though it will kill me?

---

do you think that maybe he is saying that because he wants you to offer to pay for a flight up there?

---

Nah I know he is having trouble with his legal status here. So Im sure he's worried to fly. He could be hoping I offer to pay for him to come some other way. But should that be my responsibility??

---

No i dont think it should, but it sounds to me that he might not want to ask you directly??..but that might be what hes hinting at........I think he'll be fine to fly, since hes staying in the states.

---

I think he would be okay too but the problem with him is that he has a record. Because of that he feels like if they stop and look him up, his record will come up and theyll send him straight back to DR.

---

im trying to think if i have known anyone like that and if theyve flown recently, but i cant think of anyone right now...maybe he can take a bus or train? to be a little safer, so he doesnt have to get worried about that....what type of ID does he have to fly?

I am so sorry that you are going through with this. I agree with what the other girls are saying about looking for different options to offer him.

I would say try greyhound and amtrak . Sometimes they have the buy one get a free ticket so then your father and stepmother can come. Also, with the increase in gas prices him driving by himself may be just as much as a flight.

On another note, I will just be Devil's advocate for your dad and maybe he is putting so many excuses bc he feels guilty that he may not be helping you financially as much as your mom and step-father.

Do you have any siblings? Maybe you can try to get one of them to speak to your dad (That's what I would do)

Good luck with everything and dont worry things will work out

I think you might be right about him worried about going through airports. BUt if that is the case he should be straight with you since all he has to do is show up. He should see how much you want him there.Personally I would just tell him don't worry about coming (I bet he would feel so bad and find himself there).
Sorry you have to go through this though

Like others said, If its important to you to have him there, i wouldnt let him off the hook so easy. Let him know it means a lot to you for him to be there.

I'm sorry he is giving you a hard time