a girl that i have been friends with since i was in 1st grade is really starting to annoy me. she has been wanting to spend every second of the day with me and fh and fh parents. she even wants to move into fh bedroom!!!!! (i'm not kidding) she is starting to call fh parents her family and wants to spend time alone with them. it's like shes trying to get closer to his family than i am, or wants the same kind of relationship that i have with them. it's really getting to the point where i just want time away from her. she's always calling fh to help her with things and when i was talking on the phone to my fh cousin, she practically ripped the phone out of my hand because she wanted to talk to her, and she didnt even give me the phone back after she was done. and like if my fmil or ffil are talking to me, she'll go over my voice and answer for me. what should i do, i'm not the only one who notices this!!!!
lilmrs
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
WHOA! I would take a step back from the friendship for a bit. I wouldn't call her as much and I would not answer the phone as much. after about a month, I would then call her and explain to her what I was doing and why.
Danielle&Scott
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
WOW thats wierd. Is she single? Hmm....I really hope she isnt trying to make the moves on your Fh, but to me that is what it sounds like.
I think you need to sit down with your friend and find out why she does this, and have her stop immediately
OctBride05
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
Posted by Danielle&Scott
WOW thats wierd. Is she single? Hmm....I really hope she isnt trying to make the moves on your Fh, but to me that is what it sounds like.
I think you need to sit down with your friend and find out why she does this, and have her stop immediately
yes, she is single. i also thought she was trying to make moves on my fh. she is just trying to get to close to his family, like their going to like her better than me, and everyone can see it. even last night, my ffil was like, ' what is the matter with that girl'
Danielle&Scott
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
Is her family close? What type of a relationship does she have with her own parents? What about your parents, does she try to get close to them too?
OctBride05
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
Posted by DLWDLG
WHOA! I would take a step back from the friendship for a bit. I wouldn't call her as much and I would not answer the phone as much. after about a month, I would then call her and explain to her what I was doing and why.
i've tried not answering my cell phone and then she'll call fh businesss line and then the house line. she bever gets the hint. yesterday she wanted to come over and use the computer and stayed the whole day even when we had family over, she would not leave. i didnt want to tell her to leave because then i'll feel bad because she's going through a lot, but now after last night when people were talking about what she's doing, i'm like enough is enough already.
OctGroom
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
wow.. that's screwed up..
is she married? bf? if not, she may feel like she's losing you.
OctBride05
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
Posted by Danielle&Scott
Is her family close? What type of a relationship does she have with her own parents? What about your parents, does she try to get close to them too?
her mother is not talking to her right now, because of something she did. no, she doesn't try to get close to my family only his. and it's just not with his parents. it's his cousins and sister too.
Jan05Bride
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
You need to separate her from the family. Don't invite her over as much, don't let her come to use the computer (there are libaries she can use), hang out, etc ... Tell her 'Sorry it's not a good time, we are in the middle of something.' 'Sorry, we are going out' 'Sorry, we have family visiting' ... she'll get the hint and if she does ask you about it tell her 'You are not part of FH's family, we need to make plans separately' You can still all hang out bt go out, don't let her sit around at FH's house all day like she belongs there because she doesn't. A visit is a visit, but overstaying your welcome is uncalled for.
OctGroom
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
Posted by OctGroom
wow.. that's screwed up..
is she married? bf? if not, she may feel like she's losing you.
I didn't read the whole post before writing my post... OK.,., she's single... for some reason I don't think she's after your FH.. I admit.. the thought crossed my mind though.
She just might be lonely and this is all very innocent. Does she get flirty with FH to the point where it's like.. 'OK.. now go away'?
OctBride05
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
She just might be lonely and this is all very innocent. Does she get flirty with FH to the point where it's like.. 'OK.. now go away'?
she doesn't get flirty with him, that i've seen. but twice she wanted to hang out with him alone, when i was at my moms house and fh was like no, i dont think so. she also tries to get me and fh into fights. i know that she lonely and just wants people around, but the way she goes about it pisses me off, because it's like she thinks she's gonna take my place with his family. and if she thinks she could do that then i guess she really not my friend.
Danielle&Scott
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
Posted by Jan05Bride
You need to separate her from the family. Don't invite her over as much, don't let her come to use the computer (there are libaries she can use), hang out, etc ... Tell her 'Sorry it's not a good time, we are in the middle of something.' 'Sorry, we are going out' 'Sorry, we have family visiting' ... she'll get the hint and if she does ask you about it tell her 'You are not part of FH's family, we need to make plans separately' You can still all hang out bt go out, don't let her sit around at FH's house all day like she belongs there because she doesn't. A visit is a visit, but overstaying your welcome is uncalled for.
I totally agree with this. Well said
OctGroom
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
Posted by OctBride05
She just might be lonely and this is all very innocent. Does she get flirty with FH to the point where it's like.. 'OK.. now go away'?
she doesn't get flirty with him, that i've seen. but twice she wanted to hang out with him alone, when i was at my moms house and fh was like no, i dont think so. she also tries to get me and fh into fights. i know that she lonely and just wants people around, but the way she goes about it pisses me off, because it's like she thinks she's gonna take my place with his family. and if she thinks she could do that then i guess she really not my friend.
Not wanting to start trouble but I noticed two things from your post..
1.) 'she doesn't get flirty that I've seen' -- she wouldnt want you to see it if it were to occur...Good job by FH avoiding her!
2.) getting the two of you into fights.. bad.
Be careful... decrease the time you spend together.. and maybe even try set her up with a single guy if she gets unbearable.
swags1016
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
I am sorry you need to seperate from this girl. It might even be worth investing a couple of bucks and putting a block on her number. I see stalker screaming all over this. I am sorry I am just being honest. It sounds like she has all these issues with her family and you are getting a second family that you get along with and she can't even get along with the one that she has. It seems to me that after the wedding when you are being busy being newlyweds that she could possibly get really upset and 'stalkery' that you will not be able to hang out as much. I really think that you need to take a break and cut it off.
I am sorry, JMO
OctBride05
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
i also see this as getting 'stalker' like and thats what i said to fh last night. she can just get home from being with us and she'll call about every 10 mins. she's supposed to be a bm in my wedding and she tries to get me mad at fh by telling me he doesnt help me with the planning and he doesnt care. my fh actually yelled at her last week about it because she was making me upset. she just called me a few minutes ago and i told her i was busy and she got a little nasty because i told her i was going to my moms.
violet
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
You should just try to tell her that your and FH's life is really busy right now, and you can't afford to spend so much time with her. She definitely sounds like she's trying to take your place or something, and perhaps she's just really jealous of your life.
swags1016
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
You have some time to decide she whether or not you want her in your bridal party but she seems like she needs to have the spot-light on her at all times. I would be nervous having her be in my BP when the day is not about her it is about you and your FH.
I would take a step back, take a break and a breather and think.
2003fallwedding
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
FH's family needs to help you do this. They have to distance themselves from her too so it won't look like its just you wanting her to be separate from them. And if she doesn't get the hint, you just have to come out and say it to her.
bedda26
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
I agree you and your FH's family need to distance yourselveslf from this girl. I know she is going through things and you feel bad but now she is making your life miserable and that is not fair to you. It's a shame because you have known her since the first grade. If she was truly your friend she wouldn't be trying to take over your life. That is what it sounds like she is doing. I don't think she should be in your bridal party either. If she gets mad and doesn't speak to you then so be it, maybe she'll leave you alone that way. But then again distancing yourself from her can turn her into a 'stalker' if that happens then maybe you'll have to get a restriction order against her and so may your FH's family. I hope it doesn't come to that though.
I am so sorry you have to go through this sweetie...some hugs for you...
OctBride05
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Re: what would you do???? friend problem
thanks everyone for your advice she called me today and she had to come by to get papers that she left here and i told her i was going out so she didnt even come in the house. she called me a couple of times too but i just ignored her.
