What would you do in this situation? (Update with my response on Pg 2)

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 05, 2006 11:43 PM

What would you do in this situation? (Update with my response on Pg 2)

A friend of mine who I've known for about 5 or 6 years (but only hung out with sporadically) kept telling me about when I get married, she wanted to be invited to the wedding.

Well that time happened, and she was excited to be invited and told me every chance she got up until a few days before the wedding how she couldn't wait for the big day.

The wedding day came and went. She (and her guest that she RSVP'd with) were a complete no show and with no explanation, no phone call, no email, no congrats, NOTHING.

All of a sudden I get an email from her stating that she has moved to a new address. I am debating if I should even bother opening the email at all. Since it's via AOL, she will know if I delete it. I had all intentions of just writing her off.

What would you do?

bellaro782 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 11:47 PM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Hey .. Hun..

I would be upset as well.,.. I would open it and write to her asking why she did what she did and that's Not a friend That is very very disrespectful.. No even to call after the wedding ... I would not hold it in because then you will never know what the heck was going threw her head ...
Sometimes people are just unbelievable...

jantany26 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 11:48 PM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

I guess it all depends on how important her friendship is to you.

maybe she had a valid reason to not attend, i guess the only way to find out is to talk to her. then mayve you can make a more informed decision about keeping her as a friend.

Good Luck.

ssdbk Posted: Jul 05, 2006 11:52 PM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Open it out of your own curiousity. At this point, you should not care what she thinks anyway. Also, if you do decide to blow her off, she will know that you opened her e-mail but decided not to respond.

kam0813 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 11:55 PM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

me personally...i wouldn't be as nice as the other girls that have posted...i'd find out her reason...curse her the f*ck out for waisting an invitation you could have given to someone who really wanted to be there and the fact that you had to pay for two empty seats and then write her off

i guess i'm just a meanie

Jackie&Justin Posted: Jul 05, 2006 11:55 PM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

I would tell her off, how dare she blow you off on your big day that she was supposedly so happy about. You had to pay for 2 no shows....

conigs25 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 11:59 PM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

WOW Janna that is so messed up. I would TOTALLY want an explanation

waterspout4 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 12:21 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

I'm sorry, but that is f'ed up!!!!!!!!!

I would email her back and ask where she was. SHE F'N RSVPed!!!!!!!!!!! Moving is no reason! How many brides move and still stay on track?!?!?! She has obviously never been married, or understands what goes into planning a wedding. Please tell me she at least sent a gift. Do you want me to deal with her? My hormones are so out of whack right now that I could do some damage.

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 06, 2006 12:46 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Posted by waterspout4

Please tell me she at least sent a gift. Do you want me to deal with her? My hormones are so out of whack right now that I could do some damage.

Like I said, nothing, no gift, no card, nothing, and I don't even think she got back to anyone about my shower, either.

I'm PMSing so I'm tempted to say something like:

Thanks for giving me the new address so I know where to send the TY card to....oh yeah, that's right, you shouldn't get a TY card because you never came to the wedding!!!

waterspout4 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 01:03 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

I know the feeling. Save it for another month then let Kelly take over. Janna, I can take on some major ***!I am now off BC, so I'm out of control.

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 06, 2006 01:06 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Congrats Kelly!!!

And I hope all is well with you and Michael!!! I see your Dr. problems seem to be getting better!!

waterspout4 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 01:21 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Oddly enough, the neurologist said 'Start having babies' He said do it before 35. But now I'm hijacking the original post. Sorry. I was going to post this soon, but I thought our July 4th story was classic.

I seriously don't know what I'm doing now, I'm out of control.

BKtoLI Posted: Jul 06, 2006 01:39 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Posted by waterspout4

Oddly enough, the neurologist said 'Start having babies' He said do it before 35. But now I'm hijacking the original post. Sorry. I was going to post this soon, but I thought our July 4th story was classic.

I seriously don't know what I'm doing now, I'm out of control.

No worries!!!

I missed the 4th of July story....this year (except for August) is just about shot for me, as far as spare time is concerned......so I rarely get online now.

N.Y.bride Posted: Jul 06, 2006 02:39 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

I would definately open it. Was it a mass email or just addressed to you. Maybe something terrible happened or something embarrassing and she felt like she couldnt talk about it until now. I have no idea, but I would definately ask her.

SweetCin704 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 06:30 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Janna, Curiousity would win out for me & I'd open it. Like (I think Kerie said), she'll know you opened it & then either chose not to respond or will blast her.

I'd be hurt most of all but also pissed. If she was a close friend, I'd be totally upfront w/ her & tell her how you feel.

ewickens Posted: Jul 06, 2006 08:21 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Janna - There is a saying that's been repeated to me from time to time, that people come into your lives for reason at a certain moment and leave it when that moment is gone.

It sounds like this friend was not a true friend to you - not only did you waste your own money paying for her, but also for her guest who also did not show up and now the e-mail message.

I'm not a person who can be evil in any way - I get angry (who doesn't), but this is someone that you need to ask yourself 'Do I want to remain friends with her?' 'Do I see myself jumping in a car with her to go shopping?' 'Do I see myself wanting to go out of my way to help her out?'

If you answer no to any/all of these, then maybe just drop her a message that says thank you for your new address, I hope life is treating you well, you disappointed me with all your excitement regarding my wedding, but then never showed up, and I think it would be best that when we see one another, we can say hello, but I don't want anything else beyond that.

Good luck!!!!!!!

lipglossjunky73 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 08:31 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

WOW - Janna - that really bites!

I had a friend tell me the same thing - we have been friends for years, and she always told me she couldnt wait, etc - and then when it came time to send invites, she told me she would be busy and may not be able to come.... But at least she didnt pull a no show!!!

I would send her an email back, and state - you had time to send out an email about you moving - did you ever think of sending me an email to let me know what happened on the day of my wedding?

FallBride05 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 09:07 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Posted by ssdbk

Open it out of your own curiousity. At this point, you should not care what she thinks anyway. Also, if you do decide to blow her off, she will know that you opened her e-mail but decided not to respond.

I agree... also I'd send her a bill for the two empty plates to her new address. (j/k of course!)

sr081906 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 09:13 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

Janna, although I would not be happy with a no show, I would want to know what happened.

Maybe something happened and she had to take care of things.

Maybe she did not realize that by not showing, it would matter or that you actually paid for her plate. A lot of people don't realize you are prepaying for their meal.

ali120206 Posted: Jul 06, 2006 09:19 AM

Re: What would you do in this situation? (repost from Newlywed board)

I'd open it to see what it might say, if it's a personal email or a mass one.

I personally would be very annoyed at her though if I were you. I understand things come up sometimes between the time you RSVP and the actual wedding day so some people might not be able to make it but, you've been married two months now, you should've received some sort of explanation!