What would you do?? Need advice...

Ok, so what would you do...

for those people that came to your wedding (MAY HAVE BEEN in your wedding party) and stiffed you... not even a card?!

Do you send them a thank you? Or do you return the favor and not send them anything??

FYI - I am VERY insulted by their actions... if that helps

I had this situation, and then learned from the said person that they left the card at home and they still haven't mailed it. Oh well.

I would be the better person and send them a thank you for being part of your special day!

---

Posted by ewickens

that they left the card at home and they still haven't mailed it. Oh well.

---

Definitely a possibilty, but I have had people call me and say 'OMG! I forgot to put the card in the box, I have something for you....'

But not these certain people... nothing, no word and I've seen them a BUNCH of times after the wedding

I was thinking the same thing



I'm feeling a slight vindictive side rearing it's ugly head

Its hard to say what I'd do since I ahven't been in that situation..yet... but right now I don't think I would send them a card... after all YOU are the one who paid for their dinner and drinks and whatever else..they should send you a thank you card

Edit: unless of course they are in a bad financial situation or something..then I'd just forget about it and send a card.

You should send a thank you anyway...just thank them for being a part of your day. Either they'll realize you didn't thank them for the gift they gave and so maybe it got lost OR they'll still be clueless that they 'stiffed' you...but personally, when I think of being stiffed, I think of a waiter/waitress who gets no tip. Granted, a card would be nice, but remember, not everyone reads up on the proper guest behavior rules and knows they are supposed to bring a gift of some sort.


Just thank them for attending and sharing in your special day.

ETA-cards get lost and left at home and some people are embarrassed to admit it....DH had a friend who realized a week after our wedding that his card fell between the seats in his car and never made it in. He eventually sent it in....but at first DH was hurt thinking this close friend didn't even give a card.

---

Posted by CLMon7906

You should send a thank you anyway...just thank them for being a part of your day. Either they'll realize you didn't thank them for the gift they gave and so maybe it got lost OR they'll still be clueless that they 'stiffed' you...but personally, when I think of being stiffed, I think of a waiter/waitress who gets no tip. Granted, a card would be nice, but remember, not everyone reads up on the proper guest behavior rules and knows they are supposed to bring a gift of some sort.


Just thank them for attending and sharing in your special day.

ETA-cards get lost and left at home and some people are embarrassed to admit it....DH had a friend who realized a week after our wedding that his card fell between the seats in his car and never made it in. He eventually sent it in....but at first DH was hurt thinking this close friend didn't even give a card.

---

See... i don't believe for a second that people don't know that they 'should' bring a gift to someone's wedding. And if you have no money... fine. Still give a card. I had a friend who has no money and so she blew up a huge sunset picture she took and gave it to us (she's in college for photography). I had another friend simply give us a picture frame because that's all they could do. Fine. But nothing? not even an acknowledgement??? Sorry buddy!

And i can see that maybe it was forgotten or left in the car (this happened to us by the way). But these people told us as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. It happens and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Whats embarrassing is not giving it at all!!!!!

I'm sorry... but you've been married what... 45 days already? that's 45 days to give you an excuse or say that you forgot! The time limit has expired if you ask me!

First off, I'd be very angry b/c who doesn't like presents???
And then wouldn't send them anything. I agree with the post above that says you know to bring SOMETHING to the wedding...ANYTHING at all would be nice. Even an empty card with a meaningful poem would be ok if that's all you can afford. But to bring nothing and not acknowledge that you brought nothing by calling and appoligozing that you realized you left the card/present at home etc... means that you hoped it would just slip through the cracks that you're an a@@. Well guess what, the bride figured it out and has every right not to send you a thank you.
That's some shaddy behavior and I don't like shaddy ppl.
JMHO

---

Posted by ewickens

I had this situation, and then learned from the said person that they left the card at home and they still haven't mailed it. Oh well.

I would be the better person and send them a thank you for being part of your special day!

---

a regular guest i would be annoyed - honestly, i do not expect a gift from my brides maids, they have and are spending enough money on me and my day

---

Posted by aliwnec10

---

Posted by CLMon7906

You should send a thank you anyway...just thank them for being a part of your day. Either they'll realize you didn't thank them for the gift they gave and so maybe it got lost OR they'll still be clueless that they 'stiffed' you...but personally, when I think of being stiffed, I think of a waiter/waitress who gets no tip. Granted, a card would be nice, but remember, not everyone reads up on the proper guest behavior rules and knows they are supposed to bring a gift of some sort.


Just thank them for attending and sharing in your special day.

ETA-cards get lost and left at home and some people are embarrassed to admit it....DH had a friend who realized a week after our wedding that his card fell between the seats in his car and never made it in. He eventually sent it in....but at first DH was hurt thinking this close friend didn't even give a card.

---

See... i don't believe for a second that people don't know that they 'should' bring a gift to someone's wedding. And if you have no money... fine. Still give a card. I had a friend who has no money and so she blew up a huge sunset picture she took and gave it to us (she's in college for photography). I had another friend simply give us a picture frame because that's all they could do. Fine. But nothing? not even an acknowledgement??? Sorry buddy!

And i can see that maybe it was forgotten or left in the car (this happened to us by the way). But these people told us as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. It happens and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Whats embarrassing is not giving it at all!!!!!

I'm sorry... but you've been married what... 45 days already? that's 45 days to give you an excuse or say that you forgot! The time limit has expired if you ask me!

---

Well, according to proper wedding etiquette, they get a year to give a gift. So really, why are we being so harsh? Most girls on LIW don't even pick out a thank you card for months, why then should we demand that our guests be more punctual than us? Where on our invitations does it say 'only come if you bring cash and/or large gift'? This will turn into a fiasco if we all keep commenting.

The bottom line is this, if you don't get a gift or card from a guest, you should at least thank them for coming. They might get the hint...and they might realize you didn't get the check [and suddenly realize it wasn't cashed]...and hey, they can get lost between the car, card box and your home. We had it happen. Every possible scenario is bound to happen to most brides. We had some not give gifts or cards, some got lost at the hall, in the car, left at home...some simply waited to buy a registry gift until after the honeymoon so they would be sure of where to send it....

very well said - especially since i have been to weddings and gotten thank you card 4 to 6 months later!!!!

besides, yes, giving a gift is the proper thing to do, but you are inviting people because you want them to share in your day, that should be the reason

---

Posted by CLMon7906

---

Posted by aliwnec10

---

Posted by CLMon7906

You should send a thank you anyway...just thank them for being a part of your day. Either they'll realize you didn't thank them for the gift they gave and so maybe it got lost OR they'll still be clueless that they 'stiffed' you...but personally, when I think of being stiffed, I think of a waiter/waitress who gets no tip. Granted, a card would be nice, but remember, not everyone reads up on the proper guest behavior rules and knows they are supposed to bring a gift of some sort.


Just thank them for attending and sharing in your special day.

ETA-cards get lost and left at home and some people are embarrassed to admit it....DH had a friend who realized a week after our wedding that his card fell between the seats in his car and never made it in. He eventually sent it in....but at first DH was hurt thinking this close friend didn't even give a card.

---

See... i don't believe for a second that people don't know that they 'should' bring a gift to someone's wedding. And if you have no money... fine. Still give a card. I had a friend who has no money and so she blew up a huge sunset picture she took and gave it to us (she's in college for photography). I had another friend simply give us a picture frame because that's all they could do. Fine. But nothing? not even an acknowledgement??? Sorry buddy!

And i can see that maybe it was forgotten or left in the car (this happened to us by the way). But these people told us as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. It happens and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Whats embarrassing is not giving it at all!!!!!

I'm sorry... but you've been married what... 45 days already? that's 45 days to give you an excuse or say that you forgot! The time limit has expired if you ask me!

---

Well, according to proper wedding etiquette, they get a year to give a gift.

---

A year? Please... that is ridiculous!

---

Posted by aliwnec10

---

Posted by CLMon7906

---

Posted by aliwnec10

---

Posted by CLMon7906

You should send a thank you anyway...just thank them for being a part of your day. Either they'll realize you didn't thank them for the gift they gave and so maybe it got lost OR they'll still be clueless that they 'stiffed' you...but personally, when I think of being stiffed, I think of a waiter/waitress who gets no tip. Granted, a card would be nice, but remember, not everyone reads up on the proper guest behavior rules and knows they are supposed to bring a gift of some sort.


Just thank them for attending and sharing in your special day.

ETA-cards get lost and left at home and some people are embarrassed to admit it....DH had a friend who realized a week after our wedding that his card fell between the seats in his car and never made it in. He eventually sent it in....but at first DH was hurt thinking this close friend didn't even give a card.

---

See... i don't believe for a second that people don't know that they 'should' bring a gift to someone's wedding. And if you have no money... fine. Still give a card. I had a friend who has no money and so she blew up a huge sunset picture she took and gave it to us (she's in college for photography). I had another friend simply give us a picture frame because that's all they could do. Fine. But nothing? not even an acknowledgement??? Sorry buddy!

And i can see that maybe it was forgotten or left in the car (this happened to us by the way). But these people told us as soon as we got back from the honeymoon. It happens and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. Whats embarrassing is not giving it at all!!!!!

I'm sorry... but you've been married what... 45 days already? that's 45 days to give you an excuse or say that you forgot! The time limit has expired if you ask me!

---

Well, according to proper wedding etiquette, they get a year to give a gift.

---

A year? Please... that is ridiculous!

---

I agree...but everytime a bride says: should i send a TY to my guest who didn't give a gift/card, someone points out they get a year to give a gift. Normally, it's not me. I think that is kind of pushing it...but on the other hand, I also think waiting 6 months to send a TY is pushing it. That's just me.

---

Posted by sunshine1813

I would NOT send them a thank especially if they were in the wedding party and you got them a bridal gift. In my opinion, they don't deserve it.

---

a bridal gift is nice, but think of all of the time, money, and hours of listening to us they endure during OUR wedding. As a bridesmaid myself, i know how much money i have spent, time it took for me to help my friend ( i made her centerpieces and printed her envelopes), paid a lot of money for her shower, my hair, my makeup - literally over $1000 so i think when we are thinking of what others should do for us as a bride, we should remember how it felt to be a bridesMAID

OK, first of all, this particular BM didn't help me (personally) with anything. Sure she participated in the shower and the bachelorette party, but that was it! I can remember maybe 4 times through out the year of planning that she even asked how everything was going, and I don't think she even asked if there was anything she could help with.

Do I 'expect' a gift? Absolutely not. Do I expect a card congratulating me and DH? Absoutely. The amount of money I spent on BM gifts, the amount of money we paid for the wedding alone, I should think I am entitled to at least a congratulatory card! I had people flying in from the west coast who have absolutely NO money and they still managed to put 20$ in a card. Now to me, that was unnecessary for them to do being their circumstances, but it touched me more than anything that I could have received.

I guess I'm just SHOCKED that this person wouldn't even have the decency to put a card in the box. That would have been absolutely fine with me. I don't expect ANYONE to give a monetary or material gift at all. It's just the principal.

---

Posted by beeinsilly

a bridal gift is nice, but think of all of the time, money, and hours of listening to us they endure during OUR wedding. As a bridesmaid myself, i know how much money i have spent, time it took for me to help my friend ( i made her centerpieces and printed her envelopes), paid a lot of money for her shower, my hair, my makeup - literally over $1000 so i think when we are thinking of what others should do for us as a bride, we should remember how it felt to be a bridesMAID

---

NONE of this took place in my situation.

PLUS!! The WHOLE time at the rehearsal dinner her cellphone was on the table and she was constantly text messaging people and even went outside to talk for a whole bunch of time and missed the whole giving out of the gifts!!