What would you do? (sorry a little long)

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Posted by MrsList09

I completely agree with you and your response. She probably just wanted attention and for you to beg her not to back out. Now that you haven't begged her, she's crawling back.

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Thanks so much, because I do feel really bad about this, but I plan on sticking to my guns on this one. She is soooooooooo attention seeking, which I thought she could give a rest for one time in her life. Not to sound like a zilla or anything, but this is supposed to be them supporting me now, not me babying her.

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Posted by allegracristina

You're right. She is being so selfish and immature. Let her be, you don't need people like that in your BP.

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Thanks, I know that in my mind, it just ***** that it has to be this way. She chose this and now she's blaming me.

Awww, I'm sorry you are dealing with so much drama, especially with such a close friend! Just in my opinion, it comes down to if you want to repair the friendship or if you are going to let it go. 15 years of friendship seems like a lot to throw away because she got her feelings hurt and decided to act like a child. It was horrible to act that way, but it sounds like you were close friends before hand, and I think everyone's entitled to a mess up or 2. If you still treasure her friendship, I would work to repair it. Even if you have made other plans for the wedding, try calling her and talking about it with her. Explain to her how you feel and that she really hurt you by just deciding not to be a part of the bridal party on such an important day. You might even point out how silly it is to let one day ruin your 15 year friendship. That might put it in perspective for her.

That does **** to go through something like that. It is your wedding and I would stick to your ground. It seems like you know her pretty well and well you don't want a 'downer' at your wedding or around you while you are planning a great day in your life. I also went through something similar with 2 friends actually, both were different situations but neither was in my bridal party- I think that was the ones issue. And the one was a long friendship it may have been as long as your 15 years or long. Weddings are a time of great joy and also true reflection times you learn who the true far weathered friends are and those who are only there for you when they find it convenient for them etc. I do not think you have anything to apoligize for- I do think it is your choice if you wouldn't like to talk to her more about it and clarify... and if she would like to come to the wedding or help in another way, if you two work things out but she had her chance in the BP and she pulled out.

GL

I know that it is a reall shame to let go of 15 years of friendship, but I don't know if this is just a part of friends growing apart. I really want to feel like I have people that are wishing me well around me that day , particularly in my bp. I have tried talking to her and will continue to do so, but probably not about this any more.

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Posted by Emily0423

Ohhh definitely no!! Don't beg or give her any attention she may want!! I met someone like that and she surely is not coming or being part of my wedding.. Its your wedding you don't want to be stressed out..

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And stressed out I am!

i totally agree with your response. i don't know her, or you, but do you really want to surround yourself with this type of senseless drama?! you need to just be happy and celebrate and share this with people that feel the same. don't get dragged into her drama, i just don' think it's worth it. go be happy and be at peace with your response because i think it was the right one!

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Posted by shyavon81

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Posted by MrsList09

I completely agree with you and your response. She probably just wanted attention and for you to beg her not to back out. Now that you haven't begged her, she's crawling back.

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Thanks so much, because I do feel really bad about this, but I plan on sticking to my guns on this one. She is soooooooooo attention seeking, which I thought she could give a rest for one time in her life. Not to sound like a zilla or anything, but this is supposed to be them supporting me now, not me babying her.

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Stick to your guns girl!!!

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Posted by mandyandbrian

i totally agree with your response. i don't know her, or you, but do you really want to surround yourself with this type of senseless drama?! you need to just be happy and celebrate and share this with people that feel the same. don't get dragged into her drama, i just don' think it's worth it. go be happy and be at peace with your response because i think it was the right one!

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ITA This sounds so much like high school drama....and how needs that!!
On your wedding day you need to surround yourself with people who truly love you and support you.

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Posted by shyavon81

My friend (?!?!?!) of 15 years has been acting really 'funny' for the past several months. I kinda feel that it's not that she isn't happy for me, but rather she is feeling sorry for herself. I say this because, she's the type of person that gets a bit happy when she hears that things aren't going your way (misery loves company). You can hear the happiness in her voice when you tell her something like you and your FI are fighting. So anyway, we got into a bit of a disagreement as we have several times before, but this time she decides that she is going to go for the jugular and remove herself from the wedding party. She told a mutual friend that since it is my wedding I should be the one to call her and ask her if she is going to be back in the bridal party. I don't agree. I feel like she took herself out and now if she wants back in she should be the one to say so. If I was the one to kick her out, then I would be the one that would need to reach out. Now at the advice of our friend she finely decides to address the issue. So now six months later she brings it back up by texting me 'Do you need my measurements?' I responded 'You decided that you didn't want to be a part of the bridal party so I have made other arrangements' (which I have). What do you ladies think?

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wow! as sad as it seems, this is when you see people's true colors. in my opinion life is way too short now to be dealing with childish antics, i wouldnt stress myself trying to run and patch things up with someone who made the CHOICE to remove themselves from one of the most important days of my life.

she needs to take a step back and realize what she has done, its not your job to make her see that. I would focus on working on planning your wedding. you have more important things to worry about, before you know it your wedding will be here, don't regret wasting precious time worrying about someone else's selfishness. JMO though, hope all works out

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Posted by tonysbride09

Don't second guess yourself. YOU WERE NOT WRONG!!! She should not have taken herself out to begin with but then to wait 6 months to say something is even worse. Its already a stressful time without her adding to it. I know its many years of friendship but what happens if she has a fit right before the wedding and leaves you hanging. Maybe you should tell her that you had to make other arrangements b/c you hadn't heard from her in months but you would still like for her to attend you wedding as a guest.

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Her flaking out toward the wedding was another big concern.

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Posted by MrsList09

I completely agree with you and your response. She probably just wanted attention and for you to beg her not to back out. Now that you haven't begged her, she's crawling back.

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I agree. Explain you asked to be out of the party and you respected that decision and have since found a replacement. tell her you hope that she can still make the wedding that you would love to see her there.

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Posted by wundmoretime

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Posted by MrsList09

I completely agree with you and your response. She probably just wanted attention and for you to beg her not to back out. Now that you haven't begged her, she's crawling back.

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I agree. Explain you asked to be out of the party and you respected that decision and have since found a replacement. tell her you hope that she can still make the wedding that you would love to see her there.

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I will extend the invitation, but she has previously told our friend that she's not sure she will even attend!