What would you do? Sorry kinda long

I just found out that my grandmother, who I love more than anything else may arrive in New York the morning of my wedding (I'm getting married at 11:30 am) and leaving as soon as they eat (which is a buffet dinner). Here's my problem, they are driving from Ohio to Pennsylvania, staying with my cousin there and then off to me, for maybe 3 hours. My uncle who's 91 is driving, gets confused sometimes and ends up on the wrong side of the road. My cousin in PA, is happy he's going to break up the trip but it was supposed to they would go to PA on Friday. Leave for NY on Saturday. Stay here Saturday and Sunday nights and go back to PA on Monday, and Ohio on Tuesday.
I want to tell her not to bother....it's a ten hour drive and not really worth it if they really aren't going to stay. Plus I will have paid for four plates and will lose the money. At the same time my grandmother was diagnosed with leukemia a couple of months ago, and I may not be able to get to Ohio for awhile, so I really want to see her.

Do I say nothing and be happy she came at all?

The money thing really isn't the issue, driving is. None of us want them driving at all, but they refuse to fly. Plus the day of my wedding I'm going to worry about whether or not they will be arriving safely (it's the first time my uncle will be driving into Long Island).

Ladies I need your advice and hugs. TIA

Have they considered taking the train - maybe offer to pay for the train for them or a flight. It would be a shame for your grandmother to miss the wedding. Did you strongly suggest they leave a day earlier?

Sorry for your dilema it will work out - I wouldn't tell her not to come that may really hurt her

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Posted by reenielady

Have they considered taking the train - maybe offer to pay for the train for them or a flight. It would be a shame for your grandmother to miss the wedding. Did you strongly suggest they leave a day earlier?

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We have offered to pay for them to fly.....they refuse to be without a car. And on Tuesday I was told they would be here for two nights and last night it was they were only coming and leaving as soon as they ate. Which is why I feel like crying.

this must reallly stink...IMO i wouldnt want my 90 year old uncle driving everyone to my wedding........this does sound like a very long trip for them.....since you offered to pay for their flight what about maybe a car service from Pennsylvania?

if the problem is that they won't be without a car -- can you offer to rent them a car while they're here and tell them you'll pay for train or air fare?


Otherwise, is there someone else that you know would be willing to drive with them to long island so that you at least feel some peace of mind?

sorry that you're in this situation -- i hope it all works out!

I would have your parents talk to her and have her come early, why is she rushing in and out? Is there somethign else she needs to go to? I understand you don't want them driving, suggest a train ride instead? Hope it all works out!
XOXOXO
Kitty

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Posted by mskittynj

I would have your parents talk to her and have her come early, why is she rushing in and out? Is there somethign else she needs to go to? I understand you don't want them driving, suggest a train ride instead? Hope it all works out!
XOXOXO
Kitty

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Yes, I was going to say this too - get your parents involved in this one.

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Posted by bride2b24

this must reallly stink...IMO i wouldnt want my 90 year old uncle driving everyone to my wedding........this does sound like a very long trip for them.....since you offered to pay for their flight what about maybe a car service from Pennsylvania?

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I was going to suggest a car service, too. Your grandmother obviously means so much to you, and I wouldn't feel comfortable that a 90+ year old man is doing SO much driving in a short amount of time. By the way... what's the rush? Why can't they stay over the night of the wedding?