Are the bm's helping to pay for the shower as well? Or just the gift? Regardless, IMHO, I think $125 is too much to ask for. Between buying the bm dress, getting an e-gift, the shower, the bachelorette party, hair and makeup and a wedding gift, the girls will have a ton of expenses. I know that when you agree to be in someone's wedding you know that there will be expenses, but you shouldn't have to break the bank to be there for your friend.
As her sister, I would spend as much as you like, but I think that's way too much to ask of her bridal party....
I don't mean to come off as a cheap b!tch, I've just been on both sides, and it gets really really expensive!
Kara and Todd
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
I completely agree. That's too much to expect everyone to contribute.
If you want to have them all chip in for something, ask them what they can afford to spend / what they will contribute. Don't ask for that much money. Some people can't afford as much as others. The girls in my BP have incomes ranging from maybe $20,000 a year to over $100,000 a year. Not everyone can afford to spend that much.
Mrs.D08
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
It should not be $125, that's too much, everyone might not be able to afford it. Why don't u let each BM buy her a gift off her registry that way she'll get more gifts and no one will feel obligated to the $125.
laural2979
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
Posted by Mrs.D08
It should not be $125, that's too much, everyone might not be able to afford it. Why don't u let each BM buy her a gift off her registry that way she'll get more gifts and no one will feel obligated to the $125.
I agree. While it is nice to get a big group gift, I wouldn't be happy if I was required to contribute that much money. Being in a BP gets very expensive.
KandR419
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
When I was in my friends wedding in Oct, we split the cost of a kitchen aid mixer btwn. us, and then if you wanted to get any additional attachments or baking sheets, etc., that would be something from each individual girl. I do agree though that things really do add up, so maybe a slightly lower fixed amount might be more do-able for everyone
Lools
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
hmmm interesting... my 2 cousins who are also in the BP thought we should be spending around $150 per person. Which I thought was definitely too much. When I attend a shower as a guest I usually spend about $100 on a gift. As the BP I thought we'd pitch in a little bit more than a regular guest. My sister has 7 BMs. hmmm.....
anyone else?
Lools
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
Posted by nycgirl79
Are the bm's helping to pay for the shower as well? Or just the gift? Regardless, IMHO, I think $125 is too much to ask for. Between buying the bm dress, getting an e-gift, the shower, the bachelorette party, hair and makeup and a wedding gift, the girls will have a ton of expenses. I know that when you agree to be in someone's wedding you know that there will be expenses, but you shouldn't have to break the bank to be there for your friend.
As her sister, I would spend as much as you like, but I think that's way too much to ask of her bridal party....
I don't mean to come off as a cheap b!tch, I've just been on both sides, and it gets really really expensive!
My mother and I are paying for the shower. BMs are just contributing toward the gift.
I'm also planning to get her something extra since I am her sister. We had decided to have the family members in the BP obsolve more of the cost in order to ask $125 from the BMs. My cousins and I will be paying $146 per person toward the BP gift.
The thing is my sister REALLY wants these items off her registry and I highly doubt any guest will spend that much on one item. And I don't blame them. Which is why my cousins and I thought the BP could get them.
GinaZ
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
I dont think there is a set amount- it depends on personal finances. if you have a million dollars- it would be nice if you spent more! :) But if you are making $25,000 a year, what you are spending is extremly generous!
kittythestray
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
I guess I'm in the minority because I would have no problem with that. I would give a gift of that amount or more on my own. All my BMs spent about $200 on their gifts to me AND also paid for my shower and I only had 4. I did not ask for this, that’s just what they just did. I think it’s fine especially since they don’t need to contribute to the actual cost of the shower, but only you know the girls. If there’s a BM who will have issue with it hopefully she’s be comfortable enough to let you know.
jeanla4c
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
I think it depends on what they can contribute and if they are contributing to shower etc.
When I was getting my masters and in (many) weddings I tended to give less expensive shower gifts but tried to make them personally meaningful.
imas98
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Lools
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Posted by kittythestray
I guess I'm in the minority because I would have no problem with that. I would give a gift of that amount or more on my own. All my BMs spent about $200 on their gifts to me AND also paid for my shower and I only had 4. I did not ask for this, that’s just what they just did. I think it’s fine especially since they don’t need to contribute to the actual cost of the shower, but only you know the girls. If there’s a BM who will have issue with it hopefully she’s be comfortable enough to let you know.
Thanks kitty! The BMs had agreed that $120 range was fine since they're not having to fork over money for the party. At first my cousins and I had come up with $150 per person. They wanted to spend more. I thought $150 might be a little steep for some of the BMs and 2 of them expressed that it was and asked if I could take it down about $20-$30. Rather than getting my sis a smaller gift I decided I would tell the BMs to chip in $125 and my little sister, cousins and I would chip in $146 since we are family. Seemed like the right thing to do??
Who normally pays for the shower? I thought it was the MOH and/or the bride's mother?
dianadrw
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
My girls spent about $100 each on the bridal party gift. Some of my girls also got me additional gifts on their own. My mom paid for the shower. Honestly, I don't think $125 is too much especially if they are not paying for the shower. If I was in a good friend's wedding I'd spend that much alone on a gift.
DanNette
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
Honestly, I know a lot of people are saying $125 is too much, but it really depends on your friends. Some may be in school and can't afford it, others may be able to do that easily. I would feel them out, maybe suggest the chipping in for the luggage and if people want to spend a little more, suggest adding the stand mixer. I think it is safe to assume that $125 is definitely on the higher end of the BM spending spectrum.
Lools
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
OK I'm looking at wedding etiquette online and most sites say that the MOH and Bridesmaids host the shower. If this is really true and is followed then the BMs would be asked to spend much more than $125. After reading this I don't feel bad at all about asking for $125 since I'm paying for the shower.
Bridex100
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Re: What's the average amount BMs should spend on
You are her sister and could buy her the high ticket items on your own if you would like. I don't think you should ask the other BMs to chip in.
I earn a decent salary so I personally would not mind chipping in the $125 but I know for some people, that is a lot.
I've been in weddings where a lot of BMs were constantly complaining about the money. I am paying for the BM dresses and tried to limit what the BMs spend. Even though they didn't pay for anything as of yet, I still would not expect them to pay $125 for my bridal shower gift.
You have to keep in mind that they will buy a wedding gift on top of the bridal shower gift.
I personally think you should buy the luggage by yourself and let the BP buy other items off her registry as fitting to their budget. If other BMs want to pull together and buy something bigger, they can make that decision themselves.
