What's the deal with tipping priests?

Apparently FMIL said people have been telling her you have to tip them like $400 or they get mad. What? That doesn't seem right on any level! And then I got my LIW newsletter today which said tipping an officiant is considered really poor etiquette. What to do?

Our priest is a very close friend of the family so we're not giving him money but we're going to give him a nice gift. Maybe a waterford letter opener or cufflinks or something like that.

I've never heard of giving the priest money before. A thank you gift maybe but I don't know about money. . .

Do a search on LIW for this... this has bee posted before.

The donation to the Church is typically considered a 'tip' for the priest. Other than a donation to the church, which you give to the priest at your rehearsal, I have never really heard of people tipping the priest. Officiating at weddings is part of their parish duties.

HOWEVER, you can still show your appreciation in other ways. FH and I are giving one of the priests a small gift ( a basket filled with Yankee candles--it's a joke between the 3 of us and he loves them). We are also having a second priest, not from my church, but one that is a good friend of FH's. We are giving him a more personalized gift and he will be invited to the reception as well. (I will probably invite the other priest too, out of courtesy, but I doubt he'll come).

If you are using one of those 'rent a priests' you may need to tip... i don't know... but i woudl think you're paying for their services, so i would say if you did give something it wouldnt' have to be too much.

HTH!!!