What's with all the 'ME, ME, ME' stuff?

I gotta get something off my chest.

Sometimes I am amazed by how self-centered and caught up in themselves brides can get.

I don't mean to pick on anyone in particular here, but let me give you some examples of what bugs me:

'A relative bought me (something relatively trivial to use at the wedding) and I hate it! I'm not going to use it!' and then people back her up and tell her to tell the person to return it, or not to use it at the wedding.

(To me, that's so ungrateful. Someone was trying to do something nice and meaningful for you. Suck it up and use it.)

'I don't want anyone standing up for the bridal party when they walk down the aisle-- just for ME!'

(Ugh. Who are you, the Queen of England?)

'How dare my cousin plan her wedding for the same month as mine?'

(Grow up.)

There are so many other examples, but I'll quit there.

I know this is our 'Big Day' and all, but I think there's a line... it's one thing to want things to be wonderful, and another to insist that everything must be perfect and must all center around us and our every whim.

I wanna meet some more laid back brides who just want everyone to have a good time and find that more important than whether the MOH wants to wear an ugly necklace, or whether the linens match the flowers...

So, who are you, non-self-centered brides? Come out of the woodwork and tell me about yourselves.

oh, come on! Sometimes brides to go over the board, but the truth is, wedding day is such an important day for a woman, every littlest, stupidest detail is super-important! don't worry, everyone will go back to their normal, considerate selves after the whole thing is over! I did!

I see where you are coming from, some times people go over the deep end when it comes to thiss wedding stuff. I like to think I'm not like that! I'm trying not to micro manage that day, and hopefully I won't 'go bridal' by the time April rolls around.
I'm sure everyone is much more normal when they are not planning their wedding!

I understand what you're saying but...

Looking back, I can recognize how easy it is for brides to get caught up in the small details. But when you're trying to make your day perfect, the details matter (and they are noticed and appreciated by guests). If you have a vision of something, and someone else changes that, you may very well get upset. Even if its so trivial like the wrong cake topper or favors you don't like.

Strange things start happening when wedding planning - people try to force their ideas on you, so you're always in defensive mode to protect your vision.

Keep in mind, a lot of the venting that goes on here wouldn't happen anywhere else. Its because its a community of BRIDES so people feel like they can be more self-centered and VENT. I don't judge people for needing a place to vent. And I don't think it always translates to selfish, self-centered people.

Yes, somethings are out of control. But one person's OOC is another's normal and vice versa.

I planned this day for 1 yr & 8 months, and I dreamed of this day since I was a little girl.

I can see how brides get caught up in these things.

I find myself stressing over the littlest things in my last few weeks of planning...it happens.

You may find yourself doing similar things as you get nearer to your date!

Well said LisaT. I know that I am always trying to protect my vision and also be gracious when other people tell me that my vision is wrong or something should be done this way or that way instead of the way I'm doing it. Everyone has to put in their .02 even when you don't ask for an opinion - and usually they are strangely passionate (read: argumentative) about whatever that .02 is. Pleasing (or at the very least not p***ing off) in laws who may think VERY differently from you is another stress. And, of course, most of the time we can't talk about all this stuff because we don't want others to be bored by the wedding obsession and as I said before, we have to be nice. Everyone on this board is going through the same thing and so we all understand when someone comes across as 'self-centered' (if you want to call it that) that they are just looking for a little understanding and maybe a break from always having to be gracious. That's why LI Weddings is so good - it's an open and, usually, non-judgmental arena.

I always swore that I'd NEVER be one of those brides that got too caught up in planning my wedding.
WRONG!
I became my own worst nightmare. Completely anal, a total perfectionist and definately expecting that certain demads be met in order to make my one perfect day.

It's hard not to. I started out relatively easygoing but I think that in the last month or two I'd definately morphed into a total Bridezilla. LOL.

LisaT is right though, in that we come here to vent and be self centered about our weddings because we CAN and because this is a community where other brides will empathize because they're equally as self-centered about their own weddings. I don't know what I would have done if not for these boards. (No one else would listen)

I highly doubt that any of us are nearly as anal in our real lives as most of us are about our weddings.

Well i like to consider myself a 'laid back bride'. i am not a big fuss person, all i want is nicce weather, everyone to enjoy themselves and be there to celebrate the big day.
Of course I will try to make everythig perfect but i dont want to get myself sick over it. Another reason for this is it is sometimes impossible for me to put all my energy in to the wedding b/c I work and go to school, as I know alot of other brides do and its a heavy load.One reason i dont want to get too caught up in it all is because i dont want to be one of those girls who has nothing to talk about now that their wedding is over it is not consuming my life.
Everyone handles situations different there is no right or wrong.

Okay, I'll shut up now.

I do understand when things are important or sentimental, or whatever... but I don't get the whole Queen of the World attitude. Just bothers me. But who knows? Maybe I'll get more caught up in all the things I consider to be petty details as I get closer to the wedding.

I feel sad. I've never been much good at being a girl. Never had many close girlfriends. I guess I'm looking for some girlfriends here, and I still feel 'different.' I don't shop, I don't wear makeup, I couldn't care less about china patterns, I only own three pairs of shoes... so all this 'I must have the perfect table linens' stuff just makes my head spin. Sigh.

I just have to stick in...a wedding as large as the ones most of us are planning, I'm sure including you, is in itself a 'me me me' thing. Everything about it, no matter what you do, is about YOU.

violetfairy, I'm with you on this. I think I'm actually a little too relaxed about mine. I feel stupid in my dress and heels because they just arent' me, my mom wants to know 'what color my hair will be?' because right now it's purple. I don't care about the flowers. All I want is to look pretty (which I will in my boring, $300 dress) eat good food, have a decent DJ and everyone can get drunk and fat and have a good night I went to the bridal store the other day just to look at veils and such and I had to walk out cause I couldn't take the other 2 brides that were there.

I thought I was the only one

Eternity... it must be the purple hair... I had purple hair, too. (And red, and blue, and pink, and green at different times... couldn't believe it, but the green looked great!)

When FI met me, my hair was hot pink and I had an eyebrow ring. He was a schoolteacher. He keeps a lock of my pink hair in his car.

Anyway. Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone!

My closest girlfriend was the most laid back bride in the entire world, and I want to be just like her. I was one of her bridesmaids, and she was totally cool-headed and fun to be around the whole time, never putting any pressure on anybody. She is my Bride Idol.

I laid back but this board serves its purpose.

Where else can you go and talk about these things. You cant say it to your family and friends. So we come here and complain

I got caught up in it also...I guess its this atticipation of being the center of attention , everyone watching your every mood. I admit I got a little crazy with all the details ... My sister was 3 months pregnant when I got married and I was at the time very mad... Then my beautiful nephew was born on Sept 12, 2001 and after the events of 9/11 ... I missed his bris and sometimes there are things more important.. but thats just me...
I got caught up on planning the perfect wedding.. I wanted it all... But I knew see that I am tame compared to a friend that was married after me and I was a bridemaid in her wedding... she was such a b**ch on her wedding day i though I was going to smack her....So just remember the whole reason we said yes in the first place.. to marry the most important person in our lives and Make the wedding the way you want it... Wear a bathing suit, get married in Las Vegas...This is your wedding.. do it the way you want...Not the way society or the media says we have to....

Jenna don't shut up, you made a valid point that alot of us can agree on. I never dreamed of my wedding when I was a little girl, and sometimes I feel a little weird about it. At first I was the anti-bride, I was sooo not into all this! But as I started planning I started getting excited about it. Your wedding will be great, because of what you are celebrating! Just because you are not all crazy into this doesn't mean anything.

Bride idol, I love that!

If you're on this board, your prob. not as laid back as you think ! I am a totally laid back person, working in the non-profit industry at that, and I want my family and friends, and my hubby and me to enjoy ourselves. I paid for some of my bm dresses, told them to pick the dress in fact.....until....

Until I had problems with my catering hall, spent a ton of money, and found myself awake at night over font colors! I couldn't believe it...

I'm still pretty laid back, but have begun to expect good service and to realize that I'm actually going to care if the cake falls over!

I am mixed. Certain things I see myself becoming really anal on like vendors payments. I have payments down to a science and how much to save each week for the payment (our hall we have to pay every 3 months so I have it down to if we save x amount of dollars a week when the payment is due we'll have the money)

as for the 'Me Me Me' stuff i want certain things that make our wedding just that our wedding. I want a specific garter, cake topper, cake cutting set. I want a specific invitation and a few specific songs to be played during the night. I want a pretty white dress, with a long train and a long veil.

I hate being center of attention at times so for the wedding day I just want to blend in with the guests, which would be kinda hard since I am sure I'll stand out in a wedding dress. For church I do want that one moment where everyone stands for me because everyone is so used to seeing me in jeans and T's or dress pants. I wear a skirt or dresses occassionally so I want that one moment when I walk into the church and everyone sees me for the first time in a big white dress.

For registering I could care less. I want a blendar and coffee maker and he wants pots and pans.

I told my matron at the reception if you can't find me on the dance floor look for me at the bar, and she said to me i'll be next to you at the bar.

I am mixed on things. My main concentration right now is praying my FI gets his transfer for Florida, then we can concentrate on our house being built.

To us yea we are both excited about the wedding and sharing it with our friends and family, but in the end the cake will be eaten, the flowers will die and our feet will hurt from dancing so we'll make it as special as we can but we're not devoting every second of everyday to planning. We just want a nice day and lots of drinking and eating