and you are mad/think you are right....How long do you wait until you give in and make-up????
shamma
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
When he is unhappy I am unhappy so it doesn''t pay to walk around with all of that anger. I hate to be at a standstill, I love to get an issue resolved and move past it.
I love to talk and get past any situations that causes us to be tense in our home. I would pull that stuff with boyfriends when I was younger.
When you live with someone you cannot play those kinds of games. I intend to be with him for the long haul and dragging out silly unecessary arguments only drives a wedge between us and draws us further apart. I am all for the opposite.
Of course this is a mature, newer me speaking, the old Shamma would have carried it on for days. My attitude was let him grovel. But who does that benefit.
jenny2penny
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
I usually try to talk things out too, but he really pissed me off this time! (we live together) I am glad we both work today, so I can cool off
shamma
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
Jenny and this too shall pass. You have the rest of your life to argue with him. Hope it passes quickly. I know sometimes our men can really push our buttons. You have to keep it all in perspective. Will it matter one year from today???
LisaT
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
thats a great point Shamma - keep it in perspective! Very important for a good marriage.
jenny2penny
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
shamma.....you are taking away me steam
No 'this too shall pass', but I want him to learn. I think I''ve made my point, haven''t talked to him since last night (which is so not like us, no kiss hello/good-bye from me either )
shamma
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
Don''t cut off your nose to spite your face, you are missing out on good kisses and hugs and all that good loving.
Don''t you know you do not hurt anyone but yourself when you hold a grudge.
PS if your FI values you, which I am sure he does, if something bothers you and you tell him why continue holding the grudge?? will it change what has already happened??? Remember no matter what you do if he refuses to change how he behaves no amount of not speaking/kissing will make him do it. People usually change on their own not b/c of pressure or any other tactics. If they do it is all temporary. Call the man and make up.
has anyone seen that commercial with the couple fighting and then the huband text messages her in the meeting...
it makes me cry...
DH and I can''t be mad for more than 10 min...I don''t know what it would be like for days...
shamma
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
THe funny thing is Erica, you are miserable when you try to make your spouse miserable and you cannot have a good day.
I have never seen that commercial
Claud2001
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
Erica, I think that commercial is so sweet...
And, I know for me...I cannot be mad at Jeff for all that time...it would consume me! I need to know that he understands me (even if he disagrees) and vice versa.
Shamma, you are so wise and thoughtful!
Also, even if Jeff and I are in a disagreement, I *never* withhold affection from him b/c it is not a healthy example for our son, AND - God forbid something happened to one of us while we were apart...I''d never forgive myself for passing up that chance to say, 'I love you.'
Life is too short to be angry! Share the love!!
kmcwed
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
My DH and I won''t walk away until the situation is resolved. If we get off the phone still angry, it''s only a few minutes before one of us calls the other and we start making up.
Life''s just too short, and we love each other too much to play games or 'punish' each other, or 'make each other suffer.'
That''s not to say we don''t THINK or FEEL those things, after all we''re human! But we don''t carry them out. You have to be mature enough to choose a healthy behavior, even when you feel like giving the silent treatment, or throwing plates.
In my opinion, those games aren''t even good to play when your single. But when you''re married, they could be toxic to your marriage.
shamma
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
Karen, my favorite pix is back. Welcome
kmcwed
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
Shamma...
LisaT
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Posted by yabbobay
DH and I can''''t be mad for more than 10 min...I don''''t know what it would be like for days...
thats us too. I HATE being mad at him - I need to work it out and get past it.
Like everyone said, life''s too short to hold grudges or waste time being angry.
Diane
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
Hubby and I promised that if we figt, NEVER to go to bed angry with each other, and we NEVER do
Jen_n_Dale
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
I hate being in a fight too long. He usually takes it a lot worse and will feel bad for a day if he is the one that started.
larryswife2be
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
I should definitely take heed to Shamma''s advice and not hold grudges for so long
Claud2001
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
This is a humorous little piece of advice that a long married couple emparted to our Engaged Encounter couples....
Whenever you have a heated argument, and can''t seem to resolve it will both people happy...STRIP! The fight is GUARANTEED not to last much longer, and you''ll have a difficult time remembering why you were so angry with one another!
HearzBellz
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
That is a great idea, claud. I will have to remember that.
I can be a pretty angry person, so when we fight I try to resolve it a quick as possible, without any guilt trips or anything. It just makes sense to solve it.
Maribelle7777
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Re: When you fight with FH/DH....
shamma I agree with you in that i like to get things resolved but fh is STUBBORN and it''s hard to resolve things with him because he refuses to listen sometimes! i sometimes do the thing where i go to bed and i don''t kiss him goodnight or i will but he knows i''m pissed and i''ll just act disinterested. it''s to let him know i''m disappointed in his actions. i mean if i acted like things were ok then he''d think i''m caving into his stubborness and i don''t want him to think that it''s ok to act like that.
