When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

Sage10.03 Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:34 PM

When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

and you can't seem to come to a compromise without fighting...what do you girls do to resolve things???

NovemberSue Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:36 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

We drop the subject.

Jenny5150 Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:37 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

go shopping

shamma Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:40 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

I write out how I am feeling, b/c I tend to get emotional and cry then we discuss it later. We have agreed to disagree before. As long as I feel as if I am listened to and heard. I am fine. Oh then I can always vent to my girls.

DrmnBlnd Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:41 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

We drop the subject also...

endlessluv429 Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:43 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

cry--then he feels bad and gives in! LOL j/k we try to talk it out and come to a compromise-

balilove Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:43 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

Luckily we have been able to come to a compromise on all disagreements thus far. When it gets too heated I usually take a break for a few hours so I can calm down and gather my thoughts. FH and I also have some 'rules' about arguments..no name calling, cursing or straying from the issue.

WithThisRing Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:47 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

yell.

then we take a breather and wait till we are both more calmier to discuss why we disagree and then come to a compromise

Sage10.03 Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:49 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

Yeah...I pretty much do the same thing...

SHamma - I am like you....I get emotional and cry...

BUT what if the subject is something you can't just 'drop'??? Like a decision that will affect you both in the future....

Here is the thing...we are looking at houses to buy and FH wants to buy a multi-family home as an investment and I just want to buy a single family home just for us....
We are going in circles talking about it....

HELP!

Sage10.03 Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:54 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

bump

WithThisRing Posted: Feb 21, 2003 03:59 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

you both have good points.

I bought land and we're building a house, and real estate is a huge investment. If you pay so much now, come 5 years when you have put equity in the house you'll get almost double what you paid for it. He does have a point for the investment.

you have a valid point as well as wanting it to be your house, just you and him and a family.

its something you and him have to talk about. i will say though anything with real estate is always a huge investment.

(we're looking to buy more land in FL because the area we are looking at land is so inexpensive and in 5 years it will be more then doubled. Our land the value has gone up 2k since we bought it a year ago. Real estate is a great investment)

But talk to him. Ask him why he wants the multi family? is he planning for 25 years from now, is he planning for now??

definatly sit and talk about your short term and long term goals for a house whether it be single or multi family

NIHA Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:01 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

One word:

ACCEPTANCE

Thrilled Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:17 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

I sometimes have to take a step back and truly really decide if whatever it is means that much to me. If it's truly not a big deal at the end of the day, I let it go. If it's a really big to me, I stand my ground and cry when I have to...freaks him out. I don't use it as a manipulation tool - I truly get so upset that I cry. Usually when something makes me cry I know it's something I feel very strongly about.

nrvbrd Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:18 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

I have been with FH for over 9 years, and believe you me we have had more than our share of disagreements. Communication and Compromise is key in any relationship along with give and take and respect and consideration of each other's feelings.

Suzanne Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:18 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

'celebrate' Shamma that joke was for you!!

NovemberSue Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:22 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

We brawl! (just kidding)
We wait a while and then discuss it again and come to a compromise.

starhead Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:28 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

I've also been w/ fh for almost 9 years and communication is definitely the key. Both people have to be ready to talk things through rationally and without yelling.

susans Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:41 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

We agree to disagree, and then, like Jenny5150, I go shopping.

Becky Posted: Feb 21, 2003 04:48 PM

Re: When you REALLY disagree with FH about something......

We argue, but no yelling or cursing. Then one of us, usually me, walks away from the argument. After a while we start to joke around about it and then we either come to a decision or agree to think about it for a little longer.

I completely sympathize with the house argument. FH and I went a few rounds last month when we had to decide how long to renew our lease. I wanted a year becuase that will give us enough time to save 20% to put down and he wanted to wait six months and put a smaller percentage down so that we can stop paying rent. It took a while, but I finally convinced him that 20% is something we can accomplish. Also, I had to agree to let him buy a big screen TV when we move in, which I did not want to do.

It is tough when you disagree on something so basic like 'where are we going to live,' but I am sure that it will work out with time, and probably a few more discussions.