Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
cluelessbride
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Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
He really is the worst procrastinator and he has very little to do.
4 months to go and he has not asked his GMs to be in the bridal party
so obviously no tuxes have been ordered, or even looked at
it was like pulling teeth to get him to help me choose readings
I'm getting really angry
MamanDaddyof2
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
well we are just beginning but so far FH HAS WENT TO 14 RECEPTION HALLS AND HAS BEEN CALLING AND LOOKING ONLINE AT VENDORS (LIKE I SAID WE ARE JUST STARTING) HE IS REALLY EXCITED
MrsK-in-June05
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
guys don't take asking groomsmen as serious as us brides do with bm's!! mine asked his brother to be best man in the car on the way to a wake. he asked his groomsmen only after i begged him for two weeks. i think he just wants to show up at the wedding and everything done for him. he just needs to know who the checks get made out to and he is happy!
Monkeybride
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
Here's what my friend told me when I said 'I am planning MY wedding not OURS' and she said it is Your wedding.
Guys just don't care about the details. He does need to pick GM but the rest just let it go, trust me you will be alot happier.
I have picked all the detail. FH has picked tuxes and reception hall. It doesn't mean he loves you any less. Weddings are just not a guy thing. And just think if he complains about anything you can always say I asked for your help but you didn't care so no complaining allowed.
Janine24
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
don't get mad... weddings are a lot more involved for a girl that for a guy...
palebride
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
I don't know, I would have been really really angry if my husband hadn't involved himself in the wedding planning. I wouldn't use that whole 'it's not a guy thing' excuse - I think a man not getting involved in planning 'the start of a new life' is ridiculous. i don't know if i could have married a man who didn't care about our wedding day. i think you need to sit down with him and explain what you are feeling, and let him know that you're feeling neglected. JMO
amy0405
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
I know exactly what you mean. Ive said to FH that if I stopped planning, organizing, scheduling, he would walk into a half planned wedding.
cluelessbride
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
Posted by palebride
I don't know, I would have been really really angry if my husband hadn't involved himself in the wedding planning. I wouldn't use that whole 'it's not a guy thing' excuse - I think a man not getting involved in planning 'the start of a new life' is ridiculous. i don't know if i could have married a man who didn't care about our wedding day. i think you need to sit down with him and explain what you are feeling, and let him know that you're feeling neglected. JMO
This is how I feel!
He likes to be included in some things - he was interested in choosing the band and the food, and the location, but he is terrible at the details, at talking to vendors, and following through.
In his defense, I guess he just doesn't know as much as I do about planning an event, but at this point, there are things he has to get moving on that I cannot do for him (nor do I want to do them for him).
I think I have high expectations for him partly b/c I do not have a mother or MOH who is involved, so I feel overwhelmed sometimes. I wish he would recognize that I could use some of the burden to me taken off my shoulders, even if its not 'his thing'. I'll have a heart to heart talk with him about it tonight.
palebride
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
I think a talk is the best idea. My husband and I planned the wedding all ourselves...no MOH or mother help at all - not that they weren't wonderful and willing to help, but it was something we wanted to do together. I know I was lucky though - he's the kind of guy who does care about little details, and he came up with some great ideas for the wedding. And, unlinke most men (from what i've read on these boards) he LOVED picking out the flowers! Good luck
takeoutcook
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
My FH is not involved in any of the planning - granted we have a long time til the wedding, but i doubt he'll suddenly get into it as the date gets closer.
But he told me that he absolutely no stress about the marriage - he said if i wanted to go to the courthouse tomorrow and do it he'd be fine - he gets stressed about the planning of a wedding. maybe stressed isn't the right word - he doesnt really care where we have the reception as much as I do - he doesnt have a limo preference, etc.
I wouldnt be angry if the guy is not involved in the planning - being excited for the marriage doesnt mean you have to be excited for the wedding planning.
cluelessbride
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
I think my FH wishes we went to the courthouse, eloped, etc. He HATES being the center of attention and gets real nervous when he thinks about everyone looking at him, taking pictures, etc. He hates being in big groups of people. So part of his not planning might be related to his overall anxiety about the day.
palebride
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
if he's anxious about people watching him, i can understand that....lucky for him...most people focus on the bride that day! so he gets off the hook a bit! i think this is a great thing for the two of you to compromise on.....maybe he can do things a little quicker, but you can handle the brunt of the planning
mrsTimoney2be
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
My feelings get hurt sometimes from my FH's lack of involvement. He thinks he makes it better by saying 'You get to pick everything that You want though'... This does not always make me feel good. I wish he idlest pretended sometimes!
LadyPrincess
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
Posted by Janine24
don't get mad... weddings are a lot more involved for a girl that for a guy...
Agree
DjPiLL
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
Posted by Janine24
don't get mad... weddings are a lot more involved for a girl that for a guy...
Try telling that to my FW. In my situation its the complete opposite. I am doing all the planning myself. I got the DJ. I am working on the Photographer. The Hall we both did and went to... but I was the one that picked it out and made the appointment. I am working on STDs now. She hasn't even started to look for a dress for herself, or BMs dresses, or flowers (the three things she has to do on her own).
She has her sister's wedding in two weeks... and says she is waiting till thats over to start any major planning (out of respect I guess).
Ugh! But I don't mind cause I don't mind the planning part. Call me girly.
nov04LIbride
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Re: Where's that thread about FHs and their involvement in planning? Mine is USELESS!
My FH was involved at the beginning--went to look at tons of halls, booked HM right away, asked the GM...But is not as much of a help now, a year after we got engaged and 6 mos. til the wedding. I think it is because I tried to encourage his help, but also wanted to make the final decision. I.E. pick out your favorite tuxes! But, know that I will never want you guys in bow ties! It's hard because I have an idea about how I want every detail, and worked in event planning before so I know exactly what I want and need. I think it may be intimidating for the men of type-A women (or any of the women on this board that spend as much time as we do thinking and planning out weddings) to help out, knowing that if they do take over the responsibility whatever they do may not be good enough.
