My S/O are engaged (ok, that's an obvious one, sorry), but I am not yet wearing a ring. We shopped together and it was awesome. I fell in love with a setting, which he purchased later on as a surprise. The next step was diamond hunting for this ring. We found a diamond, which will be set into my ring when money allows.
I have shared with my fiance that this it is not a big deal to have to wait until I can wear this ring. He wants desperatley to give it to me (on his OWN), but money is suddenly tight and we have to wait.
The news of our enagement has been shared with everyone, and HE started the news ball rolling. We are both ecstatic about our plans. Now, whenever there is a social function, they all want to know how the newly enagaged couple is... and.... what does the ring look like.
My problem is that I don't know how to respond to this without maiking my Man feel like a complete loser. At the last get together, I told everyone 'it's being sized' because I don't feel it necessary to tell the planet that we're broke at the moment. Our finances are nobody's business but ours. (He got upset because it was a lie and he felt like a worthless loser.) How can I handle this question in the future?
BKtoLI
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Say you're in the process of creating the perfect ring and it takes time!!!
Or you can say that he is waiting for the right time to give it to you!!!
I had this same problem when I was engaged to my ex. He was still paying off the ring, unbeknownst to me, so I had given him a ring, to shut everyone up. But everyone knew of our intentions to marry each other.
I've seen some girls wear a fake one until they get the real one!!
DayBeforeThanksgiving
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Just say you have the setting, but are searching for the perfect stone.
cpeiris
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Tell people you don't want to wear it becuase you haven't gotten it insured yet. Or you can tell people that you guys are waiting to buy a ring until all of the deposits for your wedding are taken care of.
Beth1210
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Re: Where's the Ring?
people are going to keep asking you-
If it was me, I would get a nice fake one or just a sliver band for now
try inspiredsilver.com
I was looking to order a sliver band for the honeymoon, b/c I - like a big dumby, said to my FH do you think it's a good idea for me to wear my ring in Mexico? ( b/c of a post on here) and now I am not allowed to - granted his reasons are for saftey- my ring is flashy
sorry for the rant- anyway the piont is they had a nice silver band for $25 or $30
HearzBellz
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Re: Where's the Ring?
We had ours custom made & it took 8 weeks to get the ring in. I wore a small ring that he had given me for Valentines day (only a few weeks before) on my ring finger until it came in. Not the same exact situation, I know, but it shut people up about it.
Congrats!
Mrs. dleeny
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Re: Where's the Ring?
tell them that you are having it custom made
PegaLega
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Posted by dleeny
tell them that you are having it custom made
This is what I would do
JessicaM.
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Re: Where's the Ring?
I had this issue too. we were engaged before we picked out the ring. people would ask and I would simply say- we didn't get it yet. some people were fine with it and others had comments. but that's their problem. just let your fh know that you are doing what's best for BOTH of you and that's ALL that matters.
some people say stuff to me now b/c I don't have a diamond ering (I have a beautiful sapphire ) but I let them know how much I love it....if it's makes them feel better to think less of it, so be it...they are sad.
your FH is being responsible and should feel good about that....hell- he wants to marry you...you should feel REALLY GOOD about that!
they don't need to know your business, but they should know that you don't NEED a ring to be engaged or plan a wedding.
have fun, congratulations, and HAPPY PLANNING!
bluesashbride
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Re: Where's the Ring?
I'd make it a 'we' thing, not just 'he' and just say you're both working on that part (the ring.)
PS. I think it is awesome that he is saving to pay for it in cash! That is the way to go! My DH paid cash and I was so touched that he thought enough of our future to not go into debt! That is very smart and sweet of your FH!
FUTUREBRIDETOKEITH
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Re: Where's the Ring?
I HAVE HAD TWO RINGS OVER NINE YEARS. I DO NOT WHERE MY SECOND RING THAT MUCH BECAUSE ITS NOT IMPORTANT TO ME. IT'S HOW I FEEL ABOUT HIM.
prindia
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Posted by Clarachk
My S/O are engaged (ok, that's an obvious one, sorry), but I am not yet wearing a ring. We shopped together and it was awesome. I fell in love with a setting, which he purchased later on as a surprise. The next step was diamond hunting for this ring. We found a diamond, which will be set into my ring when money allows.
I have shared with my fiance that this it is not a big deal to have to wait until I can wear this ring. He wants desperatley to give it to me (on his OWN), but money is suddenly tight and we have to wait.
The news of our enagement has been shared with everyone, and HE started the news ball rolling. We are both ecstatic about our plans. Now, whenever there is a social function, they all want to know how the newly enagaged couple is... and.... what does the ring look like.
My problem is that I don't know how to respond to this without maiking my Man feel like a complete loser. At the last get together, I told everyone 'it's being sized' because I don't feel it necessary to tell the planet that we're broke at the moment. Our finances are nobody's business but ours. (He got upset because it was a lie and he felt like a worthless loser.) How can I handle this question in the future?
Honesty I don't think is anyone's business, you don't have to explain to anyone about your ring, but since people are nosey I would just say I am having it custom made or it's in the shop, or in the safe at home
October Bliss
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Re: Where's the Ring?
This is a tough one. I went through the same thing from April to July. He asked, I said yes, no ring. My mother refused to do any wedding planning without the ring. As soon as he put a deposit down he told the entire world we were getting married. (and my mother started wedding planning) When people asked I simply said 'I don't know, he is planning a special surprise, and I love surprises so I am willing to wait.'
Clarachk
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Hello Deleeny! Thank you very much for your advice. It's so simple, so truthful, and let's people know that it will be a special one.... when it is ready. You know, I didn't think of this. Thanks for helping me to respond to the askers politely, honestly and with dignity.
Cheers! ~Clara~
Clarachk
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Thank you, Jessica M. I DO fell very lucky. I am ecstatic that we figured out we were supposed to be together. (We were best, and strictly platonic, pals for four years prior). The best part is... so is he!
Cheers, and Congrats to you aswel. ~Clara~
Clarachk
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Re: Where's the Ring?
Dear BlueAshBride, I agree with you 100%. I have several friends who are also engaged, but I feel bad for them all. Most of the men seem unhappy, and it seems they were nagged into it. I would like to see people hold out a little longer for what they really want, and not just settle. Thanks for the input!
Mishu
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Re: Where's the Ring?
my dh and I exchanged rings (simple silver bands) less than a year into dating....apparently unkown to my family did not like my answer of 'it was a gift' and felt we had gotten married secretly. We kept those little silver bands ( 5 yrs) until we felt we were 1) old enough to tell people we were getting married 2) until we could afford an engagment ring
good luck
Angel2006
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Re: Where's the Ring?
This was the SAME exact thing that happend to me. I share your pain. What we did was tell people that it was being made. I got so upset woth my Mom for telling ppl that we were engaged as they would IMMEDIATLY look at my finger and it made both FH and I feel like crap. We just decided that we would continue to say that it was being made and we are in the process of finding the perfect stone!
Last Saturday we went to another party and I had my ring and wouldn't you know NOBODY looked at my gorgeous ring!! Moral of this long story is, in the end no one's happiness but yours and your FH really matters, so try not to let it bother you that much.
Lots of luck and keep your chin up!
Stephanie
Soon2BeMrsS
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Re: Where's the Ring?
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: Where's the Ring?
I think that if it make you and FH feel bad, you should buy a fake one. No one will know.
Or you could get a different type of engagement ring, not a diamond. There are many beautiful stones out there you could put into your setting.
