I used to say I hated her. Now I toned it down and say dislike. It has been so difficult to get a guest list from her.
We do not want an approximate number anymore. We want NAMES!!
What has your FMIL done that has annoyed you most?
My list keeps growing and growing.
nicpizzo
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Posted by angnick
i dislike mine.
i think that is enough said.
i could go on and on for a month about it.
it is awful.
DITTO! We too had problems getting a guest list/addresses from her. Then she was not of much help when people hadn't responded and we needed her to reach out to people. It basically came down to us threatening that they wouldn't be invited or counted as coming if she couldn't help out. But there's so much more, I could easily go on and on.
Good luck and hang in there.
gemini515
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
I love me FMIL and dislike her at the same time. She is so phony and tries so so very hard to get my FH attention. She is always like she is going to pass out when she wants attention.
gemini515
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Oh yeah, FMIL breath stinks so i dont talk to her much
Michy
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Posted by MrsBartonToBe
I think EVERYBODY has issues with their FMILs, big or small... Noone is perfect like our own mothers...
I definetly agree!
angnick
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Posted by lucite
I would never be combative to my FMIL. She is the type that likes drama and problems. I won't give her one. I'm always sweet to her and its killing her that I won't start a battle. Besides it makes her look like the bad guy. I get all the sympathy from my FI. I actually do like her and she LIVES in RI so I don't SEE her to OFTEN.
what i would do to have my mil not live in the same state.
at least she is a 20 min drive away and we dont see her much. that is a pleasure.
SeptBride70
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Honestly, we have really come a long way. I used to post out of frustration because I didn't understand her and I think I had a lot of resentment that she handles things better (in terms of temperment) than my own Mother. So part of me used to be upset AT that rather than realizing that it's a good thing to have a calm person to go to when I need it.
My FMIL is very open and very honest so sometimes she says things that make me wish she didn't say them-- but I would NEVER take that away from her or tell her that she shouldn't say them... it is who she is as a person and I've learned to understand that that is OK... I also have come to understand that she really does care about me and cares about me and my FH's relationship-- she tries A LOT to make our relationship better (IE looking to buy a house with a full apartment for us)... she does things and bends over backwards for me in ways that my parents have not... does that make them 'bad' people? No, not really-- it just IS what it is and there is no way around that. No one is better than the other-- I just try to look at my life in a REALISTIC approach.
Is your FMIL nice to you? Maybe not b/c you are probably upset for the right reasons-- and I know for sure you will have plenty of people that are in the same boat as you-- but, even though we have had our hard times, I really care about my FMIL and she is a GOOD person-- and she does A LOT for me so that means very much. It used to make me angry so all I would do is focus on the negative with her-- I used to get angry b/c I resented how she is 'softer' than my own Mom but now I've realized that I need to seperate them and be happy I have FIL's support and happy that I have FH...
For you, you need to find what works best for you-- TRY to be positive and not let it get you down. If something she says does offend me (no one is perfect-- she can accidentally say something just like anyone else and so can I in return) I just shrug it off where as before, for a long time, I used to dwell on it... I have come a long way and I'm happier, at the end of the day, now than ever before. It's hard for me to handle that they do more than my own parents-- that part hurts but in no way is it THEIR (meaning FIL's) fault for that-- and I won't take it out on them anymore.
I've realized this recently-- a big lightbulb moment for me. I really wish you all the best and I hope that you can TRY to find the silver lining for your OWN benefit and happiness.
lucite
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
WOW... so well said. Keeping peace with the In-laws does make your marriage healthier. There are so many other problems that will be confronting us in marriage. We can't allow stupid things In-laws do or say consume our minds.
jenn122397
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
dislike to say the least - there are many, many stories behind it that would probably take me hours to tell, but people who know me well and knwo teh situation(s) know that my judgement on her is justified.
TheBigDay
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
my MIL!!!
we started off cool, i thought she was awesome, like one of the girls... FH always told me she is f-n nuts!..
i am pretty quiet and observant soooo, over time BOY did I learn!
Pulls guilt trips like no one i know and has NO shame... i think that is the hardest part of trying to deal with her... her lack of shame and self embarasment...
she is delusional, manipulative, caniving, acts like your BFF then stabs you in the back... all she cares about is what SHE wants and having things HER way and HER family together.. she has completely disrespected FH and my relationship, attacked me because her other son is an A-hole, talked cr@p about me behind my back, even to FH, what a dummass she is! she is always trying to one up everyon, or should i say put down everyone she has no modisty and self respect... she is very unhappy with herself and tries to make up for that by be-littling everyone else around her... BELIEVE me i have stories, a few things i have yet to call her out on... although last time i did that she turned it around... denied everything, played dumb.. then had the nerve to go to FH behind my back after telling me she wouldnt discuss our disagreements with others!.. too bad i never made that promise to her and i already told FH i went off on her and i didnt sugar coat my calling her out on her behavior and he said 'it's about time, i am not upset with you i am relieved you finally reached your point and let her have it'... but talking to FH all she could say was i dont remember the conversation but twisted EVERYthing i said to her... so glad FH KNOWS his mom!
ahhh that felt good she comes to visit in 3 weeks, i could use the venting...
SeptBride70
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Posted by lucite
WOW... so well said. Keeping peace with the In-laws does make your marriage healthier. There are so many other problems that will be confronting us in marriage. We can't allow stupid things In-laws do or say consume our minds.
yeah exactly, and i try very hard to not be over sensitive and to realize that when she says things-- she is just saying them and that it's not always a direct 'hit' on me-- that, in reality and in her mind, i'm a part of her family-- and you can't get offended by family b/c they are the ones that are there no matter what i just had a discussion with her on the phone about this-- i now realize that she is not 'out to get me' lol i can't believe i ever thought that to begin with!
lucite
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Hard sometimes to suck it up, but it's worth it to keep relationships running smooth. Sometimes the things that upset you are meanless 3 months down the road.
SeptBride70
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Posted by lucite
Hard sometimes to suck it up, but it's worth it to keep relationships running smooth. Sometimes the things that upset you are meanless 3 months down the road.
yeah exactly-- and everyone offends everyone else at one point or another-- i stick my foot in my mouth all the time but i hope that people wouldn't hold it against me for a long time or make it out to be 'more than it is'... i try to see all the good she does for me and vinny. life is never easy and i live with them-- which is VERY hard sometimes but at the end of the day, we care about each other and that's what matters-- and the same goes for FFIL as well
angnick
Posted:
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Re: Who dislikes their FMIL?
Posted by TheBigDay
my MIL!!!
we started off cool, i thought she was awesome, like one of the girls... FH always told me she is f-n nuts!..
i am pretty quiet and observant soooo, over time BOY did I learn!
Pulls guilt trips like no one i know and has NO shame... i think that is the hardest part of trying to deal with her... her lack of shame and self embarasment...
she is delusional, manipulative, caniving, acts like your BFF then stabs you in the back... all she cares about is what SHE wants and having things HER way and HER family together.. she has completely disrespected FH and my relationship, attacked me because her other son is an A-hole, talked cr@p about me behind my back, even to FH, what a dummass she is! she is always trying to one up everyon, or should i say put down everyone she has no modisty and self respect... she is very unhappy with herself and tries to make up for that by be-littling everyone else around her... BELIEVE me i have stories, a few things i have yet to call her out on... although last time i did that she turned it around... denied everything, played dumb.. then had the nerve to go to FH behind my back after telling me she wouldnt discuss our disagreements with others!.. too bad i never made that promise to her and i already told FH i went off on her and i didnt sugar coat my calling her out on her behavior and he said 'it's about time, i am not upset with you i am relieved you finally reached your point and let her have it'... but talking to FH all she could say was i dont remember the conversation but twisted EVERYthing i said to her... so glad FH KNOWS his mom!
ahhh that felt good she comes to visit in 3 weeks, i could use the venting...
