Who do you invite to the shower????

Um....I am seeing post of people who are inviting 60-80 people to the shower. (and there is nothing wrong with that!!)

So Im confused.

1. Do you invite every woman to the shower who is invited to the wedding even if you don't know them??

2. Can you invite people to the shower who will NOT be invited to the wedding????

3. I was thinking I give a list of people invited to the wedding who I want at the shower. Basically a hand picked list.

I have a lot of girlfriends who I cant invite to the wedding. You cant invite everyone. But I would love for them to share something of the wedding. I would love to have them at the shower EVEN IF THEY DON'T BRING GIFTS. But it seems VERY wrong to do this.

I also think its wrong to invite EVERY woman on the wedding guest list. I don't know the FMIL's friends, SO whey would I invite them? I don't want them to feel obligated to come when they don't know anyone.

Thanks everyone.

1. Do you invite every woman to the shower who is invited to the wedding even if you don't know them??
**Many people do this, but it's not necessary.

2. Can you invite people to the shower who will NOT be invited to the wedding????
**I wouldn't. How would you feel being invited to a shower (and giving a gift) but not invited to the wedding.

3. I was thinking I give a list of people invited to the wedding who I want at the shower. Basically a hand picked list.
**That sounds fine

We only invited close family and a few close friends.....My shower was only about 30 people. We wanted it small so it was not a huge expense for anyone.

DO whatever the budget allows for.

1. no you dont have to
2. i definitely would not do that, i think its kind of rude to invite someone to the shower but not the wedding
3. this is what most people do

im having almost 100 people but my guestlist is also about 380, its most of the women but definitely not all... just think to yourself if that person would feel awkward coming to your shower because they didnt know you too well or whatever

i feel like most showers are about 30 to 50 people

1. Do you invite every woman to the shower who is invited to the wedding even if you don't know them??

I wouldnt invite every woman going to the wedding to your shower, especially those you dont know. The shower is mainly for you and your close friends and family.

2. Can you invite people to the shower who will NOT be invited to the wedding????

I think if they are invited to the shower they should be invited to the wedding

3. I was thinking I give a list of people invited to the wedding who I want at the shower. Basically a hand picked list.

Def give her a list!!!

1. Do you invite every woman to the shower who is invited to the wedding even if you don't know them??
Nahhhh I don't think you have to.. I'm not inviting like random GFs that I don't know or random parents friends who I've never heard of.

2. Can you invite people to the shower who will NOT be invited to the wedding????
def def def def not

3. I was thinking I give a list of people invited to the wedding who I want at the shower. Basically a hand picked list.
yep! that's a good plan

I invited only close friends and relatives to my shower (which was 24 people). I had over 300 people at my wedding, so inviting every female would be like another wedding reception!

I think it is poor etiquette to invite people to the shower who are not invited to the wedding. I plan on inviting all my close female friends and family to the shower who are coming to the wedding. Inviting girls who are not going to the wedding seems a little greedy to me even though I am sure that is not the intention...so why not do something more informal with them?

I certainly don't plan to invite every single woman who is coming to the wedding...but we'll see once it gets closer. Good luck!

1. Do you invite every woman to the shower who is invited to the wedding even if you don't know them?? Not unless you need to, some of my friends are invited to wedding ,but not really close enough to invite to the shower. Some do just family and very very close friends, and BP. Thats what im doing and its still 45-50 people.

2. Can you invite people to the shower who will NOT be invited to the wedding???? No way!!!! Anyone invited to the shower must be invited to the wedding

3. I was thinking I give a list of people invited to the wedding who I want at the shower. Basically a hand picked list.' This is what I did, giave it to my mom and MOH

I would have had 65 people if I invited everoyne on my guest list, but I cut some to make it 45-50,

It wrong to invite people if they are not invited to the wedding though, even if you tell them not to bring gifts!!

JMO - goodluck

Thank you so much everyone. You all confirmed exactly what I thought.

Its just that I saw some people on the Message boards who said they are having 50-80 guests. I could not imagine having a shower that big and it being a 'hand picked' bunch, or inviting every woman. For me I know that a 'hand picked' list would be about 20-25...so I was trying to figure out, in general, how people came up with 50-80.

I also knew that it would be in bad form to invite people not invited to the wedding. But thanks for confirming that.

I love this group!!!

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Posted by Lsorrent

1. Do you invite every woman to the shower who is invited to the wedding even if you don't know them??
**Many people do this, but it's not necessary.

2. Can you invite people to the shower who will NOT be invited to the wedding????
**I wouldn't. How would you feel being invited to a shower (and giving a gift) but not invited to the wedding.

3. I was thinking I give a list of people invited to the wedding who I want at the shower. Basically a hand picked list.
**That sounds fine

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ITA

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Posted by Juhgail

Thank you so much everyone. You all confirmed exactly what I thought.

Its just that I saw some people on the Message boards who said they are having 50-80 guests. I could not imagine having a shower that big and it being a 'hand picked' bunch, or inviting every woman. For me I know that a 'hand picked' list would be about 20-25...so I was trying to figure out, in general, how people came up with 50-80.

I also knew that it would be in bad form to invite people not invited to the wedding. But thanks for confirming that.

I love this group!!!

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My 'hand-picked, very close, special list' is 80 guests. Some of us just happened to be blessed with especially large families.

1. Do you invite every woman to the shower who is invited to the wedding even if you don't know them??

No. you don't have to invite every woman. Usually its close family and friends. Regarding FMIL's friends... you may want to discuss with DH about this. If FMIL is helping with the shower she may want her friends there.


2. Can you invite people to the shower who will NOT be invited to the wedding????

No. Its extremely poor etiquette. To invite someone to a pre-wedding event if they aren't invited to the wedding!


3. I was thinking I give a list of people invited to the wedding who I want at the shower. Basically a hand picked list.

You can do this.

I gave a list of my friends that I wanted invited. Then the moms invited a few of their close friends.

I definitely did NOT invite every woman from the wedding list - only the people I'm close with. This included all of my friends, but not all of the family members and not every one of my mom or FMIL's friends.

You definitely should NOT invite women to the shower who are not invited to the wedding. If you get a shower invitation, it's implied you are also invited to the wedding.

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Posted by MrsBlueRibbon

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Posted by Juhgail

Thank you so much everyone. You all confirmed exactly what I thought.

Its just that I saw some people on the Message boards who said they are having 50-80 guests. I could not imagine having a shower that big and it being a 'hand picked' bunch, or inviting every woman. For me I know that a 'hand picked' list would be about 20-25...so I was trying to figure out, in general, how people came up with 50-80.

I also knew that it would be in bad form to invite people not invited to the wedding. But thanks for confirming that.

I love this group!!!

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My 'hand-picked, very close, special list' is 80 guests. Some of us just happened to be blessed with especially large families.

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Yeah, I have a large family too! Sounds like you will have a great shower surrounded by people who love you!