who is invited to a shower?

wo0shply Posted: May 19, 2008 09:11 PM

who is invited to a shower?

FH just called me and said his family is pissed that they're not invited to my shower. My shower was supposed to be a surprise so I didnt have much to say about guest list. My MOH just asked about my guests for a shower so I proved her with my closest friends who are invited to my shower. My BMs do not have alot of money so I kept it small.

Shouldmy MOH invite my FH's family? Are the normally invited? Do I have to invite them? And do they have any right to be pissed?

edited

Just spoke to FH and he said his mom is pissed because her friends are not invited. His sisters are both from out of town and are invited, but his mom wants her friends who I do not know to be invited... are they supposed to be invited?

Mrs. V 2008 Posted: May 19, 2008 09:13 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

yes fh's family should be invited..they are invited to mine..

FutureMrsPD Posted: May 19, 2008 09:15 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

I am not sure I understand....what wouldnt they be invited?!?!?!?! I have never been to a shower where the groom's family wasn't there...they are going to be your family after the wedding. JMO though.

Medinatobe Posted: May 19, 2008 09:17 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

yea, i think that FH's family should be invited to the shower, usually both sets of families are invited to the shower. Everyone has a different situation, but maybe you should talk to your MOH. It's best to invite them so they don't feel offended.JMO

wo0shply Posted: May 19, 2008 09:17 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

I'm just confused, I'm the first one getting married so I've never been to a shower. So I dont know if its customary for FH's family to be invited. His mom is but I dont know about the rest of his family... grandma, sisters ... I'm not that close to them.

MKEA98 Posted: May 19, 2008 09:23 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Generally you invite your closest female friends and family to your shower, and FH's closet female family members (and perhaps his close female friends if you are close with them too or something).

At the showers I've been to, usually the groom's mother, grandmothers, sisters, aunts, female cousins, and nieces are invited (just naming who I can think of off the top of my head). You could maybe get away with just inviting his immediate female family members like the mom, grandmother, and sisters.

The people I usually have not seen at the shower from the groom's side, but who are on the invite list for the wedding, are friends of the family, co-workers, etc. Those are people you shouldn't feel obligated to invite to the shower.

I can understand your FH's family being upset. It doesn't matter if you're not close with them, you need to at least invite them out of respect. Perhaps you can ask him to talk to them and explain your situation - you didn't know, your friends are planning it and don't have much money. Perhaps FH's family could throw you a small shower for their side.

FutureMrsPD Posted: May 19, 2008 09:24 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Well, yes, it is customary to invite FH's family. I am even inviting FH's mom's friends. I gave the guest list to my sister which has 47people on it. I really think you should re-consider your guest list.

Shelly9697 Posted: May 19, 2008 09:24 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Yes I think FH family should be invited to the shower. JMO

SAMORY Posted: May 19, 2008 09:28 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

yes fh family should be invited. Especially if you all have a good relationship.

FtrMrsV Posted: May 19, 2008 09:31 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Yes FH family should definitely be invited. Mines isnt a surprise so my mom spoke with FMIL to get a list of FH family members to invite to the shower. IMO it may cause problems if they dont get invited.

bella1028 Posted: May 19, 2008 09:32 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Posted by Bride 2 Be

yes fh's family should be invited..they are invited to mine..

mine as well

Bride2Be824 Posted: May 19, 2008 09:33 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Yes your closet friends and family including his closet side should be invited.....I, too, learned the hard way as well and trust me it was hell.....to the point I was getting threatened about people not being invited to the shower they will NOT attend the wedding. At the end of the day, I gave in ONLY because of FH and now all is well.

Wifeynella Posted: May 19, 2008 09:33 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

they definitely have a right to be upset and should definitely be invited. it doesnt have to be all of them but i'd tell your MOH to add some of them

bella1028 Posted: May 19, 2008 09:34 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Posted by wo0shply

I'm just confused, I'm the first one getting married so I've never been to a shower. So I dont know if its customary for FH's family to be invited. His mom is but I dont know about the rest of his family... grandma, sisters ... I'm not that close to them.

it is customary....could you maybe add some of his relatives and explain that you really did not know etc....would this be a possibility? it would just be ebad to start off our marriage with bad blood between you and fh's family ya know?

wundmoretime Posted: May 19, 2008 09:40 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

This has been a hot topic for me for this week. It is customary to invite the females that are being invited to your wedding. My family feels that you should not invite people from out of town or those you know won't come, it seems you are inviting them for a gift. Maybe they could help with the cost of the shower, or maybe your mom could financially help.IMO, his female female members should be invited, at least the immediate members.

Two Peas Posted: May 19, 2008 10:00 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

FH's families are typically invited...In all honesty there were more of his family then mine at my own shower...I would invite them....Sorry!

Danielle623 Posted: May 19, 2008 10:29 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

I was wondering the same. I'm putting a lst together and asking that all the female guests (not the guests of the guests) be invited.

wo0shply Posted: May 19, 2008 11:07 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

Just spoke to FH and he said his mom is pissed because her friends are not invited. His sisters are both from out of town and are invited, but his mom wants her friends who I do not know to be invited... are they supposed to be invited?

Smiley22 Posted: May 19, 2008 11:15 PM

Re: who is invited to a shower?

You should just ask your MIL to provide you a list of people she'd like to be invited, and then invite them. I think it is very much expected....If finances are a concern, you can have your MOH tell her that any contribution from her would be appreciated.