This is a really tough topic for me but I need some opinions. My dad passed away 2 1/2 years ago so he is not here to walk me down the isle...we were especially close so this really upsets me.
My aunt has expressed interest in her and my uncle walking me but I just dont feel it is what i want..it doesnt feel right. But, I feel like if I dont have her and my uncle....and have someone else she will be really hurt.
My cantor suggested my FI come get me and walk me down...so that is an idea...and i think my aunt wont be so offended. But I dont love this idea....
But after a weekend with my FI family, I really feel a bond with his grandfather. We are not really really close...but i really care for him and feel so good when I am around him and would like for him to walk me. My FI thinks its a great idea but i know my aunts and uncles will be so offended.
What should I do? I feel like I have to settle this so I can get past it...it upsets me so much so I just want to decide and not think about it anymore.
HeatherandNick
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
it is YOUR decision. I think having your randfater walk you down is a great idea. I don't think your aunts and uncles should be to upset afterall it is their father
OctBride03
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
Heather, I think she is talking about her FH's grandfather.
Chloe - I think whoever you feel comfortable with is the person who should walk you down the aisle. Do you have any brothers?
blushingbride2003
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
The grandfather is your FI's? I think you should have someone from your side of the family to give you away. Are you not close to your aunt and uncle?
The Original 2nd-time-around
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
No, I think she's talking about her fiance's grandfather, right? No matter what, it is YOUR decision, and your day. I would just tell your aunt and uncle how you feel, and maybe they can do something else special, like a reading or something??
Lunatrek
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
Follow your heart. I also happen to be very close with my grandmother (she's like a second mom to me, I didn't have a father growing up so she and my mom raised me). I asked my mom and my stepfather first if they would be OK with it, and they said yes because they know how close I am with her. So I think if you let your aunt and uncle know that you respect their wishes but still want to do what you would be the most happy with, I hope they'd understand. It's your wedding, and you will only have this day once!
Chloegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
Its my FI grandfather....so no relation to my family. They are jealous as it is of my FI family and how much time we spend with them so this will just make it worse.
LizD
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
If you feel it would cause a problem, that you do not want to deal with, you may be better off with what your cantor said. I have seen people either walk up by themselves, or the bride walk half way up, and the groom meets her there. Symbolizing the journey alone, than the journey together. It is your day and you need to be comfortable with what you decide.
Latina511
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
You should do what you want to do and feel in your heart. If it was up to me I probably would just walk down by myself but its all up to you.
Chloegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
The cantor said it would be too sad if I walked down myself....everyone would feel sadness/loss instead of joy and happiness. That is why he suggested FI come and walk me all the way down....but i think that would be weird him walking all the way down the isle to get me.
Would that be weird?
HearzBellz
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
Chloegirl.... I also have no father to walk me down the aisle... I however have a brother.
Just remember that the person walking you down the aisle is not only walking, but giving you away to your new family. I don't know how apporpriate it is for someone from his family to do that.
I understand how you want to include him, but maybe you should think of another way to honor your friendship with his grandfather.
HOWEVER, if you feel he is the best person to give you away, then do it.
ETA: I don' t think your FH meeting you halfway is weird.. I attended a wedding where they did that & it looked quite beautiful actually.
danigirl0
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
how about your mother or the best man?
endlessluv429
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
sorry this is so tough for you.....like someone said maybe it should be someone from your side of the family--but then again why grasp @ straws if you feel a special bond to his grandpa? It is the whole sybolism of you being given away so just be prepared for your aunt and uncle's reaction, because they will probably think it is more appropiate for someone from your family give you away. what about your mom? or special cousin? you do what you feel most comfortable doing-there are really no 'rules' of who walks you down the aisle! good luck sweetie-don't stress, it will all work out!
regina2
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
Do you have a brother, sister, mother?? Who can give you away..
princess99
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
I am also in the same situation, both my mom and dad have both passed away. , My aunt and uncle offered and they were offended, but got over it, I am having them do an allia at the auf-roof, my sister and brother in law are walking me down the aisle. If you need to vent or talk, or want to pass ideas back and forth feel free to Fm mail me.
Chloegirl
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
I understand what you are all saying....I know it should be someone from my family for symbolic reasons...I kinda lost sight of that.
I am just not close with my side....never really was. I am an only child and my dad raised me...no mom! So I would either go with my aunt/uncle or go by myself.
regina2
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
I would go with your aunt and uncle or walk by yourself(perhaps with a picture of your father).
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
I think you should go by yourself...and have FH come to meet you
but include aunt and uncle in the procession...where the MOB would be...have them walk down
princess99
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
I know someone who walked them selves down the aisle, in honor of there Mom and Dad, it is not the cantors decision, it is YOUR decision, I know what you are feeling, I went thru this with my rabbi and also him making suggestions in place of my mom by having my sister get a rose from my Fh at the wedding etc. NOT, my sister is not my mom and never will be. It is your day, and it is hard enough, so do what your are most comfrortable with.
kmcwed
Posted:
Member since
Re: Who is walking me down the isle...(LONG...SORRY)
I agree with the other posts. You have to do what is best for YOU.
That said, if I was in your position, I would walk myself half way up the aisle, and then have my FI come and walk me the rest of the way. I think it's extremely moving and beautiful.
It also puts to rest the possibility of someone being offended by your choice.
But remember, you need to choose what is best for YOU, regardless of how others may feel about it.
