So FH and I just bought a house together, we've been living together for most of our relationship (moved in together 3 months after we met and have been together 2 years). Lately I've been wondering if the majority of engaged couples live together or not, and if so, what has your experience been like? Do you rent or own? who is in charge of the finances, etc. Do you feel like you are missing out in a sense by living with your FH before being married, or are you happy you made the decision to live together first?
KoHa
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
My FH and I moved into an apartment eight months ago, and we're getting married next summer. I'm really happy to be living with him. In fact I like that we are getting used to sharing a space before marriage, because we can work out in advance any issues or pet peeves we might have that stem from living together (which so far have been minor).
Right now we share the expenses (he pays rent one month, I do it the next; whoever doesn't pay rent for a particular month is in charge of utilities, etc). We each pay for groceries at different times. We'll probably still rent right after marriage but we plan on buying a house.
A friend of mine won't move in with her fiance until marriage, and I respect that -- to each their own. But I def have no regrets moving in together...
QUIA
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We started living together 5 months into the relationship... bought a condo together 1 yr later... moved out and became landlords ( we use it as an investment now ) and now we live in a house.. I love it.. he has a son... as well as I.. 4 years later its stronger than ever and the boys are really close! Its the best thing coming home to him... I learned to cook because of us moving together.. B4 it was Hot dogs and cereal.. now its Chicken Parm and all sorts of things..
QUIA
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
And to add to that I think it was the best thing we could have done... we got to know one another really well... habits, sharing expenses, etc. If we would of waited until after we were married alot of things would of been to knew... I think it worked out perfectly! I have friends getting married that have not shared bills with there FH's.. and honestly I get scared for them.. we have sooo many bills and Im so happy we had the chance to get used to it!
kmiller
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
FH and I rent an apartment. We are saving for the wedding and after the wedding will save for a house.
I am in charge of the finances.
I am glad that I am living with him first, so by the time we get married we will have all the kinks in communication worked out, as they relate to home stuff. Its not easy, but its fun
FutureSMwifey
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
we live together..we got an apt together in august!!!!
FutureSMwifey
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
Posted by kmiller
FH and I rent an apartment. We are saving for the wedding and after the wedding will save for a house.
I am in charge of the finances.
I am glad that I am living with him first, so by the time we get married we will have all the kinks in communication worked out, as they relate to home stuff. Its not easy, but its fun
I 100% agree with you!!! Thats how I feel. I think it was one of the best things we did....
we are renting and after wedding save for a house YAY
PoppedInASnap
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We dont live together yet. FH works late during the week so the weekend is really when I get to see him and that stinks.. His family is extremely old fashioned though but they have been hinting that I should move in as soon as the renovations are done
prsstar69
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We JUST purchased a co-op together! We closed in August!
You know what really upset met? We just received a letter from the church about how it is 'morally' and 'socially' wrong to live together prior to marriage. Maybe per the bible it is (and I AM Catholic) - but to afford a wedding, student loans and a home in this society - we bought a home when it was a buyer's market!!!
is anybody with me on that?!?!?!
emric
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
Posted by prsstar69
We JUST purchased a co-op together! We closed in August!
You know what really upset met? We just received a letter from the church about how it is 'morally' and 'socially' wrong to live together prior to marriage. Maybe per the bible it is (and I AM Catholic) - but to afford a wedding, student loans and a home in this society - we bought a home when it was a buyer's market!!!
is anybody with me on that?!?!?!
I'm with you on that. I'm Catholic and I like all the 'traditional' stuff but realized after we got engaged that things are different in today's world. I bought a home 5 years ago and have never lived with anyone and didn't plan on it until after I got married. My FH owns a home and the commuting back & forth and bills didn't make sense when we had a wedding to save for. So 2 months after our engagement I finally moved in and rented my home. But I will tell you, it was a very HARD move for me but I'm enjoying coming home to him every nite.
august09bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
Posted by AugustBridein09
I don't know what we are.....I live with my mom ( I've never lived away from home) And after 2 years of dating FH just started staying over night and never left that was a year and a half ago LOL So he technically has some of his things at his parents' but all of his clothes, etc are here and he gets mail here too.
We are going to move around the time of the wedding to either a co-op or condo b/c neither one of us want a house.
i'm in the same situation...i live in jersey with my parents, and he lives in the bronx with his grandmother, but he stays here in my older brother's room like every night....
we're actually looking for houses right now, but just can't seem to find anything that's worth the price
MnM182008
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We have lived together for about and year and 1/2. Its like we are already married, I am not sure how much its going to change after we make it 'legal' lol. I can't imagine living apart now after we have been together for so long.
MrsBtobe2009
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We live together. He closed on the house the same time we met. We have a joint acct so the money comes from both of us for all finances. I am glad that I lived with him first because I feel like I know his little quirks and he knows mine. This way there are no surprises when we are trying to get pregnant, start our family, and renovate our house. I think either way is fine (living with or without til marriage), but I do not feel like I missed out on anything at all....
xosweetiexo
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We moved in together after 2 yrs of dating.... lived together for a year b4 we got engaged. I think it's REALLY IMPORTANT for ALL COUPLES to live together before getting married. Ladies, you are in for a shocker when you move in. You have to get used to living together and you really learn SO MUCH about each other that you didnt know before. Some people I know get married and then move in, and realize they cant even live with this person they were with 24/7. I'm telling you- its def. a different experience than being at someones house ALL Day. I love that we were able to learn so much about each other and there were ups and downs...and now when we get married- there's not going to be an added pressure of being married to him and learning how to live with him lol
xosweetiexo
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
Oh, and I forgot to add that before we were engaged, we split the finances 50- 50 to pay the bills. Now we just opened a bank account and my money is his money...and visa versa.
SuzieMac
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
My FH and I have lived together since only a few months into our relationship. We also have a child so its a different situation but I can tell you this- Little things related to the wedding itself are what are bothering me, for instance- I'm staying with my parents the night before the wedding in a hotel and he is staying at his mom's but I think it is weird that we both feel the need to stay away from our home just to get the full effect Then we also don't have anything 'new' to come home to after the wedding, so buying a place and waiting till after the wedding just seems really nice for those who get to experience that. On the flip side- I'm really happy because I feel that living with him has made me feel so secure in our relationship. Everything down to who does the dishes can become an issue for people who live together for the first time (so its nice to know we've already hashed that out). As far as finances, we've split it down the middle, I handle everything related to our daughter and making payments on the credit cards and loans. He does the insurance payments and anything related to taxes. Hope that helps!
CandB4604
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
I live with FH and love it! :)
Ella and Ben
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We moved in together after 6 mths of dating into a condo he owned. Everything was great but I didn't fully feel like it was my place. About a year later we bought a townhouse together and things got rough due to finances. He handles all the shared finances and I handle my personal ones. There were some ups and downs the 1st year, getting to know eachothers real selves and habits but it worked out. Now it's been 4.5 years and it's amazing. We now have a little baby girl to show for it.
jnc12306
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We started seeing each other in Dec 05, made it official in January 06 and moved in official around May06. We have lived together ever since and I wouldnt have changed anything!!!
christineafeth
Posted:
Member since
Re: who lives with their FH?
We have for 4 1/2 years. Right now though I only sleep next to him 2 nights a week b/c i work nights full time.
