Our wedding is going to be somewhat of a group effort. My parents, his mom and us are all chipping in to pay for the wedding. Whats the rule these days....if there is one anymore!
BrideToBe24
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
Money is a tough situation.
FH and I are paying for most of it ourselves. My mom paid for our eparty and my dress and also the timeshare for our honeymoon.
FH's parent's are throwing the RD and are giving us X amount (the same amount they gave to his sister when she got married) Whether we use that for our vendors etc is up to us.
My dad has mentioned helping out but I have yet to get anything from him.
For our situation whatever someone wants to pay for is a bonus for us. I didn't expect anyone to pay for anything. (but I'm glad they all want to help!)
MJDoc12
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
honeslty, i don't think there are too many 'rules' anymore. most couples are contributing more and more to their weddings, so it makes it kind of a gray area to say who should pay for what.
i think you should sit down with everyone and figure out how much they are willing to spend. they say 'a' vendor, but for all you know that might only be like $2K or something....many times you don't realize what ppl consider a 'reasonable' expense, untl the numbers are laid out in front of them.
Espo22
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
there aren't rules anymore but if you want to follow the traditional rules of who pays for what then you can look up that list. BTW traditionally the grooms parents pay for the Rehearsal dinner.
RGV07
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
my parents , FH parent6s and us are contributing to the wedding!!!!!
RadioLau
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
You could work it however you want these days. Traditionally the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner but it doesn't really matter. If you want ask them how much they would like to 'donate' to your wedding and tell them you will distribute the money where needed.
Kara and Todd
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
Honestly, I'd be grateful that both sets of parents are contributing anything at all. I do think it's wrong to ask your FMIL to pay for all the other vendors. I think it's wrong to ASK her to pay for any more than she has offered.
FH and I are paying for more than half of the wedding, but both sets of parents have been more than generous in contributing. I wouldn't dream of asking them to contribute anything more than they wanted or offered.
nicopico13
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
I feel as if my post has come off completely wrong...I will have to edit it. I don't expect anything. I guess you have to know the two sides of the fam. to understand. I was just curious what the 'rules' were these days because my mother wanted to know.
july06bride
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
No rules nowadays
this is what worked for us...
my parents paid for the RH, everything to do with me-dress,veil,headpiece,trials,day of makeup,day of hair,bras-everything...they also gave us their aa miles for our honeymoon so that we paid only $600.00 for two flights to italy, also made and paid for the OOT bags
Dhs parents paid for all of the vendors-photo,limo,flowers,video,band...they paid for the restaurant for the RD-Brother in law paid for the open bar at the RD
Dh and I paid for-invites, calligraphy, honeymoon,favors,rings,church fee,pre cana...
BubbasBride
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
i would have to agree. there are no rules these days over money.
LyseeH
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
I really don't think there are any rules for who pays what now a days.
I knew that for my wedding I would have to pay for it since my parents don't have sh*t to their name.
My inlaws knowing this, wanted us to have the wedding we always wanted, within reason. We knew we didn't want to have a big wedding so there was really no set price on what we could and couldn't have. I actually don't know what our wedding cost because my MIL planned everything! She did an amazing job too!
One thing you need to ask if your parents or his are helping pay, how much of a say do they have in decisions. That way you know ahead of time and won't get as mad if they say otherwise.
luvbud
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
mom is paying for reception, flowers and invites. we are paying for everything else. FH's parents are paying for RD. my dad is going to pay for some of it, but we didn't get any money yet. parents are divorced, and neither have that much money
Kara and Todd
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Re: Who pays for what these days?
Posted by nicopico13
I feel as if my post has come off completely wrong...I will have to edit it. I don't expect anything. I guess you have to know the two sides of the fam. to understand. I was just curious what the 'rules' were these days because my mother wanted to know.
There are no rules. If your parents contribute, that's great. If they cannot, then you have the wedding you can afford to pay for.
But you did ask in your original post if it was all right to ask your FMIL to pay for all the vendors. To that, I still say no way.
