WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

Original post by Happybride2005

Feb 05, 2005 09:49 PM

Do sister in law/brother in law have to be in the bridal party?

Here's the mini vent. Today fh brother was asking him questions about the wedding.(the first time he's done it) When fh told his brother who will be in the bridal party, he had something to day. He said in the weddings that he's been to, when the bridal party is with other people besides immediate family(as in friends), the sister in law/brother in law should be included. FH sil isn't in the bridal party. I don't even know her. We tried to get together with them, but they don't show interest. Fh brother is telling him that he's not tell him how to plan the wedding but sil when be a little hurt. If I knew her and we did things with her, of course I would have her in the bridal party. But how could I have someone in the bridal party that I don't even know.

Sorry so long. Just had to vent a little

suezboss Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:37 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

Posted by Bunnymonkey

no one is 'supposed' to be in your bridal party except the people you WANT to be in your bridal party.

Ditto.

Most of the weddings I've been to, DON'T include the SIL/BIL.

If you were CLOSE with SIL, then I would say include her... but in this situation, it clearly dosne' t seem to make sense! and it woudl just be a wierd that she would even want to be in it, b/c she is someone you are not close with.

February05 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:39 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

Im not having FHs 2 sisters or SIL in my BP. Theyre older, and have so much going on in their lives, that i really dont think they care either way if theyre in it or not. His 2 sisters will be doing readings at our ceremony though

suezboss Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:39 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

Posted by neeniebean86

Im not having FHs 2 sisters or SIL in my BP. Theyre older, and have so much going on in their lives, that i really dont think they care either way if theyre in it or not. His 2 sisters will be doing readings at our ceremony though

Neeners UP!

February05 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 03:41 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

oh.. AND .... does she want to be in the BP just for the sake of it and b/c her husband is, or does she want to be in it because she wants to be there with YOU and to be by your side for such a special day??? seriously, from this situation, it seems phony for her to WANT to be in it, like just to look good?

Happybride2005 Posted: Feb 06, 2005 04:25 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

Posted by neeniebean86

oh.. AND .... does she want to be in the BP just for the sake of it and b/c her husband is, or does she want to be in it because she wants to be there with YOU and to be by your side for such a special day??? seriously, from this situation, it seems phony for her to WANT to be in it, like just to look good?

i really think fh brother is making a big deal out of it. she has never picked up the phone to give me advice on vendors(she got married almost 3 yrs ago). fbil, i hope doesn't make a big deal out of this. even though i don't have a make up artisit yet, fh brother is causing stress. the joys of planning a wedding

halfpintny Posted: Feb 06, 2005 06:58 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

I did not ask my FSIL to be in the wedding even though my brother will be a groomsman. I wanted people who were my closest dearest friends. I did however make FHs neice a jr. BM. I say you ask wyou YOU want unless FH has strong issues I say you don't need to include FSIL.

NYtherapist Posted: Feb 06, 2005 10:47 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

My FI's brother was married quite recently. His wife asked the entire family to be in her bridal party; however, she really doesn't have any friends. It was easy for her to include all of the women since she didn't have anyone else to include.

I'm not having my FI's sisters, sister-in-law, or anyone else in his family in my bridal party. I get along just fine with them, but I wouldn't consider them 'friends.'

I had 6 women I wanted in my bridal party. To include all of the women his sister-in-law included, my bridal party would've had a total of 12 women in it. To me, that's just a circus.

I really believe you should choose people who YOU want to include.

julie75 Posted: Feb 09, 2005 03:28 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

I am in the same situation and i am not including my FSIL husband just because the family wants me to. I don't know him that well and I want to keep it simple. If my FSIL can't understand she doesn't have to be in it either.

Summer05 Posted: Feb 09, 2005 03:39 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

Posted by suezboss

Posted by Bunnymonkey

no one is 'supposed' to be in your bridal party except the people you WANT to be in your bridal party.

Ditto.

Most of the weddings I've been to, DON'T include the SIL/BIL.

If you were CLOSE with SIL, then I would say include her... but in this situation, it clearly dosne' t seem to make sense! and it woudl just be a wierd that she would even want to be in it, b/c she is someone you are not close with.

I agree 100%

Marisa M Posted: Feb 09, 2005 10:11 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

YOU HAVE WHO YOU WANT - end of story ! There's NO need for a 5th cousin your mother insists on or your FH's SIL that you don't know ! there's no need for your OWN SIL if you didn't want her in the BP !!
There is no 'ettiquite' for this sort of thing, and if there was i'd toss it out the window !

Jamie&MarkSept.'05 Posted: Feb 09, 2005 10:18 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

I say absolutely not!!!!

I cannot stand FSIL to the point that I don't even want her at the wedding....I tried so many times to be nice to her in the past (she got married last year and I kept asking if she needed help with anything) and she has done NOTHING in return!

You have who you want and don't even give it a second thought!!!!

Think of it this way, it seems like you have limited contact with her as it is, so who cares if there is an issue....you have enough to worry about!

May05Bride Posted: Feb 09, 2005 10:24 PM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

its your wedding, and your BP so you can do what you want.

Usually, SIL and BIL are in the BP. That is how we have it with us.

My FI is not close to my brother - and honestly - maybe doesn't even like him, but my brother will be in the BP because he is my brother. I put that as a fact to my FI.

littlebookworm4 Posted: Feb 10, 2005 07:15 AM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

no as far as i'm concerned there is not real 'right or wrong' anymore. the people in your bridal party is suppose to be those who you are close to and who have been with you through thick and thin.

Happybride2005 Posted: Feb 10, 2005 08:18 AM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

agree with u all. so does my fh. i think its all his brother's thinking. fsil probably already knows that she's not in the bp.

thanks for all your advice.

FriendoftheBride Posted: Feb 10, 2005 10:45 AM

Re: WHo should be in the bridal party/mini vent

I don't think there is a general rule as to who is in your BP. It's your wedding your decision. I've been to a wedding where the groom's sister wasn't in the BP. You've made your decision already so people just have to deal. Think about it this way, you have more tact and wouldn't be acting this way if you weren't asked to be in their wedding.