WHOLE FAMILY VENT!!!!

ok...i NEVER vent about my psychotic family and in laws, but this is crazy!!!

~~little background: FH's parents divorced when he was 5 and both parents have been remarried for 25 years. but they dont like eachother at all and apparently FMIL's father despises FH's father. first time they saw eachother in 15 years was the engagement party and they havent seen eachother since.

when i saw the post about the backyard RD BBQ I loved it! so i called FH and told him about it. he suggested we have it at his dad's. his father has an unbelievable HUGE backyard. so i said before you ask let me ask your mom. so i email her and shes like...absolutely not. i wont go to that man's house. blah blah blah. and you dont want my father (who's 88) to be that close to him. fine...i understand not wanting to go to her ex's house.

then shes like...i dont like this idea of a backyard RD...my father will be too close to my ex. it wont be good. im like...umm...wherever we have it he will be that close. and shes trying to rationalize it.

well i like this idea...so i call my mom and ask if we can have it there. and shes like...(in jewish mother tone), how can you put this stress on me right before the wedding?? i cant handle it. oy vey!!

then i call my sister (MOH) and ask if i can have it there. she just bought a house, but the wedding is in september. and shes like of course not! and starts yelling at me that i didnt ask about the drama going on with the closing of her house...like im supposed to read her mind!!!

and the families are telling me i should drop this idea and do what everyone else does and have it in a restaurant. i wish i had my own house!

sorry so long, but this whole drama with FH's family is driving me nuts. and not to mention my mom's jewish breakdown!

i need a drink. and what's worse...FH can't handle it either, so i end up dealing with his family.

Oh no...I'm so sorry

Families can be such a pain sometimes...and having divorced family complicates it even more.

What are your in-laws gonna do the day of the wedding then? They're gonna have to be in the same room in fairly close proximity too. And that's a bit upsetting that your family won't host it and are telling you to just drop the idea.

If you really want a bbq, is it possible to hold it at a park. This way, you have the whole outside/bbq feel plus activities for everyone and people don't necessarily have to be so close to each other--they've got a whole park to wander about!

poor girl!!

I had to over the whole 'jewish mother tone' thing, my mom does the SAME THING! and we're not Jewish.

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Posted by rkl1130

Oh no...I'm so sorry

Families can be such a pain sometimes...and having divorced family complicates it even more.

What are your in-laws gonna do the day of the wedding then? They're gonna have to be in the same room in fairly close proximity too. And that's a bit upsetting that your family won't host it and are telling you to just drop the idea.

If you really want a bbq, is it possible to hold it at a park. This way, you have the whole outside/bbq feel plus activities for everyone and people don't necessarily have to be so close to each other--they've got a whole park to wander about!

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im actually going to look into having it at eisenhower or wantagh park. see if i need a permit or something. oy! dont get me started with the day of the wedding. lol i feel like i need to have hired help to keep them away from eachother.

Im so sorry thats awful

Did you think of not having a RD? Were jewish and were not having a RD were doing a brunch the day after for OOT guests and immediate family. Or like someone mentioned above you can have a bbq RD in a park?

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Posted by qtdimps23

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Posted by rkl1130

Oh no...I'm so sorry

Families can be such a pain sometimes...and having divorced family complicates it even more.

What are your in-laws gonna do the day of the wedding then? They're gonna have to be in the same room in fairly close proximity too. And that's a bit upsetting that your family won't host it and are telling you to just drop the idea.

If you really want a bbq, is it possible to hold it at a park. This way, you have the whole outside/bbq feel plus activities for everyone and people don't necessarily have to be so close to each other--they've got a whole park to wander about!

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im actually going to look into having it at eisenhower or wantagh park. see if i need a permit or something. oy! dont get me started with the day of the wedding. lol i feel like i need to have hired help to keep them away from eachother.

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I was going to suggest Eisenhower. I think needing a permit is dependent on how many people you will have. But it would be a great alternative to having it in the backyard--you can even provide games to play at the park.

your family is a bit 'high maintenance'.... just like mine.

We wanted a small backyard wedding with about 50 guests, and as soon as I mentioned it, my mom had a meltdown.

Note to self: give mom AS LITTLE TO DO AS POSSIBLE

Completely changed plans... spent twice as much, and are having it at a hall.

I advise you to do the same... fall 'out of love' with the bbq... while the concept of a BBQ is really nice, the reality of your family at the same BBQ in one family member's home is way too messy.


I'm glad I changed my plans. Everyone (mom, FMIL....) is staying completely out of planning, and we got to do exactly what we wanted... and had NO DRAMA.

and that is PRICELESS!!!!

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Posted by qtdimps23

we're not gonna do the typical 'rehearsal'. just getting bridal party and immediate family today to give out gifts and just spend some time together before the wedding. and we're not having the morning after brunch. i know im gonna have to give in...i just wish the families would grow up and learn to be in a room with eachother. whats gonna happen when we have kids??

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Uhm that's what I said to my mom and dad (when my daughter was born) who didn't get along and didn't speak to each other since they divorced. 'It's not about you anymore!' And the day my daughter was born was the first time they spoke in 9 years. Thankfully they got over it and speak when they have to. Don't get me wrong I still worry about my dad having one too many and saying something stupid, but for now they get along. Tell the stubborn ones if they think they cannot act like adults for one day, don't come! I know it sounds mean, but sometimes it makes them 'get it!' Hope it works out for you

Awww I'm sorry sweetie. I want a backyard BBQ rehearsal too, but FMIL wants a restaurant and if she's paying, she gets what she wants. If it's what you really really want, and you're paying, then they're going to have to deal. Stay strong!

Regardless of whether you have the RD in someone's backyard or in a restaurant, the former in-laws are going to see eachother. I would just have it at your FFIL's house, and whoever shows, shows.

Girl I feel your pain. My parents have never been married and they dont want to be anywhere near e/o at the hall....

I feel your pain !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Too BAD- iots YOUR DAY- DO not think of them 'not getting along' on your day,. they don;t speak so it shouldn;t be a problem ! LOL


I cannot STAND = FHs parents right now-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ughhhhhhhhhh

they think we are spending WAY TOO MUCH
so I lie about how much it all cost, I forgot what lies I told !!

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Posted by gpurple

I cannot STAND = FHs parents right now-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Ughhhhhhhhhh

they think we are spending WAY TOO MUCH
so I lie about how much it all cost, I forgot what lies I told !!

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lol thats funny. just dont get caught!!