Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

Julestrd Posted: Sep 24, 2004 02:00 PM

Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

I just called my sister (a BM) to ask her about my MOH's dress. It took so long for her to pick out a dress that after awhile I told her I didn't care what it looked like to just get one. Well my sis tells me that my MOH isn't returning any of her phone calls and that my three other BM's are planning my bacherlorette party.
I don't even know what to get her as a gift because I feel like I don't even know her.

Ok I can understand not being financially stable but I gave her the ultimatum that if she felt as though she couldn't afford everything in order to be the MOH than please let me know before it is too late.

Oh and did I forget to mention she has never been to NY and will be here for 9 days but says she doesn't want to go site seeing very much because she can't afford it. Umm you have known you were coming on vacation for 18 months now.....

Now what do I do...I am so confused, hurt, upset and disgusted all at the same time

JimmysBride Posted: Sep 24, 2004 02:13 PM

Re: Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

So wait a minute, DOES your MOH have a dress??? You just don't know what it looks like -- but she has it right?

I know how tough it can be having OOT BMs if they don't cooperate -- and I'm just talking about returning phone calls. I can't believe how inconsiderate she is being with 2 weeks to your wedding!!

I think at this point all you can do is let it go. You don't need the stress and aggravation right now. I don't know how important the dress is to you, but maybe you could send her an email requesting a picture, description, anything. But that's it. There's nothing more you can really do and it's not your fault. Buy her a gift you feel is fitting and end of story.

I know that everything will work out though!!

isopodi Posted: Sep 24, 2004 02:18 PM

Re: Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

Posted by Julestrd

I don't even know what to get her as a gift because I feel like I don't even know her.

I am a little confused....why is she your maid of honor if you feel like you don't know her enough to even get her a gift.

Did I miss something or do you mean you don't know her anymore because you didn't expect her to act this way...

Julestrd Posted: Sep 24, 2004 02:18 PM

Re: Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

Yea she has her dress. She is going to pick it up tomorrow I guess. I asked her to send me a pic of it so I will wait on that.
But I feel really bad since my other BM that is coming from Florida wants to see ALL the sights and will get here the same day. I can't force her to spend money. Oh well I guess we'll see what happens next week.

Thanks for listening

Julestrd Posted: Sep 24, 2004 02:20 PM

Re: Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

Posted by isopodi

Posted by Julestrd

I don't even know what to get her as a gift because I feel like I don't even know her.

I am a little confused....why is she your maid of honor if you feel like you don't know her enough to even get her a gift.

Did I miss something or do you mean you don't know her anymore because you didn't expect her to act this way...

I didn't expect her to act this way. She came to visit me in California in May and was excited about everything. We have known each other since 5th grade!! But then she didn't want to do anything after she bought her plane ticket. She then sent me an 'I'm depressed and feel sorry for myself. e-mail' I told her I understood (she has a child and but no father, still lives with mom and dad) that is why I said if she wanted out no feelings hurt but she opted to be there, but hasn't been

didianita Posted: Sep 24, 2004 02:30 PM

Re: Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

beofre is too late you should aske her if she thinks is too much pressure and responsability for her to be you MOH, ask her if she will be ok on being a BM or just a guest, that way you can arrange for you sister for example to be the MOH instead and not worry about anymore.
I had a similar problem. When I got engaged I picked my best friend as my MOH, but months after she moved to Spain. I still wanted her to be my MOH but as time passed by we saw it more impossible for her to come to wedding, so that's what I did, I asked her if it was better if I picked somebody else more realiable, and she agreed. She never made it to the wedding but still my best friend

pschica Posted: Sep 25, 2004 11:16 AM

Re: Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

my sister was my moh and a nightmre too...threatened not to come up to that day....don't let her get to you (eaiser said then done but it is possible!) on my wedding day, it all worked out fine, well, for the day, but its a long story!!!

if you need someone to vetn to, you can always fm me!

Maribelle7777 Posted: Sep 25, 2004 02:35 PM

Re: Why do I keep regretting picking my MOH (sorry vent long)

I see she bought the dress...if she doesn't want to site see that's her fault. She'll just be by herself then. She sounds like a sad sack and you've tried to help but she doesn't want aany just wants to be miserable.
What else can you do?? I'm sorry she's being like that