why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
JessicaM.
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why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
so, I have been going over my body with a fine-toothed comb lately and I am very unhappy.
I really like the shape of my legs, but the backs of my upper thighs have the dreaded bumps and dimples. I am so self-conscious about it, I don't know what to do with myself. then I see people that don't have it...with 'perfect' bodies and I just about die.
the thing is...why do we as a people care? why are we so hung up on looks and beauty to THIS extreme. I am b/c honestly, I see the chicks in FHM and Maxim and stuff that my dh likes and I look NOTHING like that...I get the whole 'love no matter what thing' but it just kills me that they look so much better.
I guess this is a bit of a downer, but I am consumed with this at the moment. doesn't help that pms is setting in...
how do you ignore your flaws and enjoy the skin you are in?
stephanief
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
I definitely have some imperfections and look nothing like those 'girls' you speak of. Does it bother me, no....why? I know I am a good person and I feel beautiful, even though I am not perfect by society standards. I have a loving husband, a baby on the way and good health, what more could I ask for?
itslaurie.
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
Posted by JessicaM.
I see the chicks in FHM and Maxim and stuff that my dh likes
one word AIRBRUSH.
Those magazines are probably 90% responsible for why 'we as people care'. They are a farce, the girls on the pages are NOT as perfect as they appear. While some of them don't have any dimples, etc - they do have other imperfections that are magically erased.
You can't compare yourself to something that does not exist.
You are hott.
EMES2006
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
My only saving grace when I see those girls in FHM, Maxim, Stuff, etc. is AIRBRUSHING. I point out to DH all the obvious airbrushing (around the boobs, thighs, calves, hips, nose, etc).
I have plenty of hangups about things I don't like, but I found it's best not to tell DH. Because once I point them out, and then HE'LL notice them too.
For the very few and rare women who don't battle with cellulite, I'm sure they have their own body issues somewhere else on their body. They might look at you and say 'I wish I had her calves' or 'I wish I had her beautiful skin'.
What's that song? 'Accen-tuate the Positive. Elim-inate the Negative...'. If not physically, then at least mentally!!
JanuaryBride06
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
Jessica, do you remember a while back on the 06 board, someone posted a link to show us how airbrushed a lot of those girls are? (Was it Q who posted it?) That's how I kind of get over it. But truthfully, I care very much about how I look to the point that it's unhealthy. I'll confess - I was anorexic and bulimic for several years. It wasn't because I wanted to look like 'them', but eventually, I kept up that behavior because of 'them.' So now, I really try to ignore those images; because it's next to impossible to ever look like that and because it reminds me of the years I spent hating myself to an extreme and not living my life.
eta - You know I think you're hot!
iamvocal72
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
I totally know what you mean - Please. please please remember that those women are TOTALLY AIRBRUSHED! No one really looks like that - it truly is a fantasy!
Check this out! Go to Portfolio and click on Before/after - some of the befores and afters are INSANE! when you click on the pic it shows you the after then you have to click on show the before and the pic goes back to the before shot! Fluid Effect
itslaurie.
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
Posted by JanuaryBride06
because it's next to impossible to ever look like that and because it reminds me of the years I spent hating myself to an extreme and not living my life.
So true, and so important. You can miss so much life falling victim to such obsessions. Fight back, embrace your imperfections, they make you an individual and beautiful.
And Mel, I think it's awesome you where willing to confess in that way, and I admire that.
SuzBride
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
I had alot of body issues growing up, that really extended until I met DH (well a little into the relationship). I am not going to say I am at peace with my body, but knowing the DH loves me just the way I am helps me accept (mostly) my flaws and the way my body is. I guess it just took someone else to say I was beautiful (and really mean it) for me to start to believe it.
Katherine121
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
Posted by iamvocal72
I totally know what you mean - Please. please please remember that those women are TOTALLY AIRBRUSHED! No one really looks like that - it truly is a fantasy!
Check this out! Go to Portfolio and click on Before/after - some of the befores and afters are INSANE! when you click on the pic it shows you the after then you have to click on show the before and the pic goes back to the before shot! Fluid Effect
WOW!!!! That made me feel super-good about myself! No one EVER looks like what they look like in magazines, movies, etc. With the technology being what it is today people can be made to look like anything.
Making people look perfect funds the movie industry, print media, makeup houses and clothing designers.
JessicaM.
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
thanks so much girls for your support. I feel like I am being crippled by this and it *****. I mean, look at the way celebs get torn apart when they expose a flaw...I feel like people are doing or will do that to me...like I can't walk around in a bikini (even though my belly is pretty decent) b/c my legs are a mess
do we as people, give EACH OTHER a break? what about our men...do they NOT see it...or do they see it and not CARE?? (I follow EMES rule of thumb...don't point it out and PRAY he doesn't notice)
Mel, wow, I am blown away that you would expose a piece of yourself like that to answer my post. thank you so much for your honesty. you truly are something else (and smokin' hot to boot )
Laurie, you are my ROCK star...
JanuaryBride06
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
Posted by JessicaM. I feel like I am being crippled by this and it *****.
That's why I admitted it. I hope that it didn't freak anyone out.
I think that we're hard on celebrities because all we see if airbrush, airbrush, airbrush. We expect them to be perfect because that's how they're presented to us. So when we see them with flaws, it makes us feel better about ourselves. We shouldn't tear them apart for it, but in general, that's our first reaction.
And men - I think that when they look at us, they don't focus on what we're focusing on so given that, they don't see what we're self conscious about. They also don't expect us to look like a VS model. After all, we don't expect 'perfection' from them.
itslaurie.
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
You are your own worst critic, I do not think that people exam what you perceive as your flaws as unforgivably as you imagine. You are placing yourself under a 'microscope' right now, you have to cut yourself a break girl.
I have heard it time and again - confidence is sexy, hott, etc.
CLMon7906
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
I wear a flippin' 0 and even I can stare at my thighs and stomach long enough to feel they are flabby and gross. Society has made us this way. I heard this commercial with Geena Davis about how girls today will hear some ridiculous number of commercials (of various sorts) by the age of 16 and NONE of them will promote a positive self-image or encourage girls to be acitve (physically) and healthy. It's appalling...but sex sells...sexy sells....reality, does not.
sorry you are down right now over this..but just remember, none of those people roll out of bed looking like that...none of them.
Preshy7
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
most days i dont care
some days it comsumes me.
i feel better when i do something about it to fix whats bothering me.
for example my skin sux so i started taking accutane.
i gained weight after my wedding and im.....well...not doing anything...but i can go to the gym if i start feeling like sh!t
if i feel my smile needs sparkling ill slap a few crest white strips on
i cant change permenent things like the shape of my face or if my hair has bad texture, or if im generally not a Jessica Simpson look alike, but the things i can change, i ususally do, and it makes me feel better.
and i also accept that i am not FHM material , but that ANYONE of us can be with a sh!tload of airbrushing!
just look at rachel ray! shes 'normal' but she still looked great in that mag
BJandDan
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
Have you seen these lately?????!!!!!!???????!!!!!! You're crazy to not like any inch of you!!!!! You are gorgeous!!!!! Stop with all the crazy talk!
johnsae
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
It consumes a lot of my time too. I hate it. Rarely will I really feel confident with how I look, and if I do I will see someone that looks way cuter than me on the street (at least I perceive it this way).
There are times that I don't care though....it just takes too much energy sometimes....but most of the time I think about it a lot.
iamvocal72
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
Posted by BJandDan
Have you seen these lately?????!!!!!!???????!!!!!! You're crazy to not like any inch of you!!!!! You are gorgeous!!!!! Stop with all the crazy talk!
OMG! That is you? GIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRLLLLLLLLLLLLLL! What the HELLo is the matter with you??? You are being silly. Make a point every day of looking in the mirror and saying I AM BEAUTIFUL! Go get the Christina Aguliera song and BELT IT OUT! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
I wish.... Can I please steal your body for my wedding day? I'll give it back - promise!
Did you check out that web site? You need too! It is truly eye opening!
AMGBride2008
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
What's your favorite part of your body?... in your opinion, your best feature? Whatever it is, focus on that, emphasize that and you'll feel better about yourself and forget about the flaws... flaws are flaws, everyone has them (boo..hiss), but also keep in mind, there are worse out there... I have to remind myself that every time I go to the beach... 'Seen better, seen worse (more worse than better).
Mandyin2007
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
I am so self conscious too. I have lost like 15 lbs in the past month and a half, but I don't see where. I still feel huge.
LaurenluvsTJ
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Re: why do we care? and if you don't, tell me why and/or how you don't please?!
I know how you feel... there are many times when I am very unhappy with my body and feel ugly and fat. I totally blame it on magazines and the media -they portray images of women that are totally unrealistic, and we are trained from the time that we are little girls that we should look a certain way.
