Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

conigs25 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:25 AM

Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

I gave my parents the list of who to tip and how much and after looking it over, its like another $1200!!!!!

Why do all these people get tipped ON TOP of what we are paying? I can see the maitre d and bridal attendant. But why photo, dj, ceremony musicians, officiant?? Most of my vendors OWN the company that i booked and already are getting the cash.

I just dont see the reason why we tip them. They are providing a service that i paid LOTS of money for them to do in the first place

Please help clear this up

Thanks

edited for spelling

xcalystax Posted: Jul 05, 2006 09:56 AM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

I totally agree... I have no clue why

conigs25 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 10:01 AM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Posted by xcalystax

I totally agree... I have no clue why

Its absurd

Jen2999 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 10:04 AM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

my list was very high to begin with too and I wound up cutting it down about 200 bucks because I just couldnt justify it.

CC59 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 10:07 AM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Its really insane. I'm tipping the vendors that do not own their own company, like the DJ, MC, flower delivery, etc. The photographer and the video guy own their own company and will not get a tip on the day of the wedding, but after when we pick up our stuff. The only person that I will tip the day of that owns the 'company' is the make-up lady.

October Bliss Posted: Jul 05, 2006 12:14 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

I have no idea. I was raised to believe that tips were something extra people earned when they gave extraordinary service. People on my automatic tip list are the bridal attendant, maitre 'd, DJ's assistant (DJ himself is owner of company), 2nd videographer (1st is owner of company), and floral delivery guy (unless it turns out to be my florist who owns her own business and works from home and charges for delivery).

People who need to earn it - photographer (owner of company & his wife as second photographer), 1st videographer (owner), DJ (owner), limos (included in fee up front, and owner is my driver), horse & carriage driver (included in fee up front), and DOC (has already earned, just need to figure out how much).

People I'm probably not tipping at all - hair and makeup - both own their own business and I'm paying more than I can afford up front, but then again, hair stylist is POP for as many trials as I need, and I'm thinking of going back b/c I'm reconsidering the style so, I'm not sure here at all.

In the end, I'll probably eat my words and tip everyone.

klingklang77 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 12:21 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

b/c unfortunately america is a tipping society. go anywhere else in the world and they dont even tip waitstaff.

this 'problem' could easily be solved if we all just stop tipping people that we do not think should get tips (i.e. DJs and photographers).

FallBride05 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 12:33 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

It's absurd!

And I think it's absurd for people to expect tips, and to expect a certain amount.

My philosophy is to tip what you FEEL like based on the service that person provided you.

Case in point: DH and I tipped the bridal attendant what we thought was fair based on the service she provided (which was NOT very good in our opinion). Only to later find out she went to our Banquet Manager to say we didn't tip her (when we did), he in turn went to my father after the wedding was over and told him we didn't tip her. My father forked over a nice chunk of change, all the while telling our BM that he just couldn't believe that we would forget to tip her. Apparently, she was not satisfied with what we gave her and decided to tell the BM that we didn't tip her.

CLMon7906 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 12:35 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Posted by klingklang77

b/c unfortunately america is a tipping society. go anywhere else in the world and they dont even tip waitstaff.

this 'problem' could easily be solved if we all just stop tipping people that we do not think should get tips (i.e. DJs and photographers).

this is true...FBIL studied in australia last year and he said that when they'd go out to eat, the staff would get excited because the americans were there and would tip!

the thing that is most annoying is that they all EXPECT and practically demand a tip...

LaurenluvsTJ Posted: Jul 05, 2006 12:37 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

My thoughts:
Its craziness.
But we all do it.
I have nothing else to say.

suzybilly819 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 01:15 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

I totally agree and do not feel that it is necessary.

Mitabtrfly Posted: Jul 05, 2006 01:21 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Posted by suzybilly819

I totally agree and do not feel that it is necessary.

I'll second this!!!

ali120206 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 01:42 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

My thoughts:
Its craziness.
But we all do it.
I have nothing else to say.

I agree.

The tough thing though is that it's something else to think about on your wedding day! I told FMIL this weekend what we need to do tip-wise (as well as pay the band in cash that day) and she was in shock!

Goldi1021 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 01:49 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

The only decent tip I ever got was:

'Don't eat yellow snow!'

shellibean Posted: Jul 05, 2006 01:53 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Posted by Goldi1021

The only decent tip I ever got was:

'Don't eat yellow snow!'

HAHAHAHA

CKJ906 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 02:14 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

I dont get why you have to tip the Officiant? Arent you paying him cash?

Shiv Posted: Jul 05, 2006 02:35 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

how much do you have to tip DJ asssistant?

lauren721 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 02:38 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

I was really angry about the whole tipping bs too, but unfortunately, everyone has been tipping these people exorbitant amounts of money and if we don't do that, we look like a-holes. I am giving eacjh vendor the bare minimum b/c at this point, we can't afford it. However, even the bare minimum isn't cheap!

klingklang77 Posted: Jul 05, 2006 03:12 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Posted by CLMon7906
this is true...FBIL studied in australia last year and he said that when they'd go out to eat, the staff would get excited because the americans were there and would tip!

everytime FH and i go out to eat here in the US, he complains and we have a discussion about this when the bill comes. i have worked in the restaurant industry for about 10 years so i am on one end and he is on the other about this.

I was really angry about the whole tipping bs too, but unfortunately, everyone has been tipping these people exorbitant amounts of money and if we don't do that, we look like a-holes. I am giving eacjh vendor the bare minimum b/c at this point, we can't afford it. However, even the bare minimum isn't cheap!

we wont look like a-holes, b/c technically we wont see these people again. give what you can afford and dont worry about what you 'look' like.

GsCM4EVA Posted: Jul 05, 2006 03:32 PM

Re: Why do we tip all these people?? THOUGHTS PLEASE

Only tipping the DJ, Photo/Video and bridal attendant-maybe 50.

I do not want to tip the maitre d'-theres no point-when we booked the bm told us it was part of our 18% charge-maybe, if hes lucky, he'll get 100.