So today one of the bm's decides to tell me that she things im ridiculous asking them not to drink before the ceremony, and to start drinking at the cocktail hour. the ceremony starts at 130, and the ch starts at 430...is that asking a lot??!?! she swears that every wedding shes been to, everyone was drunk before it started..*** is that?!
ssdbk
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
Posted by princessofci
So today one of the bm's decides to tell me that she things im ridiculous asking them not to drink before the ceremony, and to start drinking at the cocktail hour. the ceremony starts at 130, and the ch starts at 430...is that asking a lot??!?! she swears that every wedding shes been to, everyone was drunk before it started..*** is that?!
OMG, you have every right to ask them not to drink. They will have at least 6 hours to get drunk after that!!!! My GMs drank, and nothing went wrong, but I think they should have waited, even without me asking them to.
jellybean1420
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
Having a glass of champagne is fine but they def. shouldn't get 'drunk' or trashed. There is no reason for that and they shouldnt want to either.
Jen2999
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
are you getting married in a church?
If so, then they DEF should not be drinking beforehand. It actually states in our church handbook that if we or the bridal party show up drunk they have the right not to marry us.
destini458
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
no way she should respect your request and that is it. no one should be drunk anyway, they will just get out of hand, no one is drinking before the receiption..
Mrs.Ptobe
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
I may be very naive, but I had no idea people drank BEFORE a ceremony... I always thought people got trashed at receptions... learned something new!
Sweets14
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
Give her the number for AA. Sounds like she needs it!
m&m
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
Our church would not let anyone in the bridal party participate in the wedding if they appeared to have been drinking - could you tell her its not your choice, but the church's regulation?
AlliNMatt06
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
Posted by kittythestray
I don't think you're being unreasonable. People should respect your wishes on your special day. Does she know you're really serious about it, or does she think it's not really a big deal to you? Maybe just try talking to her again about it. I have a similar (but worse) situation than you so I COMPLETELY understand. I am extremely uncomfortable around people when they're drinking, so I am not having any alcohol at all at my wedding.
Wow! I respect your wishes. Really no alcohol at all!! I think my big Irish family would have a heart attack!
I am not worried about my girls at all, but the men on the other hand Who knows with them.
That girl be a alcholic! That is the only person who would ask such a ridiculious question.
prinses777
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
What... I don't even understand WHY you would have to ask that... Thats Messed UP!
I also come from an Irish family... I am sure the guys will take back 1 or 2 but... I wouldn't expect that from the girls...
Who knows...
Reesa
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
I don't think that's a lot to ask at all. She's being unreasonable and immature IMO.
October Bliss
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
Posted by princessofci
So today one of the bm's decides to tell me that she things im ridiculous asking them not to drink before the ceremony, and to start drinking at the cocktail hour. the ceremony starts at 130, and the ch starts at 430...is that asking a lot??!?! she swears that every wedding shes been to, everyone was drunk before it started..*** is that?!
I think it just shows that at least one member of your bridal party is not as mature as you are.
roxyspark
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
Posted by m&m
Our church would not let anyone in the bridal party participate in the wedding if they appeared to have been drinking - could you tell her its not your choice, but the church's regulation?
My church has the same request. If I was in your situation, I would discuss not drinking before the ceremony, if she says anything, give her a brochure for AA and tell her you need someone you can depend on not a keg stand champion.
kbeana24
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
This is not a frat party where you 'pre-game', this is your wedding and you would like people to be SOBER
BernandRob
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That is just not normal.
Maybride519
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
OK...,can you say Lush! I do not think it is too much to ask people not to start drinking before a ceremony that starts at 1:30pm. That is pretty early and I think she can hold out until the limo when you usually drink on the way to the reception.
tbtmickey
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
I do not think that is too much to ask...I think it's crazy that she would want to drink before 1:30...I think that is a problem. It's going to be so much fun, who needs to drink anyway?
MJDoc12
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
ewww---what is wrong with her? sounds like she doesn't deserve to be in your BP if she can't control her alcoholic tendencies long enough to stay sober thru the ceremony to CH.
i think she's being very immature. how old is she anway? saying that everyone is usually 'drunk' at all weddings she's been to...sounds like someone under the legal drinking age!!
hocus
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
I didn't say anything to my BM about this. I just assumed that they would be sober for the wedding and OK (as in not stupid trashed) at the reception.
I think we had a bottle of champagne floating around but no one was drunk before the wedding. At the reception I think most of the bridal party was having a good time but still totally alert. No one was stupid or sloppy or throwing up.
cjik
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
We have bridesmaids because of a very old superstition. Brides and grooms once believed that evil spirits would want to attach themselves to them and ruin their happiness. The bridesmaids and the groomsmen are therefore decoys, meant to trick the evil spirits and keep them away from the bride and groom. Sounds nutty, I know, but I am not making this up. I read in some book explaining bridal traditions.
That said, I don't think that's what you really wanted to know. Seriously, I would be a little concerned about this bridesmaid if she can't keep herself from drinking before 4:30. I have been in some wedding parties where champagne was available, however, usually, no one drank it, or drank much of it until after the wedding ceremony is over.
I think you need to stick to your guns and tell her you don't think it's appropriate. It doesn't matter if other people choose to get trashed before their weddings, this is your wedding.
She's lucky she didn't go to a wedding I attended not that long ago. The couple in question both had families that had been torn apart by alcoholism, and they had many family members who could not drink without getting into a brawl. They served no alcohol at their wedding--they just didn't want to deal with any messiness. When they explained why, I thought it made perfect sense.
Good luck, and I hope your bm respects your wishes.
glinda_goodwitch
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Re: why exactly do we need to have bm's?!?!
I agree, to a point. No one should be drunk at the ceremony. But seriously, some people are shy and nervous, and being in a bridal party can be a lot for someone not used to having all eyes on them. One drink to calm the nerves isn't bad, especially if she this is a concern for her. I would ask her if that's the reason why she wants to drink before the ceremony. If it is, maybe she could have a mimosa or something beforehand.
