Why is this bothering me????

StayandJohn Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:19 AM

Why is this bothering me????

John has a friend (a girl who is invited to the wedding), they along with our best man have been friends for like 8 years. They have dinner every once and a while. Last night John, bestman and the girl came out to Staten Island (where I live) for dinner and then John was going to show her our house. The restaurant they went to was 3 blocks from my house, John was supposed to call me to come with them to show the house. He never did. He calls me last night and I was kinda cold to him but I didnt say anything.

I know that both the Best man and John liked her whent they first met, but nothing ever came of it. I didnt appriciate (sp?) the fact they he brought her to OUR house alone. Am I being petty? Is it hormones? I got so angry this morning when he told me 'she really likes the house' I was like (in my head) do I really care what this chick thinks?? I know that if I had dinner with a male friend and brought him to show my house John would have a cow.

Am I being crazy? I really cant pinpoint why this is bothering me so much.

allure Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:23 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

Dont read to much into it,and remeber you are the one he is marrying But i also would of been ****ed i guess its a natural feeling have a great day

jennbaby Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:24 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I'd be sooooo ****ed!!!!
But you have to trust him.'

Tell him you did NOT like that! And ask why he did it!

StayandJohn Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:24 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

Thank you sweetie

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:25 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I think you are 100% correct.. U know how I am with things and I would be COLD AS ICE AS WELL>.

BC I know John well enuff to know he would have MORE Then a cow..

Like you I could CARE less what she thought of my house.. I mean does her opinion REALLY matter!

In all honestly you should say to him.

How would HE feel if you came to HB and had dinner 3 blocks from HIS house and never called you..
OH boy I would hear the yelling from the bridge....

Men.. They can't understand!

Stacy.. Love ya!

I HOPE I don't know her!

If she lives near me let me know.. We can always do a drive by and throw a milkshake on her car!

StayandJohn Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:27 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I Love you T!!! You know what you may know her!! I believe she used to hang out at Bref's, she lives on the other side.

I didnt know how close you live to John! I passed your block the other day! I'll be stopping by REAL soon lol

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:30 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

Oh No Breff's..

I am about to Puke..

Breff's girls are BAD news!

Sage10.03 Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:31 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I would have been PissedOff as well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Although you know that it means nothing, it's just the fact that she was in your house...without you there and that he never called....

UGH!

I'm sorry....

You should tell him why your mad though.....
get it out and tell him if it were the other way, he wouldn't have been so happy about it either!

StayandJohn Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:33 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

T, fm...

StayandJohn Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:34 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I think I will say something to him tonight.

Ronnie&Theresa Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:38 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

MILKKKK SHAKESSSS!!!!!!!!!

FM back!

StayandJohn Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:41 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

T, your making me pee!!!!! FM back

Scoop Posted: Mar 26, 2003 09:51 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I would definitely speak to him about it....first, so he doesn't do it again and second, if you hold it in, you will probably feel worse.

Fran M Posted: Mar 26, 2003 10:17 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I wouldn’t worry about it. You know in your heart that there was no harm intended. I think its natural to be a little jealous especially if you don't your FI friend well.

I have been on the other end of this triangle and didn’t even know it for 3 years. My friend Jim and I have been very close for years. I helped him pick out his wife’s engagement ring. I saw their house with him before she ever saw it. About a year ago she came to me and told me how upset she felt when she heard that I saw their house before her and how now that she knows me and the relationship Jim and I have she felt silly about her reaction. I never thought it would be upsetting to her and would never do anything to harm their relationship.

eroxgirl Posted: Mar 26, 2003 10:28 AM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

thats just wrong...he needs to have his a$$ handed to him, IMO!

Give him hell!

bird Posted: Mar 26, 2003 12:38 PM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

Our best man is actually a woman - they've been best friends for years. And even though she is cool and we get along great and everything, I made it very clear to my fiance that he cannot have her or any other female friends at our house when I'm not home - and I agreed to the same as far as males. It's not that I don't trust him but that it just does not look right or feel right to me - I guess it's out of respect for our relationship. My father never had any females over the house when my mother wasn't home unless it was family...

karenJ Posted: Mar 26, 2003 02:05 PM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I would be ****ed as well, but you need to ask him why he did not call you when it was time to go to the house. Is it that it got too late? What prevented him? You need to know. Keeping the communication lines open especially on these type of subjects is really important. I don't blame you for thinking of the worst but keep in mind that at least you knew he was taking his friend to the house and he told you about what she though of it afterward.
Hope this helps.....

Karen

kmcwed Posted: Mar 26, 2003 02:21 PM

Re: Why is this bothering me????

I'd be mad, too!

My FH is friends with a girl. She's his cousin's best friend. But my sixth sense tells me that this girl either in the past or now has some kind of 'thing' for him. She called him once to say her doorknob was broken and could he please come and fix it. It was 10:30 at night. We were first dating, so I really didn't say too much.

Then a few months later they met up at the mall by coincidence and had lunch. This time I DID give him a hard time. He assured me they were just friends and they have never been involved at all. But I still get that gut feeling there is more to it from her side of things. She also had an attitude at our E-party and even her friends were wondering what bug she had up her a$$.

So..... I totally understand how you feel.

Then again, we have to remember that these guys are marrying US, and they had their chance with these other women and chose not to take it to that level.

I trust my FH or I wouldn't be marrying him. I can see why you're upset, but you probably have nothing to worry about.

KarenM