FH ran out to do some errands with my car before I have to go to school so I can finally write this.
Ok the e-party went beautifully except for one MAJOR problem...FH's 89 year old grandfather got TRASHED at the party and HAD to be CARRIED across the room to his table. FMIL refused to take him home and he kept trying to get out of his seat so he was practically falling over and asking to lie down IN A NICE RESTAURANT in front of about 30 people.
Well FMIL was apparently supposed to be watching him but she was so busy being a ditz and running around ruining my photos (she INSISTED on taking HER photos when people were trying to take mine so EVERYONE is looking at her camera and NOT mine)
My parents are FURIOUS they believed that they ruined the whole party. FH had to call them to apologize for his mothers and grandfathers behavior (she refused to bring him home) instead of apologizing to my parents she tells him oh he is on medication and only had 1 glass of wine. Friends and waiters told my parents he had 6 and he downed each one in ONE gulp. He is not even supposed to be drinking.
She called my parents last night NOT to apologize but to say that her father was upset that he SLEPT thru part of the party (he eventually fell asleep at the table)
Needless to say my parents have told me that he is uninvited to the wedding, his mother is no longer welcome in our home nor is his grandfather. And right now they never want to see her again.
This could not have happened to a worse crowd - (my parents are ultra conservative). FH is SOOO embarressed about the whole incident his mother keeps saying oh it was no big deal. My parents have told FH that they don't feel that he was in any way responsible and that they still love him - and they mean it. But this event will forever stick in their minds - They are the type that NEVER forget something bad that happens FOREVER! They have BANNED his grandfather from the wedding and would like to ban his mother if they thought they could get away with it. I have finals coming up - my parents are now angry about EVERYTHING b/c of this incident and they keep bringing it up to me even after I asked them not to discuss it anymore (if you look at my photos in the background you can see his grandfather sleeping away and his mother scowling as usual
SHE told FH she didn't think it was a big deal.
NovemberSue
Posted:
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Re: Will it never end! VENT and UPSET
I agree with Kelly. Time should calm everyone down on this situation.
sept20yay!
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Re: Will it never end! VENT and UPSET
Your parents have to be a little more reasonable with the situation. People makes mistakes- even huge ones. The grandfather should be at his grandson's wedding. It is his family and when he is long gone, it will be important. You know the saying you can't choose family. You can't change the way they act, but you can change the way you react. Don't waste too much energy on this. I have a similar problem. I am convinced my fil's are functional alcoholics. But I know that they still love their son and really just suffer from a weakness. Also, it is just a wedding, one day. The marriage to your fi is going to be the biggest deal. Instruct the waiters not to serve him at the wedding!
112903
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Re: Will it never end! VENT and UPSET
This is a tough one... I am sorry for your situation, but beofre anyone decides this one or that one shouldn't be invited. FH should sit down with Grandpa and tell him the deal, he is an older man he may not understand really what happened and FMIL needs to stop and take care of her father!! I am sure everything will work out for you.
julybride444
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Re: Will it never end! VENT and UPSET
So sorry that this happened to you! Unfortunately, you really should include the grandfather at the wedding. Maybe you could put someone else in charge of watching over him-and let the catering hall know not to offer him drinks?
Sorry you have to go through this...good luck
swags1016
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Re: Will it never end! VENT and UPSET
Christine,
I have an uncle that is kind of the same way. Ok he is the same way if not worse. I asked my family if there was ANYWAY not to have him at my wedding, the answer was nope have to invite him. So this is what we are doing. We have asked 2 of our ushers to watch him. The minute that he gets 'out of hand' they will remove him! That simple. They do not want to have us be upset or embarrassed on our wedding day, so IF this happens the boys will assist him to the door and show him to the nearest limo!
Maybe something like this is possible for you. Also maybe explain the situation to your BQ manager and maybe he can have the bartenders water his drinks down?
Nessa79
Posted:
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Re: Will it never end! VENT and UPSET
I guess theres one in every family huh???
Remember he is 89, and family, and even though he 'shouldn't' be drinking no one can stop him if he wants to. He is a grown man.
I think to not invite him to the wedding is too harsh and innapropriate we all have family members that we wish we werent related to at times, but remember when it comes down to it, FAMILY is more important than anything in the world, they will always be there for you. Family is more important than the perfect Wedding. Im sure FH grandpa loves him and you very much, and at 89 unfortunately he may not have many more special moments to share with you. Theres always a chance that something will go wrong, as much as you try to stop it. Someone else may get just as drunk and stupid too.
Im sorry you feel so bad, but im sure you are thinking more about it, than the rest of your guests, its not worth all this stress your putting yourself through. Cheer Up
PS- it isnt a good party untill someone gets drunk and passes out anyway
